I Lost the girl I Love and my friend..

[seedo]

what is bothering me that i felt something towards her when i first laid eyes on her it wasn't just because she was beautiful, it was'nt this kind of attraction that u see a pretty girl and ur hormones pop up, but it was a different kind of feeling for a reason i do'nt know, and when i got to know her better my love for her grew, she had everything , she is beautiful and smart and she has the best of smile and she is the kindest person i have ever known... it seems that my mind is not accepting the situation, i just kind of believe that in some kind of a scenario that everything will turn all right and i will be with her


Maybe it was the way that i confronted her of my love to her, we became really close friends i would call her everyday and we would talk about everything, and sometimes she would just get so amazed on how i would know her mood and she did ask me how do i sense it... we grew closer and closer as time passed, we became so close that i was so attached to her, that i became afraid of losing her, i was afraid if i confronted with the feelings i have toward her that i will not find the same feelings from her, and that she wouldn't feel comfortable with the situation, and there is this rule "that u cant fall in love with ur friend"....so know i became afraid that she don't love me and losing her as a friend. so i decided not to tell her for the moment and to find the right moment to tell her... i did try to tell her several times but i just wasn't able to speak the word out of my mouth. i would tell her while I'm calling her that "i want to tell you something" and when she asks what is it, my body would just tremble and i would tell her "nothing nothing........I'm just teasing u"....my love to her turned into a burden on my soul that i wasn't able to get rid off by telling her......after we both entered different collages she got busy with her studies and she got caught up in her new college life we didn't talk as much as we did in high school, so i became afraid that maybe i will lose the chance of telling her... and i would have to just spend my life asking my self "What if".

....so i called her and told her that i love her and i was afraid of telling her...i waited to hear the words " i love u 2", but the words never came and somehow the conversation ended with her saying that they are such nice feelings and she wouldn't ever get uncomfrotable with such wonderful feelings, in other word the phone call did end without a straight answer from her... i did try to call her the several times after but i wasn't able to get to her

now I'm kind of a mess, i just like hearing her voice and being with her.... i just don't know what to do i keep thinking that there might be a chance ..I am truly a mess !!.. i posted this thread because i needed somebody to talk to, i am going crazy, i cant study, I'm thinking of her all the time, I'm talking to my self, and just life seems purposeless anymore

i relocated this post from my thread"is there really love" ... because i stared a wrong start there presenting my story

[sazzya1987]

You need to concerntrate on your schooling even if you are in a mess. I think its best to let her have a little time to herself for a while because confessing your love for her the way you did may have given her a bit of a shock. Let her come to when she feels comfortable to talk to you. She may be busy with her schooling at the moment and she may also need to find the right words to either let you down gently or to either share the same feelings with you. So I guess the best thing would be to wait and see what happens.

[Zach]

I completely Agree with Vashti. Confront and do what you must. If there is no feeling returned then you must get out of this situation and let yourself move on.

[seedo]

there maybe a chance to meet her tomorrow at a reunion of our high school , should i try to call her and ask her if she is coming or should i wait to meet her tomorrow at the reunion,
what should i tell her when i see her tomorrow or should i just avoid her ????

[Mathias]

You broke up with me at the end of August just after I returned from holiday, we had been going out for almost three years, your 18 and Im 21, I had just graduated and you were just going to University in London. Why did this have to happen?

We had the best time during the two and a half years we were happy together, I loved you with everything I had, you supported me through hard times as a result of my sport, you were awesome, my best friend, girlfriend, rock, companion, lover. We were one. I realise now that this was naive and short sighted, I was so in love with you, I would have done anything for you, and I think for a lot of that time you would have done almost anything for me, you loved me. Part of me also thinks I’m hurting so much more than you, there isn't fifteen minutes that goes in a day that I don't think of you....it makes me unbelievably angry.

I no you said you wouldn't have time but you could have made time if you had wanted to, sometimes I think you were too weak to just tell me you didn't love me anymore. I no that I was always asking you what was wrong but why didn't you just tell me? Part of me also thinks that you were very selfish, ending us once before two days before my final exams in June, I no it wasn't just you but I would have held us together for you if I had been in the same position. I don't think that you realise this. Also even after this I supported you during you A levels even when we weren't going out, I replied to your texts, tried to stop you worrying, was there for you. Then when you had done your exams I had surpassed my use, and you just went out with your friends, don’t get me wrong I have no problem with you seeing your friends….it’s healthy but its bloody selfish when you have been on at me whining about your exams and University to me for hours on end in the past weeks. I couldn’t make you happy anymore, you just kept me where you wanted me, there for when you were upset down, nothing better to do and your friends for everything else. I feel devastated and used by you, I tried to end it three weeks before you did, you cried and pleaded with me not to do it, I really thought you wanted me, then you stuck the knife in, after I thought we were ok after making love, please, please….someone help me comprehend this behaviour, I will never understand this, what was going through your head?

However after seeing you at the party after racing and learning that you had been with other people since me I realise I am no longer important to you, even though you say I am. The thought of you with other guys kills me, I feel like I'm being choked to death, I realise now you want everything; me to be there for you when you are feeling low and lonely and also have your fun. I'm sorry I see it this way even after more than two months, it has been the most testing and depressing few months of my life…you have no idea.

Equally I hope that you are happy, you should be, you have everything you wanted and all that you went on about during your exam period so just shut up and enjoy it. I hope one day I will be able to talk to you without feeling utterly devastated, heartbroken and angry, but I think it will be a while.

Platypus, I will never be so open and loving to anybody else because of this pain, you hurt me more than anything I could have imagined and more. Why? Why? Why?

Don't you dare ACTUALLY say this to her.

[Junket]

Don't you dare ACTUALLY say this to her.

I agree with this post.

[Junket]

I don't get it. Why is this posted on this thread? Do I need more coffee?

I have some cappuccino flavored milk...?

[beebee]

Leave her to think about it! This actually happened to me with my best friend, he was a guy and we were always together. One of the things i loved most about him was that he wasn't sleazy and I didn't think he was interested in me. He used to pull me out of bed in the morning when i was late for school.

Then i got a text message, I love you. My heart dropped...I felt betrayed I felt he pretended to be my friend all this time.

The truth is a girl wanta a guy she is attracted to, that also you can connect with.


I wasn't attarcted to my friend in the first place, I loved him as a person but that isn't always enough...you need some chemistry.

My question for you is, do you get any feeling she likes you?

My advice would be to stop calling, leave her to think about it....and i hate myself for saying this but seem uninterested for a while...or maybe even start spending time with another girl....get the green eyed monster interested....oops

keep us updated x