Unsure.

[blue toxin]

There's this girl I work with who I've had a thing for for a little bit now. Her and I have worked together for 2 years, however we rarely work "together". We normally would just end up talking on break... however she doesn't work that much (normally just every other weekend) because of the fact she's in college. She's an incredibly nice girl, very easy to talk to and connect with. Our values, beliefs, and hobbies are all nearly the same.

The other day we worked together was the first time I've seen her in a few months, and I decided I wanted to keep in contact with her a little easier so we began emailing one another. Well eventually I tossed in my cell number, and so did she. I called her last night. No answer. Today she called me back and we talked for nearly 2 hours. We had a great conversation, we were both laughing and it seemed pretty cool.

She suggested to me that sometime I need to get in touch with her about going for a hike, or getting the bikes out and going for a ride. At first I was like, excellent! She digs me! But a year ago, when her and I were talking on break at work, she discovered I was into outdoorsy stuff, and said the same thing then. And I know back then she was just being friendly, because back then I was in another relationship and she knew it.

I'm just torn in all different directions. Part of me says she's not into me, and she's just being friendly. Another part says no dude, she digs you. Another part says, ehh, she's not sure yet, she thinks she likes you but is on the fence and waiting to see what happens next.

So where's that leave me, what DOES happen next? I figured I'd continue emailing her and talking to her on and off throughout the week. Nothing clingy... just every now and then to see how her she's been, etc. Then eventually I figured I'd take her up on that offer, and sometime when it's not too bitterly cold her and I go for a little hike, or maybe a bike ride. Maybe do that a few times, see how things go. If things go smoothly, then ask her if she'd like to go out to dinner with me (I found out what her favorite restaurant was). Then, see where that takes us.

My goal is to make it evident to her that I'm interested without being pushy or clingy. I'm an independent guy, but sometimes I have a hard time reading what a female is thinking. I guess I'm just realizing I like her a lot and I'm really getting into her that I just don't want to find out that she's not interested in me. Like I said, she's a very nice person... so for all I know, maybe she's just being friendly. But then again, we were on the phone for nearly 2 hours, she suggested we hang out sometime, etc. Blah.

But like I said, I think deep down she'd give me a fair shot.

In fact, I don't even know what I'm asking here. I don't even know why I posted this. However it took me a while to type this so I'm not just going to exit out of it. Just tell me what you think, maybe you girls can help me out here and give me a feel for what she's thinking.

[dreamer101]

I figured I'd continue emailing her and talking to her on and off throughout the week. Nothing clingy... just every now and then to see how her she's been, etc. Then eventually I figured I'd take her up on that offer, and sometime when it's not too bitterly cold her and I go for a little hike, or maybe a bike ride. Maybe do that a few times, see how things go. If things go smoothly, then ask her if she'd like to go out to dinner with me (I found out what her favorite restaurant was). Then, see where that takes us.

Rubbish. Go have a few lunches together while you are at work. Get to know her better. Be flirty. That is not offically a date. Then ask her out. But I tend to tell the girl how I feel first and then ask her out.

[blue toxin]

That'll be hard. She works opposite weekends I do. And everything at work is slow now (it always is between Thanksgiving and Christmas). So the chances of me even seeing her at work are literally 0 for the next month. So we have to work outside of work.

Maybe bowling? Hopefully the weather will be nice and we could go for a hike. That'd be nice...

Any input on what you folks think is going on in her head? Women's minds work in crazy ways and sometimes I have a hard time following them...

[Ellynn]

Well a yr ago when you asked her to do something with you, she was aware you had a gf. So, that probably put her wanting to do something with you on the back burner. I mean whats the point of pursuing a guy if he is already taken? I know some girls do anyways, but most girls won't really even bother.

But, things are different now. You should definately make it a point to set something up now that you are single. The more you hang out together outside of work, the more you will be able to tell if she actually likes you like that or not.

Then you need to make your move.

[Junket]

Yeah, I say continue to make it obvious that you like 'er.

[blue toxin]

Yeah, her and I already kind of briefed ourselves of each other's previous relationship. She went out of state for 3 months for a school intern project, came back, and her bf who she had been dating for a few months broke it off when she got back, saying things just didn't feel the same. I felt kind of bad for her, because she said she was excited to see him and then, bam... but she's got the attitude that everything happens for a reason, and she realizes she was gone for a decent amount of time and it was still a relatively new relationship. But it's school, gotta do what you gotta do.

But she knows I'm single. I told her a little bit about my story after she told me all of that about her's. She said something that caught my eye. The one time she wrote to me in response: "That must be heartwrenching to be with someone that long and it just end like that, but you seem like a really cool guy and I'm sure it won't take long to find someone else." Hmm, is she referring to that someone else as her? Or is she just being nice, and truly has no interest in me? Now that you've got an answer in your head, maybe this will turn the table. She included a winky face right after "...find someone else ." Hint? Or just a very friendly uplifting message?

[Junket]

She included a winky face right after "...find someone else ." Hint? Or just a very friendly uplifting message?

That my friend, is the part you'll simply have to figure out for yourself.

[blue toxin]

As far as showing I'm interested without being a bug to her, how far should I go with that? Like, should I stick with emailing her once a day and maybe call her every 2-3 days to see how she's doing? Or what? Never been in this position before, actually...

[Junket]

As far as showing I'm interested without being a bug to her, how far should I go with that? Like, should I stick with emailing her once a day and maybe call her every 2-3 days to see how she's doing? Or what? Never been in this position before, actually...

I would say, in that kind of position (and I know how it is to be in that kind of position). Test her out by putting the ball in her court.

The next time you have a phone conversation or whatever, try cutting it short.

"Shit, hey, I just realized I have to go (do whatever). I really hate to cut this short but I gotta run. How about you call me (whenever) so we can finish this conversation up later?"

Y'know, somethin' like that. It invites her to take some initiative and gives you an idea as to how interested she is in you. Afterall, girls aren't always so bold in their pursuit for a guy. So leave the door open with a big ass welcome mat, y'know?

[Gigabitch]

I think you should gradually step it up, to show evidence of you increasing interest. Every few days for a while, then every other day, then go out with her, then call her every day because she'll be your girlfriend.

[Junket]

I think you should gradually step it up, to show evidence of you increasing interest. Every few days for a while, then every other day, then go out with her, then call her every day because she'll be your girlfriend.

You got it all figured out, huh?

[Gigabitch]

Yeah. PM me her e-mail address and I'll let her know what the plan is. Life would be so much simpler if everyone would just stick to MY PLAN.

[Ellynn]

Yeah. PM me her e-mail address and I'll let her know what the plan is. Life would be so much simpler if everyone would just stick to MY PLAN.

Yeah, I wish guys would just STICK to your plan. It would make life more easier.

[Junket]

What what??

What's this plan??

Is my plan not good enough?!

[blue toxin]

Well that's kind of what happened to me. I called her wednesday, and I got her voicemail. She didn't call me back that night. The next day she called me back, but I was on break at school so I could only talk for so long. I asked her then if I could call her back later, and she gave me a pretty enthusiastic "Yeah, sounds good!"

So, she did show initiative already... which is a good sign. But her personality is kind of different from anyone else's I've seen. She's just such a friendly person that... that's why I get confused, when it comes to determining whether she's showing interest or whether she's just being a friend. I'm starting to think she's a little closer to the showing interest side, however.

We'll see what happens. I guess I'll let a few days go by and call her every so often to see how she is, all while I keep throwing some emails at her every now and then. Then, we'll see if we can strike gold and get nice weather for a day for a hike or bike ride... then perhaps to dinner, just us two, and see how that goes.