How should this be handled?

[elm0]

So to keep it simple, recently I started developing feelings for this girl. However, the age difference between us is too great and she has told me that a relationship probably won't happen.

ok I accepted that and I'm in the process of moving on.

However this is where it's hard because almost everyday she would try to start a conversation with me and it ends up going nowhere. I understand she's trying to maintain a friendship with me but as for me I find it hard to "move on" due to this.

Should I just ignore her? or... any other suggestions?

[sazzya1987]

Maybe it would be best to tell her that you appreciate her being nice to you and develop a friendship with you, but if it is too hard for you to move on with your feelings then maybe it is best for you to have no connection with this girl for a while until you are able to move on.

[elm0]

problem is, She and I both take martial arts and I usually see her on friday nights which in turn means if i cut connection with her, i also have to quit martial arts which is something i love doing.

[Gigabitch]

It has to be Friday? What, the dojo's not open any other day?

[elm0]

it is but i don't go to the sunday classes nor saturday classes and i know she doesn't go to those either

[xwfuro]

in my opinion, if you have to maintain no contact to get over her youll have to do it.. I am that type of person i need time to get over someone i cant keep talking to them etc. Just let her know this and say you really want a friendship but not at this time.

[elm0]

yea i was leaning towards the no contact thing but she deserves an explanation :S now to break it to her but how without making it seem selfish lol although it is pretty selfish already

[King Zarathu]

Slap the bitch.

[Gigabitch]

it is but i don't go to the sunday classes nor saturday classes and i know she doesn't go to those either

Yes, elm0, sometimes NC requires a bit of effort. Are you looking for advice, or do you want us to argue with you so you can convince yourself to continue seeing her?

[Taranee]

yea i was leaning towards the no contact thing but she deserves an explanation :S now to break it to her but how without making it seem selfish lol although it is pretty selfish already

Eh... she deserves an explanation? WHAT? She is not your gf remember. She's just another human being training at the same dojo. Not only that she rejected you with a lame excuse. And now she feels sorry for being so "naughty". You don't have any explaining to do whatsoever. She obviously can't get over herself. You've got 3 options:

1. Like Zara girl said slap her! (highly recommended)
2. Beg her on your bare knees to please reconsider her fake feelings towards you.
3. Print out this complete topic and mail it to her.

What's it gonna be?

[vashti]

I don't think she has done anything wrong (based on what has been posted), but you don't owe her an explanation. Just start taking classes on another day. If you don't, I would see this the same way giga does - you are simply making excuses so you can continue seeing her.

What is your age difference?

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, listen to the Zara girl.

[vashti]

Yeah, listen to the Zara girl.

How did I ever miss the "Zara girl" part? hehehe

[elm0]

5 years difference.

Advice taken I guess I'll just go on another day.

now that i look at it it's true i don't owe her an explanation but somehow it doesn't feel right. Like, in a general sense I was her friend and all of a sudden i completely block her off; like would a decent friend even do that?
but I guess I'll have to deal with it

[vashti]

You aren't really her friend, though. You are a guy who was interested in being more than her friend.