Question about approaching girls

[enterprise]

I made an assumption that like today when i had a presentation to make in school that if i don't over thing, have negative thoughts or worry, everything ends up ok. In fact i didn't stutter once and didn't really shack.

Anyway, i connected that to girls. But i do over thinking i do think negatively and i do get tongue tied and my mind is like on 50% of normal power. I can't even approach the girl i like to just talk to her, like i would anyone else, i have a problem approaching girls in general but i can't with her.

I can't help but smile and be in la la land when i'm near her, i just can't think of what to say or do. Not to mention she isn't even how should i say, in my league, as far as looks and academics are concerned. my lowest mark about now i'd say is about 70-75. Hers is 85-90. She is gorgeous, or at lest i think so and her smile is great, she doesn't generally hang out with the group of people i do so i only see her in class.

Shes a fun person but i just can't do it. I can't convince myself no to be worried and shy. Any advice how to overcome this, atlest i could get to know her better if i could talk to her.

[Prodigal]

I had this problem of 'leagues' and such recently. I felt that some girl was 'out of my league', because I was pretty sure that she gets a lot of male attention and such. I resolved that if someone thinks they are out of someone else's league, then they don't deserve that person anyway. Thinking that you are too low for someone's league [which is what you say by saying she's out of your league' is just a way to lower your self-confidence and thus will lead you to inaction. And of course you'll think she's out of your league because she won't give you the light of day, which is because you think you won't get the light of day from her, and so you don't try! See what I mean? It's a vicious cycle. And you can stop it by thinking that people are not out of your league [and consequently, you are not out of other's leagues].

Just approach her like she is a normal girl. Don't let her intimidate you. Just talk to her... she is just another person. Once you become comfortable, then you can go from there.

[enterprise]

true but how do i do that not only do i have trouble talking to girls but making friends, i have multitudes, just about everyone knows who i am. But it takes action on there part cause i'm shy i'v never had to make a friend on my part it's always been mutual. Especially with a girl, what should i do?

[Zach]

You have to realize that every signle other person on this planet is just another person. They are simply people. Nothing more. Just because she is gorgeous or smart doesn't change the fact she is just another person going through life like you and I are. You have to realize who you are and be confident in who you are. Remember that she is not out of your league because there is are no leagues. If a person thinks they are too good for someone then they are arrogant. If someone thinks they are too low for someone, they have little self confidence. One way or another there is a problem, and to fix it you must trust yourself and remember everyone is equal. Stand tall and embrace yourself. When you conquer yourself you will be ready to embrace others. Good Luck.

[enterprise]

i'll try, i have a class with her at least once a day. thanks for the help i'll update you on if i do it and all that.

[Prodigal]

This makes it much easier if you have a class with her. That's because you can kinda lead in to conversation by asking something about the class or maybe making a comment from it. After that, then you can ease in to other things to get to know her. It's sort of a slow process at first, but after you introduce each other and stuff, it gets easier from there.

[enterprise]

i couldn't do it, i tried. I can't even ask for help about the 2 classes because me, her and her twin are at the top of the class. like the top.

part of it is that shes a girla nd party i'm shy. It's so hard to do.

[scr33n-raider]

lol you sound like me when I was 15! I am 22 now lol - I'm still a bit like, shy to go to a girl but then the second time I see the girl, I'll say something

Dude trust me, I've wasted so many opportunities with hot girls because I didn't do anything the "first" time I saw them.

Alot of times its happened where I see a hot girl in a party or something, but she is hot and I think - Shit and so I'm like **** it - then afterwards I say to a friend or someone "That chick was hot" - word goes around I said that then someone says to me "She thought you were cute but you didn't even talk to her so she thought you were arrogant or just boring"

You don't want to know how many times I've had people say that to me

Trust me man, I know it's hard, I'm a guy too lol but just do something! Anything to get her to notice you! Don't waste time because before you know, next time you see her, some other guy will be talking to her and by the time you come up with something to say to her, she'll have a b/f

It's happened alot to me - even I'm saying this and I admit even now sometimes I'm shy, but sometimes I'm relaxed and cool too but in school setting or class setting it is ideal man

Just go upto her and say Hey what's up, I noticed .... fill in the blank, like you must have noticed something about her way whatever, I noticed you have a nice ass, how did you get it so round etc etc but obviously something more related

Or even better - if you ever she her and she needs help with something or looks confused whatever, be the first to say, hey do you need any help - even if you don't know anything about whatever she needs help with, offer help lol

I think my advice is the best for you man - relax and even when you talk to her you'll probably be nervous and your blood pressure will go higher than normal but she might even find that cute

Do it man - it's always cool too when the other person is from a different "group" or whatever from you. You say she hangs out with a different crowd and she is one of the top students, thats even better man - opposites attract

[enterprise]

should this notice be a compliment like her pretty smile, it's just

?

[Varulfr]

Only advice I can give to this is to, role cliche sound effects (what of them there may unlikely be), be yourself.

Seriously.

Act the same way you do when you are talking to your buddies.


Think about it... the following is a list of what can happen;

1. She's not interested, blows you off. This would have happened no matter what you did, so who cares?

2. She likes you, but only because you acted in a way that is alien to your normal daily style and mannerism. Guess what, if you get serious she'll leave you once she figures out you're not who you say you are. Trust me when I warn you DO NOT DO THIS.

3. She likes you for who you are, you hit it off, you get married, have little kids with a doggie and a kitty and a little gold fish you name Harry because of a traumatizing situation you had with your uncle in the spring of '98.... sorry, getting ahead of myself.

Girls are perfectly capable of being goofs and foolish around boys too, so don't put her on a pedastal; she's human, just like you, remember that.

Good luck, mate!

[jurupa]

You have to realize that every signle other person on this planet is just another person. They are simply people. Nothing more. Just because she is gorgeous or smart doesn't change the fact she is just another person going through life like you and I are. You have to realize who you are and be confident in who you are. Remember that she is not out of your league because there is are no leagues. If a person thinks they are too good for someone then they are arrogant. If someone thinks they are too low for someone, they have little self confidence. One way or another there is a problem, and to fix it you must trust yourself and remember everyone is equal. Stand tall and embrace yourself. When you conquer yourself you will be ready to embrace others. Good Luck.

Even tho I agree with what you said, you forgot to include human nature into your thinking. Because human nature is to put things in classes and put value to them, especially when it comes to society. Why do you think there are social ladders and social classes in society?

Also to point something out as well. If you ever taken notice of couples you most likely notice that they tend to be on the same attractiveness level. Meaning that the likely hood of a girl that is very attractive going out with a average looking guy is very unlikely and basically impossible. Most of the time when you do see the hot girl with the average to the not so good looking guy it is because he has money and/or power. The likely hood of that hot girl going out with that guy for who he is is next to none.



enterprise - You have a pretty much prefect setup looking right at you for god sake. You say that she is in one of your classes and gets higher grades than you. Now why not ask her if you can study with her and/or help you in your studies. I am surprise you did not see that. Heck I would see that one a mile away. There is a reasonable chance that she would say yes and most probably take it as a complement that you find her smart and want to learn from her.