help with girl/friend

[intrepido]

Sit down and put your arm around her. If she leans in to you- kiss her. If she pulls away, don't. Simple.

Then play "When Jamie Smiles" for her.

j/k

Yes...that is simple

[Gigabitch]

Yes...that is simple

I am sure you'll do your best to complicate it considerably within the next 20 minutes, but I won't be here to see it. It's time to go home for the Giga.

[intrepido]

I am sure you'll do your best to complicate it considerably within the next 20 minutes, but I won't be here to see it. It's time to go home for the Giga.

no i wont! thanks giga

[intrepido]

I found out that the girl told our mutual friends at the office we worked at about the song I wrote for her and that she thought it was cute. I dont think the girl is interested in a relationship with anyone right now, at least for the most part. She says that all the guys at her school are silly and that she would die laughing if she got asked out. She treats me very well, the way she talks to me and compliments me. What I find also is that we have so much in common and one of the things I really like about her is that I can really be myself withouth feeling like Im "showing off" like my cousins say and whatnot. I always had the feeling that people were jealous of me for whatever reasons, my cousin tells me all the time that he actually was, now that were older and we get together for drinks every so often. This girl said something, I forget what, and I told her that shes good at a lot of things and that she reminds me of myself....knowing that is a relatively arrogant thing to say. Thing is I know Im not arrogant and I hate feeling like I have to not live to the fullest in certain ways or situations because people will resent me for it or be jealous. People in the office were jealous of this girl when she first started there, thats what it was when the girls shes friends with now told me that they didnt like her when she started, they were jealous cuz she has a self confidence about her. I have that same thing but for a while I consciously suppressed it so as not to push people away, but with her, she totally understands.

Ive been given every hint in the book I feel, from her. She loves tellng me how her mother and friends love me and that her mother and her where tryin to figure out a way to describe me and what they came up with was tall dark handsome and funny. Her best friend told me that "Im dreamy," also that "Im awesome at life." Now I dont know what the hell all thats supposed to mean necessarily, I dont want to sound on here like Im being arrogant, Im just relaying the things that seem like obvious compliments and or hints that the girl really respects and likes me. Theres so many things we have in common but I feel like all of them can be boiled down into just one thing, that I can not as of yet find a suitable term to describe. But whatever that one thing is we both share it. I was told by a few friends, one of whom is mutual friends of mine and hers, to just go with the flow. That is what I planned on doing anyway and I think since all these other things have happened going with the flow will lead to something between us.

Im a very rational person too. Ive thought of the possibility that I am just imagining that she feels the same way about me and have concluded that I really do feel that she does feel that way about me. I dont hope or expect anything from her but for her to have the best life and if she finds someone that can give her that, sees her for all of her wonderful qualities and love her with all their heart then I would be really happy for her. Shes only 20 years old, and Im 23 so we are both still very young, its just exciting to actually have met someone that is so amazing. Im very picky and she checks all the boxes and then some.

[intrepido]

I found out that the girl told our mutual friends at the office we worked at about the song I wrote for her and that she thought it was cute. I dont think the girl is interested in a relationship with anyone right now, at least for the most part. She says that all the guys at her school are silly and that she would die laughing if she got asked out. She treats me very well, the way she talks to me and compliments me. What I find also is that we have so much in common and one of the things I really like about her is that I can really be myself withouth feeling like Im "showing off" like my cousins say and whatnot. I always had the feeling that people were jealous of me for whatever reasons, my cousin tells me all the time that he actually was, now that were older and we get together for drinks every so often. This girl said something, I forget what, and I told her that shes good at a lot of things and that she reminds me of myself....knowing that is a relatively arrogant thing to say. Thing is I know Im not arrogant and I hate feeling like I have to not live to the fullest in certain ways or situations because people will resent me for it or be jealous. People in the office were jealous of this girl when she first started there, thats what it was when the girls shes friends with now told me that they didnt like her when she started, they were jealous cuz she has a self confidence about her. I have that same thing but for a while I consciously suppressed it so as not to push people away, but with her, she totally understands.

Ive been given every hint in the book I feel, from her. She loves tellng me how her mother and friends love me and that her mother and her where tryin to figure out a way to describe me and what they came up with was tall dark handsome and funny. Her best friend told me that "Im dreamy," also that "Im awesome at life." Now I dont know what the hell all thats supposed to mean necessarily, I dont want to sound on here like Im being arrogant, Im just relaying the things that seem like obvious compliments and or hints that the girl really respects and likes me. Theres so many things we have in common but I feel like all of them can be boiled down into just one thing, that I can not as of yet find a suitable term to describe. But whatever that one thing is we both share it. I was told by a few friends, one of whom is mutual friends of mine and hers, to just go with the flow. That is what I planned on doing anyway and I think since all these other things have happened going with the flow will lead to something between us.

Im a very rational person too. Ive thought of the possibility that I am just imagining that she feels the same way about me and have concluded that I really do feel that she does feel that way about me. I dont hope or expect anything from her but for her to have the best life and if she finds someone that can give her that, sees her for all of her wonderful qualities and love her with all their heart then I would be really happy for her. Shes only 20 years old, and Im 23 so we are both still very young, its just exciting to actually have met someone that is so amazing. Im very picky and she checks all the boxes and then some.

Basically I cant decide whether I did the right thing by not kissing her and wonder if she will understand now if I do try and kiss her on my own....We never spoke about that night, nor about the song or anything really along those lines....ah this is driving me nuts, I think I made the right move that night and showed her that I really like her as a person and not just a beautiful girl so Im probably just thinkin too much as usual... I guess the balls in my court as far as furthering any sort of physical relationship between us...Ill just play it by ear.

I feel that she was waiting around for a while for me to make a move on her, but thats not really my way, especially if I really respect someone. I guess all of those hints were just that.

[Gigabitch]

So, you talked yourself out of it again, huh?

Hmmmmmmm.......

[intrepido]

So, you talked yourself out of it again, huh?

Hmmmmmmm.......

Itd be easier if she was around...shes at school until the winter time so I am stuck thinkin about all this Ill see her a few times at least when she gets back so Ill have more than one opportunity to do something about all this.

We talk on the phone and the internet once in a while but I dont want to say anything over the phone, it has to be an action on my part this time.

[Gigabitch]

Yes, some action might be a good idea.

[intrepido]

Yes, some action might be a good idea.

So I asked my sister about the situation and she said well she obviously likes you and doesnt want to get in a relationship because she is away at school.

Which is what I thought all along, this will be a great love story

[intrepido]

I have sort of a new development....the girl instant messaged me the other day and her message had something about her friend cheering her up so I asked why she was upset. She didnt want to tell me, said it was some stupid girl problem but eventually told me about how she sent some pictures of her from halloween in her costume to this boy from home and he said that she only looked aight in them. She looked amazing first of all. This guy and her have been hooking up every so often since high school, now shes a sophomore in college and she said that she always had the "upper hand," which she liked. Then she told me that she wanted to prove something. I aksed her what and she said that she wanted to prove that she could make him fall for her and so she told him how she felt, which seemed like an extension of them hooking up for so long and she wanted to have it mean more. She said that after that, he basically got the upper hand, Im guessing that he didnt have much to say back to her (probably enjoys hookin up with her and not much more). The guy basically now blows her off whenever he feels like it cuz he knows that she is trying to prove something.

NOW...I ask you this....she didnt offer this information freely, I wanted to know why she was upset because I dont like knowing that shes upset about anything, and she offered it up, and not right away also. I bet if I didnt continue to ask she wouldnt have said anything about her guy troubles. So Im flirting with this friend zone crap, and later on that week I left her a cute message with this inside joke we have that compared her to sunsets and breezy autumn days and she responded back later that "im succccchhhhhhh a good friend and that i cheer her up sooooooo much" This was after we had talked in between and she kept thanking me for talkin to her about it and everything.

I still arrive at the same kind of problem where I dont know if I want to try anything with her because I love her as a friend, and I think she may actually love me too, she certainly talks and acts like she does. The main thing Im afraid of is that shell think that Ive been trying to take advantage of her, being her friend to get close to her which is not the case at all. I bet that guys have done that to her in the past. My saving grace for her trusting me is that, well she really should be able to trust me and mostly that I wrote her that song early on in our relationship so she must know or at least suspect that I like her as well, even though the song was about her as an amazing person and about us keeping in touch and watching out for her.

What do you guys think I should do? tell her about the song? and what it meant? or might that edge me further towards the friends only zone? I mean, I feel that we could have had something right away with the way she would look at me and touch me etc but it would have probably of been short lived cuz we wouldnt have already been friends. Its also not like we just became friends through continual contact, we were friends right away pretty much, because were a lot alike. Its like I love her, I think shes the greatest person alive, but I also cant help thinkin shes also the most beautiful girl Ive ever seen. Beauty is also in the eye of the beholder but for me shes it. I havent always taken advantage of situations, Ill sit back and wait for perfect moments but shes given me so many signs that seem like shes really into me. Anyway, what do you think?

Thanks!

[Gigabitch]

Oh, you already know what I think. I think you think too much.

Kiss the girl. Confess it all. Take a risk. Exhilirate yourself.

[intrepido]

Oh, you already know what I think. I think you think too much.

Kiss the girl. Confess it all. Take a risk. Exhilirate yourself.

Giga- I rememberd what you said about the dreaded "third eye kiss" on the forehead, and that the girl may think, oh no, he thinks Im his sister afterwards. Well, I thnk thats what Ive successfully accomplished here but its good to know that she does probably like me, at least as far as all signs tell.

I think in the very beginning she wanted me and was giving me these looks and bumping into me but since I didnt act on it she stepped off. Why is it that girls do that? They want a guy to just pick them up? when they dont really know much about them? sounds wrong but anyway shes coming home again this weekend and told me she wants to see me again.

Could that have been what happened though? since I didnt just take to her right away, even though I felt very strongly for her after knowing her for only a few minutes, could she have just thought that I didnt like her and not to waste her time? I dunno, she seems to waste her time with other guys that she doesnt really like, because she wants them to like her, and fall for her. She actually said that once that she wanted to prove something that she could make this guy fall for her and shes said that she doesnt like it when someone doesnt like her, she meant all people there but still.

So my main question is that, hes just not that into you thing, that book I read about. I know we would be amazing together, and she probably does too so Im gonna step it up soon enough.

Thanks all

[intrepido]

so the girl told me that this guy she had seen on and off for a while is outta the picture. She was upset one day, I asked her why and she was hesitant to say but she finally said that this guy wouldnt tell her that she looked good in some pictures and that he blows her off etc. Basically she said that they were hooking up for a while, she wanted more and he didnt pretty much and she was tryin to save face.

Now, she tells me a week or two later that "Rememeber that boy I told you about from home? I havent spoken to him in 2 weeks, ever since our conversation. I just thought you would be proud of me."

She also called me after midnight during one weekday last week to just tell me that the main character in a book she was reading dies at the end and she was upset she felt like I was the only one she could talk to about it. She wasnt really upset obviously.

I just dont know if she is giving me clues that she wants to take this to the next level anymore. Things have gotten so complicated that I cant tell or make anything out. She told me once when I was tellin her about a friend of mine and how he wanted me to introduce him to a girl I knew that it was the guys job to approach the girl etc. Now from that statement it would seem that she always expects the guy to make the moves, especially in the beginning. How would you interpret that? Things have gotten so confusing but maybe she is waitin for me to make a strong move?

[Gigabitch]

Things have gotten so confusing but maybe she is waitin for me to make a strong move?

Oh, for God's sake, we're ALL waiting for that. Would you please make a move? Every time you bump this thread, I think you're gonna say, "I kissed her! She loves me!"

Hurry up, already. Life is short.

[intrepido]

Oh, for God's sake, we're ALL waiting for that. Would you please make a move? Every time you bump this thread, I think you're gonna say, "I kissed her! She loves me!"

Hurry up, already. Life is short.

So I guess she has a boyfriend now, some little kid who knows...I blew it big time- I just saw that she is in a relationship on an online college network page so she doesnt know that I know? I guess....ah I suppose I should still try and do something when she comes home but she probably will not be receptive, who knows though.

Faint heart never won fair lady though so I should really do something about this. I sort of think that what I originally feared with this girl is true, that she goes after guys for poor reasons and they usually wind up messing with her, she has even said that that is a fact and that her mother does the same thing. I sort of felt that also she wasnt all that terribly attracted to me because she knows I would take care of her and that Id probably be good somewhere down the line, like Ive been told before but for now its time for these girls to shake their stuff for some douchebags.

Any advice on how I should approach this? Im going to play it like I dont know she has this boyfriend, we should be together, we would be great together. Im sick of easy girls and short term things Id like to see where we could go together.