I need help... sigh T_T

[wrecked]

Me and my girl dated for about 6 months or so and we were very into each other at first even though we came from different spectrums of the world. Initially I thought it was our difference that attracted us to each other so as the saying goes "opposite attracts" but as time passes by, I realized the very same thing that attracted me to her, is beginning to distant myself from her.

I couldn't communicate with her because we're simply too different. We argue over the simplest of things and I find the both of us compromising way too often.

And so I decided that its time to end it before the relationship turns really sour. But after announcing my decision she burst into tears and started to lose control asking,

"But why??"

I told her a multitude of reasons but most importantly its because I couldn't see where the relationship is heading. If I continue to give in to her I might just lose myself in the struggle and I don't want that.

However she was very persistent and she is willing to do anything, to sacrifice anything to make things work which really isn't what I want. I want to be able to love her for who she is without having her to make such a huge compromise just for my sake. I feel like I don't deserve it...

I'm overwhelemd with guilt right now that I don't know what to do.

To stay with her is to continue lying to her and killing her slowly and silently. But to leave her now would fill me with so much guilt I just can't look myself in the mirror no more.

Please... I need a second opinion. And be honest.

[xwfuro]

dont lead her on, if your done with the relationship break it off now, if not i can call you an asshole for the rest of your life/

[Julia.Julia]

if you think, staying with her will harm her in some ways, try to leave her...i know its very difficult but if you guys have reached the point that makes you argue about simple things,im afraid i have to say u need to leave her...cause staying in such a relationship makes everything worse...so my suggestion is that if you cant improve the relationship its better to call it off...

[vashti]

You first responsibility is to yourself, and if you aren't happy, then you need to break it off. After that point, you aren't responsible for her feelings. That is what breaking up is all about. Be gentle, but firm. Don't stand around while she cries for extended periods of time, or you will be allowing yourself to be manipulated.

[TDurden]

^ What they said. You need to end it even if it does upset her. The relationship very clearly can't last.

Also that whole opposites attract thing is bullshit. It doesn't account for the fact that once that initial attraction fades you are left with two people with nothing in common. You probably don't need me to tell you this, but just in case, DON'T EVER DATE SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T SHARE A GOOD AMOUNT OF YOUR FEELINGS AND INTERESTS

[wrecked]

thanks... I think I know what to do. Its just so damn hard...

[Mathias]

You first responsibility is to yourself, and if you aren't happy, then you need to break it off. After that point, you aren't responsible for her feelings. That is what breaking up is all about.

This chick knows stuff.

Seriously, people are incredibly selfish...until they break off relationships.

Odd.

[NeoSeminole]

vashti only seems "knowledgable" b/c I taught her.

[vashti]

No, I learned in the school of hard knocks. Nothing beats experience as a teacher.

[wrecked]

Nows she's crying... begging for me to take her back. I told her in a nice way that we're simple too different and it would be best if we just remained as friends but apparently that don't work. I get so many phone calls from her friends and family asking me questions like, "how could you be such a jackass??" and I feel like the world is crashing on top of me.

Everybody thinks I'm the the bad guy when all I'm trying to do is to save her from falling any deeper. I know its my fault to begin with but why do I have to take this kinda punishment???

ARGHhhhhhhHHhhH...

[NeoSeminole]

simple - you don't. You have every right to break up with a girl whom you don't see a future with. Don't put up with her friends and family calling you a jackass. Stand up for yourself man. You didn't do anything wrong. Your ex is acting very immature and making you look like the bad guy so people will think something is wrong with you instead of her. Don't tolerate this bullshit. I would definately stand up for myself.

[vashti]

Is there more to this story than what you are telling? Because I find it very odd that her friends and family would go out of their way to contact you about this. It is so much easier just to talk smack behind your back...

[wrecked]

there isn't any story left untold. Besides some smooches, I don't think I've violated her in any way. We're both still virgins that I'm sure. I don't believe in premarital sex.

However she's a very sheltered girl, thus whenever she gets into trouble her parents came would come looking for me which I found to be highly inappropriate and uncomfortable for me. To her, our relationship is more like an affair of the entire family. Her mother especially will protect her at all costs giving me unsolicited advice everytime we argue.... -_- As for her friends, well I don't know. They just drop me messages questioning my actions and motives. They all think I'm cheating on her which I'm not!!

[vashti]

How old are you guys?

[wrecked]

I'm 20 and she's 19...