She says she looks at me as a big brother.... Ouch

[BlueRaven]

Some of you have been following my situation via another thread. For those that haven't I'll give a brief discription.

I met this girl, who's 15, about 2 1/2 weeks ago. She is a friend of my younger brothers, and has been for a year or two, but for whatever reason I had never met her until then. At one point, they had romantic interest in one another. However, neither of them acted on it and now both have moved on. Her and I really hit it off. We've known each other something like 19 days, and have talked or been with each other (through groups) in all but 2 or 3 of them. I feel myself gradually falling for her, and until tonight, was planning on asking her out within the next week or two.

Now to the problem. This past weekend we both realized that there was a high amount of talk going on behind our backs, through mutual friends, regarding our perceived "status". Tonight we talked about it, and obviously that left us to determine what our status actually was. That's when she made a comment that stung a bit. I had sent her a text message saying how we really think alike, but at this point I still look at us as friends. She responded with this, "Haha... we really do. I mean you are a great guy but for now a big brother type of great guy." Ouch...

I'm not one to get discouraged easily and this certainly won't do it. However, it definitely puts a bit of a slow down into effect on my plans for taking our relationship further. Obviously, I'm a few years older than her and that makes it easier for her to have that perception, or at least claim to have it. Really, I have never for one moment looked at her as a younger sister. From the night I met her I have thought that she is definitely as mature as I am. She knows I feel that way about her, because I've told her so.

Now I'm curious to know how everyone thinks I should proceed here. From my interpretation of that comment, she perceives me to be someone she'd be interested in a little down the road. I feel ready for a relationship with her now, but obviously if she doesn't then I'm stuck. Then again maybe I'm putting too much stock in one comment and should be putting more emphasis on our interactions face-to-face. Thoughts, please.

[Gigabitch]

My first thought is that you need to change the direction this is heading NOW, before you find yourself a permanent resident of the dreaded Friend Zone. Now is not the time to try to figure out what she's thinking, it's time to tell her what's on your mind. I'm not suggesting you do something over-the-top or uncharacteristically romantic, but she may have said that to see what you thought of it.

When did this happen? Was it minutes ago or hours ago?

[Mathias]

Go buy a ring and propose to her...NOW.

Chicks dig that.

[BlueRaven]

My first thought is that you need to change the direction this is heading NOW, before you find yourself a permanent resident of the dreaded Friend Zone. Now is not the time to try to figure out what she's thinking, it's time to tell her what's on your mind. I'm not suggesting you do something over-the-top or uncharacteristically romantic, but she may have said that to see what you thought of it.

When did this happen? Was it minutes ago or hours ago?

I was thinking along the same lines as that, while it was occuring. That this was quite possibly a test of some kind on her part, to get me to reveal my feelings first. Well I wasn't about to do that through a damn text message. It isn't my style, and quite frankly is lame. I'd much rather tell her face to face. You're probably right. She may have just called me out, and now I'm almost forced to tell her exactly how I feel. Which in the long run could be a good thing.

This happened about an hour and a half ago. Around 10pm EST, to be exact.

[Gigabitch]

This happened about an hour and a half ago. Around 10pm EST, to be exact.

Did you reply yet?

[vashti]

Did you ever ask your brother how he feels about you dating this girl? I may have told you before I think you should be REALLY careful about that.

If you are a few years older than she is, that means you are legally and adult, while she is not. BAD idea.

If she sees you as the "big brother" type, that probably isn't good.

[BlueRaven]

Did you reply yet?

Yes, we said goodnight about 15 minutes ago as well.

[Mathias]

*waits impatiently*

[Mathias]

Yes, we said goodnight about 15 minutes ago as well.

Bah. Without telling her? Yikes.

[Gigabitch]

Did you ever ask your brother how he feels about you dating this girl? I may have told you before I think you should be REALLY careful about that.

If you are a few years older than she is, that means you are legally and adult, while she is not. BAD idea.

If she sees you as the "big brother" type, that probably isn't good.

I thought he was 17. Now I think I've got that wrong. How much older are you, BR?

[BlueRaven]

Did you ever ask your brother how he feels about you dating this girl? I may have told you before I think you should be REALLY careful about that.

If you are a few years older than she is, that means you are legally and adult, while she is not. BAD idea.

If she sees you as the "big brother" type, that probably isn't good.

Yes, I did talk to my brother about it. He said, "I don't care". I don't think he could have really made it any more clear than that, he's over her.

The adult thing is only a bad idea if she and her parents perceive it to be. I know her well enough by now to say with full confidence that she won't be wanting to do anything sexual anytime soon, and I bet not even until marriage. She's just that type of girl.

[Mathias]

Whoa, dude...how old are you?

[BlueRaven]

Bah. Without telling her? Yikes.

Like I said, I'm not doing it in a damn text message, period.

I thought he was 17. Now I think I've got that wrong. How much older are you, BR?

I'm 18. I think it's in my user profile, is it not?

[Gigabitch]

I'm 18. I think it's in my user profile, is it not?

I think my user profile should mention I'm really damn lazy. I didn't even think to check yours.

Anyway, when are you seeing her next?

[BlueRaven]

I think my user profile should mention I'm really damn lazy. I didn't even think to check yours.

Anyway, when are you seeing her next?

Well, most people don't have any information in them to begin with. So I can't blame you there.

I'll be seeing her again Friday night.