My parents

[Morutea]

Hello all,

It is my first post

I want your thoughts on this:
Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now?


(Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work)


Thanks.

[Tiay]

look at it this way: if you had grown-up kids, and you were in financial trouble, would you expect them to help you out if they were in a position to do so? yes, right?

[vashti]

It depends. Are your parents behaving irresponsibly, or are they just going through a rough time? Are they fully lucid or suffering from dementia?

I generally believe grown children have a responsibility to make sure their parents don't end up on the streets. How they go about that depends on individual circumstances.

[Kiechi]

1 way stop to OAPville.

[Junket]

If your parents are anything like my mother, then no, you don't owe them shit.

[vashti]

Yes, I definitely understand that sentiment Frasbee, but if everyone who had a difficult relationship with their parents decided to abandon them when they are elderly, our social system would be overwhelmed. As it is, it is already overburdened.

I DO think we are responsible, and it grieves me to say so because I can't stand my mother, and I have plenty of very legitimate reasons for hating her. I could never allow her to live with me, and collectively my siblings and I have decided that should it become necessary, we will all cough up money to keep her out of our homes.

[King Zarathu]

**** no, dude.

You don't owe your parents anything just because they took care of you when you were a kid. They ****ed, they had a kid, and they signed an 18-year contract for the job. The job includes feeding you, clothing you, providing a shelter for you, etc.

There is no reason for you to let them bullshit you into thinking you "owe" them anything. If they signed up for the job, they shouldn't be bitching.

[vashti]

**** no, dude.

You don't owe your parents anything just because they took care of you when you were a kid. They ****ed, they had a kid, and they signed an 18-year contract for the job. The job includes feeding you, clothing you, providing a shelter for you, etc.

There is no reason for you to let them bullshit you into thinking you "owe" them anything. If they signed up for the job, they shouldn't be bitching.

Wow, you are harsh.

[King Zarathu]

This doesn't mean I discourage doing chores and everything, but I completely disagree with parents guilt-tripping theirs kids with, "omfg lol i took care of u 4 liek 18 yrs. so invite me 4 dinner lol."



I do, however, think that doing chores is a necessity. It not only gives you self-discipline, but it really teaches you how to take care of yourself. Though they're simple things that can be considered "common knowledge," I think that if kids never do chores at home, it will be bad for them later on.

[vashti]

This doesn't mean I discourage doing chores and everything, but I completely disagree with parents guilt-tripping theirs kids with, "omfg lol i took care of u 4 liek 18 yrs. so invite me 4 dinner lol."

You are assuming these parents are trying t make the original poster feel guilty; unless that has been stated, I didn't want to jump to that conclusion.

[King Zarathu]

You are assuming these parents are trying t make the original poster feel guilty; unless that has been stated, I didn't want to jump to that conclusion.

Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now?

^ Result of guilt. Even though it could be the OP doing it on their own, it's still guilt that shouldn't exist.

[TDurden]

I think it depends on if they were good parents. I don't think it's an automatic,but if they were always very supportive and kind and then had a turn of luck for the worse, then yes, I think the least one could do is help them out.

[Gigabitch]

Pay their electricity bill if they can't do it? Yes. Pay off their cash-advance on their credit card so they could go to the casino? No.

When your parents were raising you and paying for everything, they also called all of the shots. They determined where the money was being spent. if your parents are at the point where they need someone to step in and take care of them, they should relinquish that control as well.