friends with benefits...

[PandaCivic]

is this healthy? to have one at all? does this cause a person to halt the relationship path? should this be considered a relationship at all? i'm bored at work so i'm posting like crazy today.

[sfalexi]

I think we had something like this a while ago (before you came here) Do a search for answers there too.

For me, I think it can be healthy. But the ONE thing that you REALLY have to be careful of is one or the other developing feelings. What happens when she gets a boyfriend and stops fooling around with you? You gonna get jealous or just understand that now it's time to stop? What happens when you want her more and more and want a relatoinship but she just wants some fun? How you gonna handle being that attached to her while you know she doesn't feel that for you?

Alexi

[dragoon]

I dont understand how it can possibly be healthy. At least, it could never be for me. The "benefits" have feelings associated with them. I couldn't imagine being physical with someone I don't have feelings for.

[PandaCivic]

well feelings are pretty much there no matter what. it just depends on what you do with them. an ya, i can't be physical with a girl if there are no feelings involved. but sometimes i just need someone to hold and that "friend" does that. but relationship wise, it's not there becuase there's no love. but it's a temporary feeling which is why i would think bennies are healthy for the sake of sanity.

[BillyGalbreath]

damn. maybe i need a bennie then - lol - its not the sex, but i feel as though i am loosing my mind not being able to hold someone

[sfalexi]

And cause sex is fun and stress reducing. YOU may always have feelings. But others may be able to put them aside for the sake of sex (think about all the people that get one-night stands). There's no loving feelings there. It'd just be like a bootycall, but one that you also hang out with every now and then.

Alexi

[PandaCivic]

damn. maybe i need a bennie then - lol - its not the sex, but i feel as though i am loosing my mind not being able to hold someone

exactly what i'm saying! sometimes i just want someone to hold, hence i want a relationship, but then other times i get bored of it so i want out. i know that's thinking childish but sometimes a person's wants get to be boring and i still have to find that one person i can get bored of and still be in love with.

[BillyGalbreath]

i dont get bored in relationships - and if I ever did it would not effect me staying with that person or not - i got bored in a relationship once and left for another girl that was 'more fun' to be around... two years later I realized that 'more fun' is not always the best. now it is too late for me - i have realized what I want in a woman. And it is very rare to find a woman like that. I have met only 2 in my life - i was with 1 - the woman I left...
Now I am having to learn to move on - it hurts like hell - everyday I break down into tears at least once - Being single is the hardest thing I have ever gone thru in my whole life... People have told me it was the best times of their lives - but **** man - its the worst for me - Every since I was in kindergarten I had a g/f - the longest I ever went without a g/f was maybe 2 or 3 days. Now I sit here going on 2 months, tomorrow (4/20) and I am loosing my ****ing mind - my poetry has gotten sick and twisted (thats why i post no more poems on this site) - I cry everyday - I hardly eat - I hardly sleep - I think constantly
I admit my life has never been better - I am almost on my feet completely (i expect 2 or 3 more months and I will move out of my dads again - this time by myself) - but i feel worse than ever because I am alone.
For as long as I can remember, being alone has always been my #1 worst fear ever - I feared it more than death - now I am living my worst fear...
Damn it - I am blabbering now - I will shut up