Well, doesn't look like it's going to work...

[Mathias]

For those who don't know the story, she moved, and is having a hard time with all the new experiences, and keeping me in mind at the same time. I was going to move there in 8 months, but the way it's working now, that's obviously not going to happen.

It's a four year relationship, and I know it's going to be tough--but what's the best way to work this out in my own head? It's not over yet, but all the signs are there. What's the most effective way to move on?

I graduate with my master's degree in 8 months, so I'll be able to move and make a new life for myself, which will help. What should I do in the meantime?

[Gigabitch]

Sorry to hear it.

My advice: Commit to being by yourself for eight months. I had this situation once- six months until graduation and my bf moved away. I dated very casually and just spent a lot of time and energy on myself for once, and I now remember that time as being really golden. I took care of myself like I had always wanted to be taken care of, ran two miles a day, got great grades, bought a motorcycle and rode it all around.

Just a thought. Hope you don't get too lonely.

[vashti]

Aww, I'm sorry to hear this. Those long-distance relationships are VERY tough to negotiate, and this is especially true during university years.

Look, if things are meant to end, they WILL end, and there is no way to do it without experiencing pain. I think it is best to try to learn what you can from this relationship so you can be ready for your next one. Don't dive into another relationship right away, and keep yourself busy. Your studies should help to fill your time, and maybe you can pick up an apprenticeship if you need more.

Good luck.

[Mathias]

Sorry to hear it.

My advice: Commit to being by yourself for eight months. I had this situation once- six months until graduation and my bf moved away. I dated very casually and just spent a lot of time and energy on myself for once, and I now remember that time as being really golden. I took care of myself like I had always wanted to be taken care of, ran two miles a day, got great grades, bought a motorcycle and rode it all around.

Just a thought. Hope you don't get too lonely.

Yeah, that's the plan. I'm not going to jump into a relationship, and that's very good advice.

I just started working out again 2 weeks go, and am already down 5 pounds out of a total of 15 I need to lose, and am getting a lot toner. That's something I'd REALLY like to do for myself, and that'll help.

Thanks for the sympathy, it's appreciated. I don't think I'll break down and go into a hole or anything--which is good news.

Thanks for the advice, again.

[SonyGamer1987]

Dam, Sorry to hear about the breakup. Good thing your not taking it hard though. I cant imagine what Kinda pain that could put on someone. I don't know what I would do I me and My girl split. I love her with so much. She's not just a girl to me. We have made so many plans for the future. Knowing this happen to you worries m,e a little about what might happen to me. I hope I make it though. We just started this "Long distance" thing though. We still got at least 3 years left. But we get to see each other every holiday, and vacation she gets. Which makes it easier on us. Plus when summer comes, I will be with her for 2 months again, then back off to school. Well, good luck to your future. Hope mine goes as planed.

[Mathias]

Dam, Sorry to hear about the breakup. Good thing your not taking it hard though. I cant imagine what Kinda pain that could put on someone. I don't know what I would do I me and My girl split. I love her with so much. She's not just a girl to me. We have made so many plans for the future. Knowing this happen to you worries m,e a little about what might happen to me. I hope I make it though. We just started this "Long distance" thing though. We still got at least 3 years left. But we get to see each other every holiday, and vacation she gets. Which makes it easier on us. Plus when summer comes, I will be with her for 2 months again, then back off to school. Well, good luck to your future. Hope mine goes as planed.

I hope it does too.

Every relationship is different. I never thought this would happen either, but it did. But, you can't look at yours and start worrying...you'll be fine, if that's what's supposed to happen.

[Tiay]

aw, I'm sorry to hear that Mathias.
I'm a bit confused. You say you wont be moving to her after you get your degree-- yet you also say 'it's not over yet'. Wouldn't the first step of moving on be actually ending it? That is, if you can clearly see that it's not working, don't drag it out. And I agree with Giga; concentrate on yourself.

[Mathias]

aw, I'm sorry to hear that Mathias.
I'm a bit confused. You say you wont be moving to her after you get your degree-- yet you also say 'it's not over yet'. Wouldn't the first step of moving on be actually ending it? That is, if you can clearly see that it's not working, don't drag it out. And I agree with Giga; concentrate on yourself.

Well, she has until Monday. She says she's "confused" with her life, and doesn't know what she wants.

I've heard it before, and I pretty much know it's over. We'll see. But, like I said, I'm pretty sure that it is.

[vashti]

Mathias, have you been having problems before this event?

[Mathias]

Mathias, have you been having problems before this event?

No.

She just moved about 3 weeks ago.

[vashti]

Things were fine until three weeks ago? Maybe she is just adjusting to living away, and she is adapting to the stress. Is it possible you are overreacting by thinking things are over?

[Mathias]

Things were fine until three weeks ago? Maybe she is just adjusting to living away, and she is adapting to the stress. Is it possible you are overreacting by thinking things are over?

Possibly, but who knows.

Part of me hopes that they're not, but I'm conflicted as well.

[vashti]

Why are you conflicted? Do you WANT things to be over?

[Mathias]

Why are you conflicted? Do you WANT things to be over?

I'm not sure. I don't think I do, but there's a part of me that's really upset from being put through all this, to the point where I'm thinking about it.

[Mathias]

Okay, update:

Turns out she lied when she said there was no specific guy. There was. They flirted, and he even took her to a movie, which she insists she didn't know was a date (she paid for her own ticket, after refusing his offer to pay). She says that he should know she has a boyfriend, because the girls at work have said so in front of him.

Tonight, she says she wants to stay, but cried and cried, and admitted that she wasn't sure. It seems she's leaning toward staying, but right now, I just want to let go--because I don't deserve to be put through any of this, and the fact that she lied to me was icing on the cake.

I asked for another day to think about it. Am I right here, or is there something I'm missing?