Hey, as you some of you may know, I have made a few topics about my girlfriend in the past. One of them being about how I just didn't find my girlfriend attractive anymore and another about her complaining about some old friend of hers talking to me.
Also guys, please bare with me till the end.
I have complained about her. but I dunno. I just love her alot for some reason. But the problem is, I really don't find her attractive at all and this is really effecting my affection towards her. I mean, sometimes I think..."God, I can do much better than this"
and my younger brother has someone more attractive than me. I know, I sound like a jerk and Im sorry. But this is just me and I think IMO looks counts alot also. And even than, her personality is...different. She can be sweet sometimes. But she still has some growing up to do.
Now some of you may already be thinking "Alright, than why the hell did you get into a relationship with someone you didn't find attractive"
Well, to be honest. I saw potential in her. I thought just maybe in a few Months she would get better somehow. Also, I have always had a hard time getting a girlfriend. Always. So I thought " Hey, this girl really seems to like me and I rarely ever get that, why not give it a shot you know?"
So thats what I did. I went for it to see if this would plan out. She has improved personality wise. But still, I just didn't find her really attractive. I have posted her pics a little while back, but I took those down because I realize what I did was wrong.
But, there is something about her.......we..somehow have this special bond. We have talked ALOT in the past 6 Months and for some reason. I just can't bring myself up to just tell her " Im sorry this ain't going to work out " I dunno why. Sometimes I just want to say something to her. I do....love her. But I think I can find someone more suited for me and I think she can find someone more suited for her. She just doesn't know yet because she loves me alot.
I get upset thinking about it. Thinking about being seperated from her because I KNOW I would miss her if I were to break up with her. I would feel soooo bad. and I might regret it later on and realize I was just being a stupid selfish jerk.
and I had this dream where she dumped me and I was SOOO upset and I actually missed it.
So I just don't know right now. I mean, I want to end it with her but at the same time I don't want to end it..
Its like I have 2 sides fighting. 1 fighting for "ending it with her" and the other side fighting for "Not breaking up with her"
I need professional help on this one guys....*sigh*