Long and Pointless

[tournesol]

So hello. Okay so im basically gonna talk about nothing that you guys are interested in but I just want to know if theres something wrong with me. So I’ve only been in what you would call a “relationship” or maybe not a relationship but I have had one boyfriend my entire life. It only lasted a little over a month and we ended it because we basically realized that we were better off as friends so we stayed good friends. He left for Europe and started dating this French girl and he seemed quite happy but then he broke up with her and told me that he loved me, of course the bitch that I am I go and make him understand that he doesn’t love me so then we don’t talk about that anymore and continue to be good friends. He returned from Europe for a month and told me again that he has feelings for me and I told him that I just thought of him as a good friend. Hes a great guy don’t get me wrong but I just don’t see him as more than that. Well anyway, there seems to be a couple of guys that are interested with me and have asked me out blah blah blah but I always turn them down and never even give them a chance. Over the course of my 17 years on this earth I have only liked umm about 3 guys, first the exboyfriend whom I realized was just a good friend, second a guy whom I decided “yeah ill give it a try” with but it went nowhere partly because we are too different and third the boy ive had a crush on for a really long while, of course I never told him I liked him even if I knew that he liked me at a certain time in our friendship but I suppose we never did anything about our feelings and he just moved on which I don’t mind because if he finds a great girl to be with ill be happy for him, its just that for the time ive liked him I have tried to get over it but have not been successful. Anyway…. What the hell is wrong with me?! I mean there are great guys out there who like me but I always turn them down… I’m not able to like anyone else at all in a romantic way... maybe lust but not romance… I’m 17 in college and of course high school is known for that whole thing of dating and finding out the type of guys you like but that never happened to me because I was always reluctant to actually accept dates… How can I stop saying no to guys who ask me out? And why is “no” the only word that comes out of my mouth?

I’m sorry for the misspellings, the none and bad punctuation, ect.
Yes I’m 17 blahblahblah young in college will have many more years to experience love, or maybe not if I die in my sleep tonight. I know all of that I would just like to know any comments on why I am so reserved and reluctant when it comes to liking guys or finding love. I don’t have high standards I swear, I’m not beautiful, I’m not waiting for prince charming or anything. I just cant seem to figure out as much as I’d like to experience more dating I just don’t bring myself to do it.

Thanks.

[xwfuro]

im the same way somewhat, im not sure what it is, maybe try to go on dates with the people and not commit yourslef to a relationship this way someone you didnt like right away, maybe they will grow on you.

[vashti]

If you want more experience dating, then you have to quit saying "no". I don't think there is anything in your post that is out of the ordinary. 17 is very young, and you have plenty of time to find a guy who appeals to you.

[King Zarathu]

Yeah. It's not like you're 36 or anything--then you'd just be old.

[Junket]

That was long and pointless.

[Gigabitch]

Guess what, tournesol, you can ask boys out, too. Apparently, they like it. I think you need a couple of practice dates, hopefully with guys who won't fall in love and take it out on poor, unsuspecting French girls.

You come off as being pretty rigid and tightly self-controlled on the outside while being perfectly nice on the inside. Does that sound about right?

I do have to say I'm a little surprised you've only liked three guys in your whole life. Did you grow up in Antarctica?

And the most important question: Are you still living with your parents? If so, you may still be letting them define you in ways you won't even begin to understand until you're 30. Don't question yourself so much if this is the case. You're probably fine and not weird at all.

[buddylove]

go to my bar and see how other girls dealing with guys....

[tournesol]

Guess what, tournesol, you can ask boys out, too. Apparently, they like it. I think you need a couple of practice dates, hopefully with guys who won't fall in love and take it out on poor, unsuspecting French girls.

You come off as being pretty rigid and tightly self-controlled on the outside while being perfectly nice on the inside. Does that sound about right?

I do have to say I'm a little surprised you've only liked three guys in your whole life. Did you grow up in Antarctica?

And the most important question: Are you still living with your parents? If so, you may still be letting them define you in ways you won't even begin to understand until you're 30. Don't question yourself so much if this is the case. You're probably fine and not weird at all.

hahaha Antartica?! no actually, I was born and raised for the first six years of my life in South America then I moved for three years to Spain and then I moved to a city in NJ which is only 10-15 minutes away from NYC and I'm currently working at finding a nice aparment in Brooklyn or Philadephia, thus yes I do currently live with my parents. I suppose it is true that I am letting them define me in a way because they are very strict Roman Catholics as I myself am Buddhist so our ideas never meet halfway as they should. And yes, as you do, I think that it is rather strange that unlike every other teenager out there I havent had my good share of "liking guys," thats what I dont understand but I suppose I'll meet more people in the near future.

Thanks.

[vashti]

Eh, be happy you haven't liked too many boys. They are all trouble.

[jurupa]

Eh, be happy you haven't liked too many boys. They are all trouble.

Yes boys are trouble, but us men are not.

hahaha Antartica?! no actually, I was born and raised for the first six years of my life in South America then I moved for three years to Spain and then I moved to a city in NJ which is only 10-15 minutes away from NYC and I'm currently working at finding a nice aparment in Brooklyn or Philadephia, thus yes I do currently live with my parents. I suppose it is true that I am letting them define me in a way because they are very strict Roman Catholics as I myself am Buddhist so our ideas never meet halfway as they should. And yes, as you do, I think that it is rather strange that unlike every other teenager out there I havent had my good share of "liking guys," thats what I dont understand but I suppose I'll meet more people in the near future.

Thanks.

There are no cities in NJ, its one city lol. I don't think its completely strange for your low number of guys you have "liked". When I was in high school there was at most 5 girls that I had crushes on. I never dated in high school becuase I was never really interested in girls at the time. Now 4 years later I am a lot more interested in girls and dating. And I grew up and lived the majority of my life in Southern California. Your interest in boys alone may have not catched up to the rest of you yet.