Spicing up a LD relationship...

[Mathias]

I'm 24, been with my girl for four years. Things have been kind of stale lately, we go through the same routine every day...

What are some tips you ladies have to spice things up, and make the everyday phone calls a little better? What are some little things I can do to make her life easier, better, or more romantic?

[vashti]

Sorry, I am not a fan of long distance relationships. There is precious little you can do over a phone.

[King Zarathu]

Same. I dislike the whole "long distance" thing.

[Venacava]

Is this a long distance relationship? I don't see how you can spice things up via. telephone, unless you think of better things to talk about ; or you end up having phone sex.
You could always have flowers or something sent to her, send her a letter rather than an e-mail or something. There are plenty of things you can do, get creative.

[Junket]

Why don't you mail something to her?

A letter? A gift?

[Mathias]

Sorry, I am not a fan of long distance relationships. There is precious little you can do over a phone.

It's a necessary evil for a year.

[vashti]

Well, at least it is a finite amount of time. That IS better.

[Mathias]

Well, at least it is a finite amount of time. That IS better.

Yeah, if we hadn't been together for 3 and a half years before she moved, and it wasn't for just a year (9 months, actually), this wouldn't be happening.

[Tiay]

I agree, there's not that much you can do over the phone-- there are however plenty of other things you can do. Get a webcam and mailorder one for her too. Me and my LD boyfriend both have cams, and while it's not half as good as the real thing, it's a lot of fun and quite touching. We went a year without visiting once, 9 months isn't that long, considering it's only this once.
Or, short of that, if you have a digital camera that shoots those little movie files, record her a sweet note. Believe me, seeing you on video even if it's not live video chat is tons better than not seeing you at all for her.
Send handwritten notes or other gifts in the mail. There's nothing sweeter than a handwritten love letter. And don't worry about making it "perfect", just be sincere.

Kudos to you for taking the initiative to get spicy. Look at this as an opportunity to get to know her in a different way than you would living with/near her. Talk about both your sexual fantasies and vow to fulfil them when you're back together. You get to tease and tantalise her for months now! Have a surprise for her and send her subtle hints. Or ask her to come commando to the airport/bus stop/whatever. Or write erotic fiction about your re-union and the ensuing kinky toilet cubicle sex.. or whatever!.. I don't know.. you know her best! But really, you can totally use this for all it's worth to make LOTS of delicious suspense, drive her crazy. The wonderful thing for her is that you're now restricted to the most often neglected sex organ; the mind.

So most of all, don't view it as this horrible bad thing that the world forced on you and that you must now overcome; look at it as a chance. Sure I'd prefer to not be apart from my bf too, but that doesn't mean that you can't have fun while you're in the situation you're in.

The risk in long distance relationships is that you'll start feeling distance between you. Do your part to eradicate that. That is, keep thanking her when she calls you, that it's great to hear her voice, that you miss her, that she's on your mind every day, etc. That should help make her feel reassured that you're not disappearing into the distance or forgetting about her.

I can't describe in words how great it is to see my boyfriend at the airport, every time it happens I feel like my body may as well be floating. I bet it's a total love-chemical explosion in my brain; it's a total high.
Look forward to that, Mathias

(.. why does that sound like a German name to me?)

[Mathias]

Great post, Tiay, thank you very much.

And my name isn't really Mathias. It was my grandfather's middle name. He was Hawaiian. *shrug*

[Gigabitch]

My name really is Gigabitch.

Anyway, it's those little, seem-like-nothing impulsive things that make us special to the ones who love us. Stupid seeming stuff like the way she can tell when you're about to laugh or knowing whether you untie your shoes when you take them off or just push them off your feet. This stuff gets completely lost over long distance. For nine months, you're several degrees removed, so try to be as idiosynchratic and nostalgic as possible. Remind her why she loves you.

[Tiay]

what were your parents thinking, Giga??

yup, you're right. Human attraction is just not designed to function over the phone. But it doesn't have to, because you've already attracted each other in person, so as I said you might as well make the best of it and have fun.

[Gigabitch]

what were your parents thinking, Giga??

They were angry with their own parents for naming them Maalox and Chlamydia. Took it out on me and my brother, Canker.

[Tiay]

HAhahahah.. damn I wish I could give you rep..

[Gigabitch]

Rep can't help me. I'm scarred for life.