Is this as ridiculous as I feel?

[Bennyzilla]

Is it as absolutly ridiculous as everyone is telling me that I seem to be falling for a girl who already has a child? The father is no longer in the picture, and I really like everything about her, but when I bring it up to anyone thier reaction is always just "she has a baby..end of story" I think I'm really falling for her...am I as nuts as everyone keeps telling me I am??

[Venacava]

No. You can't help who you like/love, but make sure you're prepared.

[misombra]

how old are you?

[vashti]

EEK! He is 19! Benny, you are not crazy for falling for this girl, but you ARE crazy if you pursue her. You are way too young to be playing daddy. Trust me on this: stay away.

[misombra]

oh yeah.

bad.

[derm]

oh yeah.

bad.

Come on guys it's 2006.....at least it is here!

Anyone seen the professor or the Delorian


Regards,

Michael J

[blue toxin]

It depends. If she looks at me as if I'm the dad and I should be supporting her at 19, I'd be tempted to stay away from her. But if she's independent enough to maintain a sustainable lifestyle with her and her child, her child should NOT be a deciding factor if you fall for this girl. If my girlfriend, who is 19, had a child, and was independent enough to be fine on her own without me and she didn't look at me as a krutch to help her along, then like I said, I wouldn't even be bothered that she has a child.

[vashti]

Financial independence is only the tip of the iceberg. 19 year olds are (at least, for the vast majority) NOT prepared to be emotionally responsible for another human being. No offense, they just aren't.

[Gigabitch]

Most importantly, Benny, are you okay with the fact that you will NEVER be #1 with her, and that's as it should be?

I'm going to have to say I've known a couple of special, rare guys who could handle a girlfriend with a kid at 19, but it was really hard for them. It's a whole new kind of dating with a whole new set of problems.

[blue toxin]

Financial independence is only the tip of the iceberg. 19 year olds are (at least, for the vast majority) NOT prepared to be emotionally responsible for another human being. No offense, they just aren't.

I absolutely agree. I'm sure everybody thinks they are the exception, but I honestly think if I met my girlfriend and she had a child, and her and I shared an interest in one another, the child wouldn't stop me. Granted, I've got a decent job for only being 20 years old, and I attend college full time. But if being with her is what I wanted, I'd take any challenge that came my way. If that means getting up at 2 am to go to work until noon, then going to college until 8 in the evening, then I'm game.

[Bennyzilla]

Thanks, I just don't know..I'm probably not ready to have all that responsibility, but then again neither was she, I guess the only difference is that I have a choice...blah this sucks, I should just go back to working all the time so I never have to worry about any of this lol.

[Venacava]

Well, you can't help how you feel. However, I do think that if you're aware that you're not ready to be responsible for a child - then you should steer clear. Getting involved with a Mother/Father is difficult, because you will ultimately become a part of the childs life too and that's not something to take lightly. It's okay for you to have these feelings about this girl, but if you think that the situation might be a bit much for you and a little too complicated, then it's probably best that you don't pursue anything, you don't want to upset her, yourself or the child.

[King Zarathu]

Thanks, I just don't know..I'm probably not ready to have all that responsibility, but then again neither was she, I guess the only difference is that I have a choice...blah this sucks, I should just go back to working all the time so I never have to worry about any of this lol.

If you do, you will regret it and eventually get sick of her because of the baby. It's not fair to **** with her feelings like that dude.

[vashti]

If you do, you will regret it and eventually get sick of her because of the baby. It's not fair to **** with her feelings like that dude.

Nevermind HER; it's the kid I would worry about.

[TAVS]

I dated a girl with a child when I was 20 I believe. However, her parents had custody of the child and it wasn't a major factor. If it were, I would have kept my distance. It's just too much to put on your shoulders at that age when it's not yours.