Trust issues...

[vashti]

If you are unwilling to say what it is that makes you feel that you need to rescue her, then I am only able to go by what you have posted, which is nothing.

[Punisher]

Oh, for crying out loud! You know what...forget it...

Cheers

[vashti]

How old are you?

[King Zarathu]

How old are you?

Hahaha.. I knew it would come to this.

[dreamer101]

look man, don't get so defensive, everyone is just trying to help you. and for that I agree with what vashti has said. cuz firstly if she wants to get in touch with her old pal because she misses her or whatever then thats her problem / decision. stay out of it. and as you say the reason why she doesn't want to tell you is because she knows you won't approve, which you don't. but if you feel you do, then hint her and she may tell you. but stay out of it. worst thing you can do is get between two friends.

[vashti]

Punisher, I know you think you need to "help" her, but really, you can't. Even though she may have complained about how her friend treats her, she doesn't really want your help. Male people are inclined to FIX problems, whereas females just like to VENT about them. It sounds like typical girl behavior - they tend to fight like sisters. This is why I say you should just stay out of it. At most I think you can say something like "Wow, that sucks. What are you going to do?". She will get rid of this friend when the pain exceeds the pleasure.

[Gigabitch]

IMO, you should let this girl go so she can find someone who isn't constantly contemplating dumping her and you can find someone you respect.

[Punisher]

I'm 27.

OK, all the replies I've read are going in the wrong direction...really. I'm starting to be sorry I ever posted this here.

I mean...from the initial question on how to communicate with her about this, it went to the point where I have to read that I'm some kind of control freak that doesn't leave my gf a free will and that I have to approve of her friends before she can have them?

I'm really sorry, I know you're all trying to help, but this is not helping me a bit. Jesus H Christ folks. Her friend actually slept with her previous bf and tried the same game on me and because I don't want to share this stuff with you cuz it's private, I become some kind of bad guy here?
I'm really sorry folks, but I'll solve this on my own and no offence please, I know you're intentions are good

Peace

P

EDIT: And Gigabitch, I'm sooooo gonna act like I haven't read that...

[vashti]

heh... there is another guy posting with your same screen name, but spelled "pun1sher", who is thinking of getting rid of his girlfriend. It threw me for a minute, too.

Anyway, sorry, but even with this new revelation, I have the same advice. Your girlfriend keeps this friend around for a reason, and it probably isn't a very healthy one. I would stay out of it and stay away from the friend.

[King Zarathu]

If you don't feel like sharing private things... why are you even posting?

[Gigabitch]

heh... there is another guy posting with your same screen name, but spelled "pun1sher", who is thinking of getting rid of his girlfriend. It threw me for a minute, too.

Ooo! My bad! Oh, that was so bad. Okay, I'm laughing because it's not my thread and I have no emotional investment in this situation, but damn, it is almost the same name!

Sorry, Punisher.

Okay, about you: You can't protect someone from themselves. You just can't. She's going to continue on with this sad behavior no matter what you do because her relationships with other girls are about her relationship with her mom, and that's been in place for a lot longer than you have.

Quit judging her. You have a list of expectations as long as your arm. She's a person. People are ****ed up. Do you care about her? Then back off, because you're going to drive her away.

[misombra]

punisher, if you keep looking through her things and being jealous and shit, she's going to dump you. she might even dump you for a woman. if you don't trust her, then you shouldn't be with her.

[King Zarathu]

she might even dump you for a woman

Now you're just trying to turn him on.

[misombra]

i don't have to try.

[TDurden]

don't tell her about the email, thats only gonna make her more secretive. since she already said she's not talking with this person then its probably best to leave the situation alone for now. since its currently only emails you have nothing to worry about. if they start hanging out again then i'd say you have a problem but of course then it'll be much easier to talk with her about simply because its harder to keep visits secret than it is emails.
this old friend sounds pretty bad and it makes sense that you'd want her to stay away, but even so, unless things escalate its probably best just to leave it be.