he treated me like i'm not a human being but i...

[dyni]

I'm an 90% average student, i'm probably the most smartest person in class, probably the niceist freinds to have but i left my family to study when i was 15. I was alone, so my self esteem is kinda gone through out the year. And when u were in an abusive relationship like me you would understand that those people make us lose our self esteem. I"m smart, i'm pretty and i had my life set up for me but when everyday the person i loved call me stupid, used ur brain, why are you so dumb, oh god did u damage ur brain, hey ugly, oh **** i wish you were hot like her, why can't you be like her, etc....it bring me down, i hate to admit it but it did. As much as i want to build my self esteem i dont even know where to start...as saying right now i dont even know what it is anymore.....

i used to have eating disorder, i almost die one because of it that happen when my dad past away and i got asult the...so everytime when i'm stress eating is the last thing on my list, i dont want to eat, i dont want to sleep, id ont want to do anything...

Almost everyday now, my stomach hurt, i dont know if it is from not eting enough or from stressing out or working to hard. (i'm 5' and 88 pounds or may be less i dont know). The fact that i'm still waiting for my health card i have to pay for everything still, which mean it gona cost me a lot just to visit a doctor and i can't afford that.

and yes you are right i should look at people in africa, but i wasn't born there, i came here to have a better life, just like anyone else who come here and those who goes on vocation every year or those that threw their food out, they also knew better justlike me but still making mistake......

i needed help, everytime i wanted to call the help line it was seem to be useless for me, they liten but there is no advice to it...i need is a solution that i can't come up with myself which is why i need anyone of you to help me to at least come up with something that i could call me considering the option....... its come to the point where i can't make my own decision and i'm scare to make one...so please instead of telling me to grow up, tell me HOW to grow up, what should i do? direct me, walk me there....please

[bluesummer]

Dyni

As much as we feel for your situation and want to help you, we can't tell you how best to solve your problem. We can only make suggestions based on our very limited knowledge of your type of situation, and you personally.

The best basic suggestion I can give you (given the severity of your situation) is to seek professional help.......a counsellor, a psychologist, something. We can't pretend to have any idea how to solve an issue as complicated as yours, which sounds like it is rooted in a lot of experiences that have affected you psychologically. We can't tell you HOW to grow up. We can't tell you how to think, or feel.

You realize you have a problem, and you want to get help for it, which is a start. But now you need to find some strength within to choose the right path for yourself. My personal opinion is that is would be destructive to yourself to go back to this person, and I think you know that too.

[Gigabitch]

Dyni, if you're in school, there is help for you right there. Unless you're in freaking Afganistan or something, there is some women's organization in existence within walking distance that exists solely to help people like you. What is stopping you from finding them?

[anhmaimaiyeuvn]

i needed help, everytime i wanted to call the help line it was seem to be useless for me, they liten but there is no advice to it...i need is a solution that i can't come up with myself which is why i need anyone of you to help me to at least come up with something that i could call me considering the option....... its come to the point where i can't make my own decision and i'm scare to make one...so please instead of telling me to grow up, tell me HOW to grow up, what should i do? direct me, walk me there....please

Dyni, I'm not going to compete with other people's opinions in this forum about your problems --- because we're only going to side track things.

If you're afraid to talk to or go to one of the counseling --- psychologists, doctors or Phd, then I suggest you make a printout of all our postings (stable them) and give it to one of their receptionists, put a cover page with a phone number and a nickname where they can reach you.

They will understand.

I'm sure anyone reads this will want to help you.

Mind you, these doctors have a network of other doctors and specialists in their communities and colleges. Their society will have experts who have a great amount of knowledge and experience in your case, and more than likely they can help you solve your problems. At least their will be some improvements, I can assure you if you go seek help from the.

The problems you have requires a long-term thing, it's not a one shot answer or suggestion from us or other people that will help you, and you can't do it alone. You need to sit down with one or more of these experts, work with them, and tell them about your problems. Don't be afraid!

[Tiay]

I agree- we aren't professional therapists here, and it looks like you need one. I hope that you have that available to you at your school.
congrats on your grades by the way!

[blacksun]

Yeah, just like everyone else here i think you need profesional help. There should be plenty of resources avalible wherever you are studying. Ask a counsoler or someone else and youll be sure to get the help you need. You've already achived the first step in admiting you have a problem now you have to follow through and get help. I dont think anyone here is trained to help you and even if they were its an important step for you to go out and seek help.

[dyni]

one problem after another. I had four different emails addresses, unfortunately one of them i rarely use, i only use it for my school, or important contact...even my friends and family doesn't know about it. The day i left him, i must of forgot to sign out from his computer and now i can't log on....he wanted me to give back things that i dont have, things like his tv tuner that he probably lost somewhere around the house. he wanted me to pay him 45$ for the quebec trip that he wanted me to go and i said its only fair if you pay me back 30$ for the late movies that he rent and he said no i have to pay him the 45$ plus his other stuff that i dont have or even have a clue where they are........why can't this guy leave me the **** alone....i dont want to be anywhere near him, why can't he just let me go and move with my life....what does he want from me? he doesn't even want his own kid....why does he want to deal with me? why me? i was fine...i wanted to move on and do better things and now i felt like shit agian....im never gona able to get away from this hell........