possibly more than a crush on a teacher...

[pikachusgirl]

I know this has been done a million times before...
So I'm really sorry to anyone who is really annoyed by this topic already!
hmm How do I say this without wasting too much time...
I started liking this teacher after I had his class and always made an effort to see him atleast once a day. I would hang out during lunch all the time with friends until they got pissy. Then I would hang out with him afterschool constantly, joking about things, being flirty, sharing everything. Well recently I 've graduated and I have been 18 since May... and well I want to take things further. He seems to be interested, he calls me all the time, he knows I like him and likes to throw it in my face, I call him, I hang out with him during summer school, and he's even had me over to his place (it was me his friend and my friend). Nothing happened when I was over at his place, but we were both drinking and well he was driving me to a place where I could stay ( he didn't want me driving and neither did I)...and well he asked me to walk with him and our faces were so close togethr (god I wanted to kiss him). So we were walking and he was holding my waist and he said I was hot (I called his girlfriend hot and that was his response). Yes he has a girlfriend, and he is a big ass flirt and I'm sure he has girls stashed everywhere so I'm not an idiot, I'm not expecting anything like "love" from him, but I do like him a lot. I want to know how legal it is for us to get involved, and if u think he wants the same thing. He does act a little obsessive sometimes when he hasn't seen me in a while.... He called me two days after I graduated acting like he was returning a call when I didn't call him!
He's said he wants to break up with his girlfriend... and I'm always telling him not to... (I'm not intimidated by her at all, I've met her a couple of times, she's pretty but really stuck up unlike me!)
more info. he's 50 I'm 18... kind of a big gap..
I called him when I was drunk and told him I have a major crush on him and he called me the next morning saying "hey you, you called me and left a message nothing embarassing just that u were wasted. I just wanted to make sure u were alright, you got a lot of people over here that care about you."
my friends say he wants to bone me (which makes me giggle), but I don't really see it...

how likely is this to happen?
how legal is this?
anyone else ever been in a situation similar to this?
how'd it work out?
any regrets?


sorry if that was uber long and boring and if u've read stories saying basicaly the same thing!
any answers u have will help!

[blacksun]

That hell bone you, given the oppertunity, depends on the person but i wouldent count it out.

As for legal probably legal grey area at best if not illegal.

I can tell you right now that thats not a road you want to take even if he loves you and you love him back it wont work out well for both of you because society will look down on you. But realisticly speaking youll end up having sex with your teacher and then regret it later. Thats not a road you want to travle, your 18, you still have plenty of time to explore, find yourself a boyfiriend your age and be realistic about things. This is not a path you want to go down, it dosent lead anywhere even remotely good, youll loose your friends, people will look down on you, youll be heartbroken when he gets tired of you, and you might end up with your face plastered all over CNN as the girl that had an affair with her teacher.

[bluesummer]

Okay (deep breath).....there are so many things wrong about this situation I don't know where to start.

Let's look beyond the obvious age difference and the fact that he is your teacher......this guy is a Class A slimebag!! Lord!!!

You are 18, and therefore don't have much if any experience with grown 'men'. A guy his age has NO business picking up a vulnerable 18 year old, he's essentially 'cheating' on his gf (I don't care if you think she is 'stuck up' - you have NO right to interfere in that relationship!) , and he's also breaking that teacher/student relationship. Someone that is in the profession of being an authority figure to young girls (and boys..) should not be 'hanging out' with them or telling them they're 'hot'. That's damn frightening.

My dear, stay away from this man. You can do much better. This is just a silly crush, and in time it will pass BELIEVE ME. You are going to end up hurt if you pursue this.

[pikachusgirl]

whoah ok
yeah I know society is not going to take this lightly, and i know it's bad and everything ... and whoah =(
The thing I like about my situation is that i don't cut off my options. Since my crush on this teacher I have made out with three different guys (oh great, now I sound like a whore...lol). And I even really like one of them, like my crush is as big as my crush on him. At the same time I do really like him and keep that possibility open. Just know that he's not the only one I'm pursuing there are many more! (WHORE... I KNOW!!!)
Trust me bluesummer... I think he's been cheating on his gf fior a while and I'm pretty sure I wouln't be the first. I think they may even have an agreement... or she's just an naive and ignorant!
I know it's a crush, but I have at times thought it was more, but am afraid that if I do invest too much of myself that I would get hurt... that's why I keep out relationship fairly light with not many ties...


thanx for your point of views (although it's not what I wanted to hear it's good to keep realistic views in mind!)
so thank u guys!

[bluesummer]

OK, but beyond all the 'this is wrong' stuff.....

Do you SEE that this guy is a creep? Honestly, I personally would never give a guy like this the time of day, even if he were the same age as me. It's just about having respect for yourself. Thats it - you have to look out for yourself first.

[pikachusgirl]

Ok, He doesn't come off well... but honestly he seems like a genuine person!
I have had many conversations with him were he has helped me with feelings about friends, love, parents, and other many confusing topics. He's even helped with school!
And it's not like he's made any moves that I didn't provoke or initiate. He hasn't even done anything yet that is completely offensive he's just witnessed things that he couldn't control (like my crush on him and my drinking). He doesn't act or talk like anything is going to happen... just innocent flirtations at this moment... sure i want more, but I don't know if he does.. =(

I can understand the concern... So thanx for ur post... I know I can "do better" but I do like him...

thanx again... sorry if I got a little defensive I don't wanna shoot down what anyone has to say... it's a good point!

[Ellynn]

This guy sounds like nothing but trouble. He's gonna end up hurting you just like he is hurting his gf. As the others have said, just with a guy(any age etc) alone doing stuff like that, I would steer clear of him!

And honestly, what could you possibly have in common with a 50 yr old when your 18?

Even if you did have a chance with him, I think your confusing looking up to him an respecting him and your obvious crush for something more.

[pikachusgirl]

but I enjoy the relationship... honestly nothing has happened (yet *hopefuly face*). We have a disturbingly lot of things in common! We talk about everything I feel like I've learned a lot from him. Even if i doesn't go anywhere I would want to keep him around for advice on things... he's really smart and funny!

I am listening(or reading a i guess...) to all ur saying, I just don't like it [insert stubborn girl face] lol
thanx for the comments!

[bluesummer]

Honestly, we're just trying to help out. Not trying to make you sound stupid or anything.

[King Zarathu]

Oh my God.. I was expecting something like "lol im 18 but hes liek 22 1st yr of teachng n stuff lolololol" but ****ing 50?!

Do you like wrinkles?

[Iso8]

I can understand the age gap, at 19 my boyfriend was 38 I always said I would never get with anyone over 28 at that stage but I really cared about him and we were very happy together but he wasnt pressurising our relationship was very adult and we treated each other with respect , but realistically there is no future there if you think about it in your situation when your 28 he will be 60 when your 38 he will be 70 not such a good long term prospect, your so much better off getting with somebody your own age your still very young and its important to have healthy experience with people in the same stage of life as you , I know the prospect of older more mature men is attrative and i was very upset when I ended things with my ex but if you look realistically at your situation the age gap is simply too great and it sounds like he isnt honerable I would say that from the sounds of it what your doing isnt at all safe and I would reccomend you stay clear of it and spend more time with your friends and guys closer to your age.

[pikachusgirl]

Older men are sooooo attractive.. and he's so experienced and wise... and he has literally been around the block several times... and I dunno I find that attractive!
OMG come on Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Colin Firth are so hot older guys are just good looking!
Wrinkles *drool*
Yeah I dunno the youngest guy I've dated recently was 24 and he was the one pressuring me for stuff and made me feel all uncomfortable...
I wouldn't expect this to go very far... I don't even really expect it to go as far as I want it to.
I wouldn't want a "relationship" with him. Like I wouldn't want him to leave his gf for me...
Maybe I'm confused I dunno

thanx again!

[Iso8]

I understand Im a pierce brosnan fan! but I have to say draw the line at a crush like i said before its not a safe situation for you to be in and I know older guys seem more like men than guys your age but you will find someone your age or near to who is not pressurising and mature there are a few of them about but as someone who has experienced something similar before I must urge you to draw the line call it a crush like your george clooney one! and just leave it there go hunting for someone your age whos just a bit more mature than the average, that happend for me I found a guy who was infact younger than me (something Id never done) and he was so much more mature and interesting than all the other guys older and my age I was very happy with him, my boyfriend now is pretty mature I imagine like me thats just what you look for but it doesnt just come in older men there is only 3 years between me and my current guy. so like i said call this one a crush and look for someone closer to your age

[Khazard]

Hmm this reminds me when i has a major crush on my teacher at school when i was 13. Although this was a female teacher...

[Junket]

Yeah somehow, I always thought a male student screwin' a female teacher was never as bad as the other way around.

I mean seriously.

If I had screwed one of the hot female teachers in my highschool, I'd have been a God amongst all others!