who pays what????

[wallyparker]

need some help here.. I of course will discuss this at length with her but here goes.....I plan on marrying and moving in with my girlfriend... how do we split the rent?? Here's the thing: she makes more money than me and she has a 4 year old son.... i figured she should take on a little more burden for her son.... I just wanted some opinions... please dont flame me for asking... I was just wondering ... thanks

[bluesummer]

If you live together, you split the rent.

She will already have extra costs associated with her son with regards to food, clothing, etc etc.

[NeoSeminole]

agree, you each pay half of the rent. Her son was already her financial responsibility before you came alone.

[Tiay]

how do we split the rent??

through the middle..?

[daletom]

"Split the rent"?? Huh?? What's with the "split" stuff?

If you are truly married - and not merely joined by a legal formality for the sake of convenience - there is no "split". Haven't you heard, "The two shall become one."? How about, "joy or sorrow . . . richer or poorer . . . sickness or health"? Successful marriages are seldom 50/50 arrangements. More like 60/60, or even 90/90. The fact you're asking the question shows that you value wealth (or is it greed?) above your wife. What you're describing is a business contract, not a marriage. You will get better advice in a legal forum than what we say here.

And that's NOT flaming you - just pointing out that it's slightly off topic.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

I agree with daletom. You guys are getting married. By doing so you accept her, her child, and any financial implications. When you are married, you don't split things. You do it together. My suggestion is to get a joint account where you can both put money in for bills, etc. Then you can have your seperate account for whatever. That's the best way to do it.

It kinda disturbs me that people are saying the kid is hers so she should cover his expenses. He's a human child, not a puppy. When you marry her, you're accepting both of them into your family. Expecting her to pay for 'her' kid is ridiculous. It's no longer just her kid, he's your kid too.

As daletom says, the spliting rent thing sounds more like a contract you make with your roommate. It's a bit childish. I'm really not trying to offend you or get on your ass, I'm just letting you know what I think of the situation. Maybe you should talk to her about it and see what she thinks. And PLEASE don't say anything like, "So are you going to pay for your kid?" because I can guarentee that she will be offended by that!

Hope this helped out, and good luck! I assume you haven't proposed yet, so when you do, hope she accepts!

[daletom]

Thanks for the support.

. . . It kinda disturbs me that people are saying the kid is hers so she should cover his expenses. He's a human child, not a puppy. When you marry her, you're accepting both of them into your family. Expecting her to pay for 'her' kid is ridiculous. It's no longer just her kid, he's your kid too.

I had a couple of paragraphs along those lines, too, but decided not to post them until the originator responded to the comments about the rent thing.

CherriBlossomGi, you make me think that MAYBE there's still some hope for the under-30 generation . . .

[bugmenot]

i was thinking what daletom said, but didnt want to sound harsh!

[chel18]

I agree with cherriblossom.u guys are getting married why are you thinking about the expense?your money is her money too except if you guys are going to sign on some legal agreement.besides since its her kid it would be automatic for her to give more for the child.maybe its best if u guys talk about joint account