BF Has Too Many Girl Friends??

[bluesummer]

I saw a similar posting in the 'Ask A Female Forum', about girls with too many guy friends.

See, my bf had a lot of friends who were girls (lots of guy friends too, mind you....he's 'Mr. Social'). But some of them he hung out with one on one, and was always helping them out with their 'relationship problems' and also talking to them about ours. It really made me jealous, although I tried to pretend I was cool with it. Some people thought it was a sign he had a wandering eye.....while he swore they were nothing more than friends and that I was insecure.

Guys, what do you think? Do any of you have girl FRIENDS you are close to, while you have a girlfriend that you really love (and have no romantic interest in the girl FRIEND?) ? Is this possible?

I just found it weird my bf expected me to be cool with him having so many female friends, while at the same time getting very obviously agitated by my guy friends (including the coupled ones). It's nothing to do with insecurity, just the stupid double standard.

[Illusional]

here's one way to look at it. he's good friends with them where he can talk to them about your relationships problems. he gets personal with her about all the shit that you and him go through. i share my problems with a lot of girls that i talk to and i don't wanna get in their pants. i think that most people tend to bond with the opposite sex in these sorts of relationships because their SO is usually of the opposite sex.

now with that said, i did hook up with one of my good friends after helping her with all her guy problems. haha i know that it won't help you feel any more secure than you do now, but i think that you have nothing to worry about.

raverboy

[NeoSeminole]

just curious, is this the same guy who you weren't sure you wanted to date before?

[Illusional]

where is that picture again??

raverboy

[EvilGenius]

most relationship break because of this, this is my opinion and experience.

[bluesummer]

Yeah, Neo, it was my ex.

It was just an afterthought......he still has lots of close girlfriends but he's not dating anybody. Just could never figure that out about him.

[NeoSeminole]

wait, so is this guy your ex or the guy you weren't sure you wanted to date b/c of his height? Or are they the same guy?

[blue toxin]

Neo - this guy sounds JUST like me. I've been in a faithful relationship for 4 and a half years, but I can't stand to see ANYBODY in pain or suffering, so when someone is having some problems and they're willing to open up to me about it to seek help, I'll do everything I can in my power to comfort them or give them any advice.

My girlfriend has questioned it at times, but she's the same way too but with guys, so it really just gets to the point where her and I just both prefer friends of the opposite sex and that's how we are, yet we're faithful to one another and a strong trust bond is there so worrying isn't something we do much, due to the trust.

[bluesummer]

wait, so is this guy your ex or the guy you weren't sure you wanted to date b/c of his height? Or are they the same guy?

Oh, sorry for the confusion.

I still haven't gotten around to dating the guy I had the 'height' issue with. Been far too busy sorting stuff out with my ex, moving, changing jobs, blah blah blah.

No, I'm talking about my actual most recent ex that I actually dated...... for 3.5 years.

[blacksun]

Well that depends on how he acts around them. I have a friend who *probably* isnt gay and girls share all their problems with him, but he's never taken advantage of them or slept with any of them (hes 20 btw). I myself have number of female friends who im not really interested in sleeping with, and who I dont mind helping with their presonal problems. On the other hand I know a lot of guys that flirt with their female friends even though they have girlfirends, so it really depends on the person.

[polo]

I have alot of female friends and I know it bothered my EX. But i put in the effort to assure my faithfullness to her. DOes he do that for u?

[GrkScorp]

Bluesummer, don't let it bother you one bit..

I was once like that.. until college started.. then there was no more time for any Mr.Social..

So..

If he's the type of guy who listens to you, cares about you, and you can honestly call him a sweetheart and a careing soul... then.. chances are that he's only trying to be helpful.. Guys like this feel useless in life, and need to make themselves into a valuable resource for others.. Try to remember if he went out of his way to get you to go out with him, if his gifts were ever really thoughtful??? This is that type of guy then Blue... For as long as you let him know that he really means alot to you and that you adore all the things and attention he gives you and does for you.. then there's nothing these other girls have on him...



However.. if he's your regular low self-image type of guy, who wants all the attention he can get.. then first of all.. let him go... lol.. you seem like too nice of a girl to be with someone like this... This type of guy is usually not responsive, fake-caring.. not helpful.. STARTS agruments often... questions your loyalty to him... and.. is very VERY practical... If you've ever gotten jewlery after jewlery after jewlery.. or anything like flowers, chocolates, teddybears... OVER AND OVER AND OVER again... he's PRACTICAL... doesn't want to bother thinking too much, maybe not even at all.. so he either stereotypical girly gifts.. Does he compromise to do things YOU like??? if the answer is no.. then.. be afraid of his PRACTICAL nature...
When his "Friend(s)" need company or a shoulder to cry on.. he might just cash in on the chance to do something with them.. I know plenty of people like this...



But don't let me scare you.. I just want you to have a good idea as to where you stand.. hopefully your guy will fall deep into one of the two that i've just mentioned.. since the other types of guys tend to be quite the opposite of a Mr.Social...

[mahouyuki]

i have a guy friend that flirts non stop with pretty much every chick hes friends with. most ppl think hes a pimp. but the truth is, he said he didnt mean to flirt with them; he just automatically does flirts n hugs chicks and doesnt notice (hard to believe). But wat im trying to say is; a guy can have heaps of close friends that are girls and not have any feelings of love for them.

[lilwing89]

blue summer:
you have a right to get jealous when he hangs out with other girls.

i think you need to trust him a little, however. i would ask him if you can hang out with him and his lady friends and see how that goes.

i have girl FRIENDS that i share a lot of personal things with and i am not interested in them like that.

[TheSab]

my best friends are girls... I only have a few male friends... prehaps he just gets on with girls better..