Ex's Behaviour

[Bennyzilla]

My ex just called and said she has something for me...we haven't talked in 2 weeks and she just out of the blue called and said that she wanted to come over and give me something...also, her b-day is tomarrow and I still have her gift I bought for her way b4 she broke it off, should I still give it to her?? I don't know what else to do with it, but I don't want to seem like I'm really desperate. The main problem is that I'm still very much in love with my ex even though she seems to have totally moved on, so this random desire to see me has me freaking out...was I wrong to say it's ok to come over??

[Crunor]

Play it cool and don't give her the gift.

[mini696]

Give her the gift, tell her why you have it, and why you are giving it to her.

Unles its something very 'BF/GF' orientated like a ring or something.

[Tiay]

maybe she just wants to give you a cd you left at her place or whatever. Sure sounds curious though, why wouldn't she just say what it was?.. tell us what it turns out to be.

How about telling her casually that you still happen to have her gift from before, and ASKING her if she wants to have it. She might not want it around to help her move on. Or she might like a keepsake, or maybe she'll just figure, hey, an extra b-day gift. It partly depends on the gift though.

[Bennyzilla]

she came over and gave me a movie she knew i wanted...and then hugged me and told me she missed me and then started to cry and left. She ignored me all day today but now is texting me saying she wants to talk....

[King Zarathu]

If it were me I'd go freaky n shit on her too... Be all over her for a good 5 minutes and then just ignore her--totally. But that's just me...

What's the gift you want to give her?

[Bennyzilla]

A CD i knew she wanted and a movie she loves....I asked her if she wanted it and she said yes...she's being so weird but she spent all day today with her new BF and i texted her and asked her what was up with being all nicey nice and then ignoring me and she said "she wasn't doing it on purpose, I want to talk" when I said that I was tired of waiting by the phone for her all day and that I was dont with it she said "I can't let that happen, please let me talk to you later" so now I'm kinda just up waiting....

[King Zarathu]

Sounds like she's torn between you and this new boyfriend.

Have sex with her before it's too late.*
------
Map Key:
* Sarcasm.

[Bennyzilla]

lol Z! I dunno she's so shady. She came up today for like a half hour and then left to go somewhere (probably BF's) but she said she wanted to come back up later (probably when BF goes to work...). I can't prove any of that though and I may just be paranoid...she always wants to hug and kiss me on the cheek goodbye which is weird considering she has a BF and he doesn't like me...at all...Should I just ask her if she's interested???

[Bennyzilla]

so she came up again at nioght and we just talked about random stuff for like 45 mins. She said she had to go and kissed me on the cheek and then we shared that awkward "look into each others eyes thing" and she said she had to go and left. I'm going on vacation so i won;t see her for four days...she said she would miss me and that she wishes she could go to...Am I just setting myself up to be disappointed or is she actually acting interested??

[Tiay]

thanks for the updates.
well.. this is odd. Don't get your hopes up. Yes, maybe she suddenly realized that you're much better than the new guy and all-- but even so, would you really want to be with somebody like that??
I say just confront her. She's playing with your hopes and it's not fair. She can't just be there teasing you with cheek-kisses and stopping you from moving on. You guys have to either go no-contact, OR she has to decide that she wants back with you, in which case I advise you to consider very VERY carefully about what type of person she's showed herself to be; for instance, you already know that she's going against her new bf's wishes. (edit) and she isn't showing a whole lot of respect for your emotions either.

[Bennyzilla]

She's still totally crazy about her new BF she just said that she cares about me and wants me to be happy. She said tht she still loves me and thasts why she still wants to call and see me. I told her that I couldn;t just see her and talk like everything was ok b/c i still loved her. She said she still wanted to talk to me but she had to go into work...she wont be off till 11ish...What should I say to her?

[vashti]

Say goodbye, and then stop talking to her. It is over. Sorry, but you will heal faster this way.

[Bennyzilla]

Brutally honest..but i agree. As much as I love my Ex I think she's being compleatly childish about her new BF. I just found out that they have been having sex (they have only been dating for like 1 month when we didn't have sex till after a year of dating). She was never one to flaunt her sexuality about and it was always something she wanted to keep special, so it doesn't seem anything like her to be doing that. It seems to me that she isn't ready or doesn't want to have the serious relationship we had. It really hurts that she has become what she has...thats probably the biggest problem I'm having right now.

What would cause her to change so drastically???

[vashti]

Who knows? Maybe age? How old are you both?