I need help

[Khazard]

Hi,

im a new user to this forum, its great, but i partly joined because i have...well a problem and i need peoples advice.

Ill start of by saying i have my eye on this Girl who works were i work, i really like her , we are friends and we do speak occaisionally. but i want her to feel the same way as i do about her. im get so nervous when im around her i feel sick.i cant help feeling the way i do about her, i never have felt so strong about anyone in my whole life.

So i ask you to give me your advice, on how to win her heart. I need things that will make her like me more, then perhaps i could move on from there. I need compliments but not that will make her think iam trying to chat her up, but will make her feel good.

i cant express how pleased iam that you are reading my post and please please give any feed-back, every little helps.

Thanks.

[easilyinspired]

don't rely on changing yourself to make her like you more.

be who you are and see if she likes you

if not, its her loss

if yes, you just have to continue to be yourself

hopefully you are comfortable with the person you are

[Khazard]

oh no dont get me wrong, im fine the person iam believe me. but i need things to say to her, things that will make her feel good about me and herself. i really need tips

[Gigabitch]

Maybe you should say, "Hi, would you like to go out sometime?"

I advise you to act soon, or you'll become "that creepy guy who keeps looking at me but never asks me out" to her.

I know that guy. Don't be that guy.

[Khazard]

yeah but i need conversation tips tto break the ice...i cant go up to her and ask her out. im not a bad looking guy, im not fat and im 26 and a regular build, but i just get to nervous around women

[Gigabitch]

I think you should tell her that. Say, "Hi- I'm not usually this nervous, but you're really pretty. If you're not busy after work, I'd like to go get some coffee or something."

Playing it cool is obviously something you're not going to be able to do, and if you pretend you're not interested, you'll end up in the Friend Zone.

[wellwellwell]

One motto that I believe fits in every situation...
People want what they can't have
Without having to change yourself, don't come across to clingy.. I suppose it depends on the person but I'm pretty sure us girls will agree that a challenge is more enticing than someone always "there". I'm not saying that you are : p but you may find that she will be more eager to see you if you guys only casually bump into each other and it will progress from there?
You do seem to be past that point?
Seize any opportunities to take her out that seems like a casual gesture, such as a party, a concert

Good luck! have confidence, what have you got to lose? As cliche as it sounds, "there are plenty more fish in the sea"

[Ellynn]

Compliments are good. I once had a coworker give me compliments out of the blue, and it really made me question whether he likes me or if he just wanted to make conversation though. Thats the only problem.. Then when I heard him giving other females compliments where I work, I kinda figured it was to make conversation. I was kinda bummed, but I let it go.

So, if you do give her compliments, give them to only her. Trust me, if shes kinda curious about you she will notice. Or, if she really thought nothing of you, she will think twice. I know it made me think twice, but honestly work romances for me in the past have never worked out well. So, I kinda choose to avoid them. But maybe her views are different. I mean, sometimes there are success stories in the workplace.

If she is interested, she will be happy you complimented her and possibly reciprocate. If shes not, she will blow it off as nothing.

If you do get the feeling shes somewhat interested, why not ask her out after work? Say, "Hey, wanna join me for some coffee or something to eat?" Or ask her if she wants to go out after work for a drink. If shes interested, she will join you. And its not necessarily a date, but its time outside of work to get to know her. I mean, if anything, you can just say its just hanging out as friends if she acts like its not such a good idea. I mean thats a good cover if she responds negatively. Then at least you know whether its worth the time and effort. Plus, if you act like its just hanging out, things won't be so weird at work if shes not interested.

[Khazard]

thanks so much guys i tried it and we went out on kind of a friends lunch, oh well hopefully i just got to try harder

[Ellynn]

thanks so much guys i tried it and we went out on kind of a friends lunch, oh well hopefully i just got to try harder

Hey thats a start! Its all about getting her away from work and getting to know her one on one, alot better! Then you can go from there!

[LoVeSyCk]

I wish I could do that Good luck for you!

[mini696]

Well done mate... You are on the path to seeing if she likes you or not.

As was said above, you dont want to change so someone likes you, in the end no matter how you change, if she wasnt interested in you to begin with, she will most likely not even noticed you changed.

The advise about making a move soon so you dont become "that creepy guy" was very wisely given.