Can't get b/f's 3-way out of my mind

[nebulachic]

My b/f was divorced 3 years ago. He met a woman shortly after and had a 3-way with her and a friend of hers one night when they all got drunk. He said he was glad to have been able to fulfill a fantasy he'd always wanted to after he divorced.

For some reason.. I'm having a really hard time NOT thinking about... especially when we have sex. I feel like: 1) he's probably always imaging it..2) he's bored with me... 3) he'll want to try other multiple partner stuff eventually.

The experience haunts me and makes me feel very incompetent and sexually unadventurous. I feel like I must be so boring too because I have told him I prob wouldn't be interestedf in ever doing that.

[Ellynn]

What a guy did before you were with him, you really can't control. If its not something your into, then make sure he realizes that and put your foot down. If it gets to the point where he wants to try it again, stick to your guns.

If he still wants to try it, show him the door.

[funsounds]

i think you have to track down the two women he had a 3-way with...and have a 3-way with them yourself...

[King Zarathu]

OK Well I can't imagine having an orgy with anybody--to me that sounds just...****in nasty. But, if I DID fulfill a fantasy that I seriously wanted (which I have), and then had sex with the girl I was with, I can tell you that:

1) I wouldn't be thinking about it
2) I wouldn't be bored
3) I wouldn't want to experience it again with the girl if she really didn't want to... It's something I can respect, but some guys not be able to.

How well do you really know this guy? I suggest talking to him about it and see what he has to say--gotta keep it fair.

[Gigabitch]

If I were you, I'd be more concerned about fanatsies he hasn't fulfilled yet. Like PIITP.

[WorldOfMyOwn]

Its not really that important. Plus its not what its all said to be. Let me ask you a couple questions. #1 has he done it again and has had a interest doing it again. #2 Has he expressed a interest in you doing it. I personally can tell you three ways are not what they are said to be. Especially when you get jealousy among the women. Then things get very rough. It can even be awkward. For instance which girl should get go first. Or which girl was better is one of the best question I have been asked during one of these sessions. Its like umm. Well any way he wont be having one of those for a long time if he even wants to at all.

[vashti]

I personally can tell you three ways are not what they are said to be. .

I'm glad someone else said it before me. The men I have talked to that have experienced threesomes find they do not live up to their expectations.

[shai`anne]

I think he did it and is over it. If he was still interested in doing it he would be doing it. Why would he get a girlfriend that he knows doesn't like that if he wanted to do it?

[Gigabitch]

His son is graduated and out of the house now, right? Are you concerned he's about to go wild?

Also, if you're worried he's going to ask you to do things you're not comfortable with just to keep him, you might want to re-think the whole relationship.

[Zyx]

i think you have to track down the two women he had a 3-way with...and have a 3-way with them yourself...

I was going to second this but then I came up with some "good" advice. Guys don't get turned on by memories (much) so whatever is happening at the moment is more important to him. And if he wants to do it again, just say you're not interested and if he tries to convince you... slap him in the face.

[mini696]

If I were you, I'd be more concerned about fanatsies he hasn't fulfilled yet. Like PIITP.

I agree with this...

If I thought of everything my ex had done that I wanted to or didnt like, I would have gone mad a LONG time ago.

[mini696]

...slap him in the face.

I'd enjoy that lol.

[Tiay]

I just realised that mini696 represents sort of an awkward three-way. The 6 on the right is waiting it's turn..

I'd say to try not to think about it, but what do people think of when you say.. "don't think of giraffes right now!!"..? they think of giraffes.

Anyway, chances are that he doesn't think about it, that he's not bored, that you're a great lay and that he doesn't want to do it again. Maybe he was just trying to brag to you about being all manly. Why not tell him how you're feeling, and if he's worth your attention he will reassure you of the above.

[Illusional]

maybe this should go into the dumping forum because it deals with jealousy. however, because of the steamy action, i will leave it here. honestly i will tell you to get over it. sorry that i'm not compassionate about this stuff, but i believe that people can get too hung up on an ex, well in this case an ex husband. i've never been married so i can't say that i honestly know how you feel, but i believe that you shouudn't worry about it. obviously he doesn't care about you anymore so why even bother with him?? let the next guy treat you better, that's all that you should be concentrating about. and also how you can give your next man even more pleasure so that he doesn't fantasize about anyone BUT you.

raverboy