so bored!!!!!!!!!!!

[ogtripleog]

I am in a great relationship, except for our sex life. Sex for us is her laying on her back for 10 minutes and me not asking for anything else, because my wants/needs are bothersome. And if I do try something new I get to hear "what are you doing" or "no". I probably hear more "no's" in bed than a telemarketer on the phone. How can I get this girl to open up and have some fun. Sex should not be a chore.

[vashti]

Sex is usually only a chore if one partner or the other is not able to achieve orgasm. She may not be getting the same amount of physical pleasure that you are. Maybe you should brush up on technique? Or are her needs too bothersome?

[ogtripleog]

she orgasms frequently, and I always make sure she gets hers first. Technique on my end is definetely not an issue, besides if technique was an issue, why would she insist on just laying there. If its not fun for you why not find a way that is, not just lay there.

[Blix]

Talk about a reply that totally misread the OP, eh Vashti.

~Blix

[vashti]

she orgasms frequently, and I always make sure she gets hers first. Technique on my end is definetely not an issue, besides if technique was an issue, why would she insist on just laying there. If its not fun for you why not find a way that is, not just lay there.

Girls don't work that way. They just lay there or fake orgasm to get it over with quicker because they have given up on you being able to do it, or they may not even know what to do. Women who are experienced in having orgasm will be more proactive in ensuring they get one. Without the actual experience of having had one, why would one bother to exert themselves?

How old are both of you?

[Blix]

You stil make it look like he isn't trying when she's the one who isn't willing to try anything new. If she actually ISN'T having an orgasm then it's going to be her fault, not trying to do something different to make it work.

She must have HAD an orgasm at one point to know how to fake one, if that's what you're implying she's actually doing.

~Blix

[vashti]

She must have HAD an orgasm at one point to know how to fake one, if that's what you're implying she's actually doing.

~Blix

No you don't. Faking is easy. Haven't you seen "When Harry Met Sally"? Anyone who watches anything rated PG-13 or greater or has access to cable TV has seen what an orgasm is supposed to look like.

[vashti]

You stil make it look like he isn't trying when she's the one who isn't willing to try anything new. If she actually ISN'T having an orgasm then it's going to be her fault, not trying to do something different to make it work.

~Blix

BTW - It doesn't really matter who is at "fault", does it? If one or the other person is dissatisfied, it becomes a mutual problem. Assigning blame doesn't solve the problem.

Besides, lots of girls aren't even sure whether or not they have had an orgasm until they do. remember: we don't shoot semen all over the place to confirm it actually happened.

[Blix]

Okay, Vashti. I'm not going to argue about the female orgasm with someone who has experienced it first hand.

Though, if you AREN'T really getting an orgasm would you just sit there or do something so that you may achieve one?

~Blix

[Ellynn]

No you don't. Faking is easy. Haven't you seen "When Harry Met Sally"? Anyone who watches anything rated PG-13 or greater or has access to cable TV has seen what an orgasm is supposed to look like.

Very true! Its easy to fake! I remember when I was having sex and my ex- bf actually thought I was having one...but I wasn't. He couldn't even tell! (I did end up having one, but not at that moment.) Funny thing is that when I was having one, he didn't even realize it either! No matter how vocal I was, he couldn't tell unless I actually SAID something along the lines of "I'm coming!" LOL.

[Ellynn]

Though, if you AREN'T really getting an orgasm would you just sit there or do something so that you may achieve one?

~Blix

Personally I would actually do all I can to achieve one(because of actually having one, and knowing how great it is). But maybe with her, theres a pattern of just nothing happening. She's just fustrated and therefore thinks its just NOT gonna happen no matter what. So, therefore, sex has lost its fun.

I remember before actually having an orgasm during sex, sex was kinda boring. I mean it was good, but not GREAT! Very fustrating not to be able to feel what everyone else does. You begin to question if something is wrong with you, etc.

[vashti]

Okay, Vashti. I'm not going to argue about the female orgasm with someone who has experienced it first hand.

Though, if you AREN'T really getting an orgasm would you just sit there or do something so that you may achieve one?

~Blix

I have no problems getting what I want, but then again, I have been married to the same man for a long time. Things were different in the beginning, and he was very patient. The first time was quite a surprise for me. It was like: Oh! NOW I understand what all the fuss is about!

[Ellynn]

You stil make it look like he isn't trying when she's the one who isn't willing to try anything new. If she actually ISN'T having an orgasm then it's going to be her fault, not trying to do something different to make it work.

She must have HAD an orgasm at one point to know how to fake one, if that's what you're implying she's actually doing.

~Blix

Ok, maybe he is trying. And it is partially her fault for not telling him how she feels and how its just not working for her.

But as vashti said, it is really no one person who is to blame. It takes two to tango.

And yeah faking is easy. All you have to do is watch a porno to know how to fake. Or even a regular movie on T.V. Alot of those people are faking.

[Blix]

I've watched porno. I can tell if it's fake, even though most of the time they barely try.

Maybe she is enjoying herself? Maybe that position is fine for her, it fullfills her, and she wants nother more. I'm sure you're orgasming, and it seems she is, too. Or at least she's satisfied enough.

You'll have to convince her to go outside her safety zone?

~Blix

[vashti]

Maybe she is enjoying herself? Maybe that position is fine for her, it fullfills her, and she wants nother more. I'm sure you're orgasming, and it seems she is, too. Or at least she's satisfied enough.


~Blix

Spoken like a male.