its been a year with her. its been on and off. none of my friends want me to date her. im thinking she isnt a good girlfriend. But there is something there-and I can't quite determine what it is- that makes me want her still. Even through all the shit that happens.
and now we are almost friends again. she tells me she cant talk to me on the phone like she isnt ready. she tells me she cant see me in person... i think she is just trying to make me feel bad or something.. i dont really know what it is and i wont ever understand what it is or why.
she wants me to be her friend for advice or something like that... it makes me feel used when she only texts me. a usual convo will be like hey how was ur day and you know we laugh and stuff we dont fight anymore... but we are just.. friends. i want the intimate relationship and all that but she just doesnt simply put.
and i dont know how to move on i dont know how to detach my feelings... she is my first lover... i found another girl who lives back in my hometown like 2000 miles away but whenever i talk to her it makes me forget everything.
i dont really know what im talking about or saying i just dont know what to do and yea.