Don't know?

[Guin]

Not sure if this goes here but i need a guys point of view.

I've been seeing this guy for a while and we're very alike in certain terms. The thing is he always asks me what we should do and i keep saying don't know and the same with him when i ask what he would like to do.

Does it annoy men when a woman doesn't know what to do?

[Kay-C]

from what i know, a guy always make the decisions on anything when it comes to dating. It is kinda normal attitude in my opinion.
But in your situation, it seems different. If this is so, you might want to give opinion of what both of you should do...Wouldn't it be empty if both of you don't have any idea of what both should do??

[Kellie_Sabrina]

You are preaching to the choir!

My boyfriend has no problems at all communicating, as in telling me what he wants or just anything in general. BUT! When we go out, I make ALL decisions! I call the shots, & he plays along... kind of different for me. He is younger than the other guys I have dated in the past. The older guys will ask, but if I'm down for whatever, they come up with a date. I don't think age is much of a factor though.

My boyfriend now seems to want me to dictate where we go & what we do... As if I have some secret something in mind that I really want to do, but just can't say!

He is getting better, but it's taken some time. I think it is just the man & not men!

[vashti]

Not sure if this goes here but i need a guys point of view.

I've been seeing this guy for a while and we're very alike in certain terms. The thing is he always asks me what we should do and i keep saying don't know and the same with him when i ask what he would like to do.

Does it annoy men when a woman doesn't know what to do?

Why don't you tell him to call you when he has something particular in mind. This will encourage him to take a bit more responsibility.

On the other hand, if you are asking him to "hang out" or whatever, YOU should have something in mind when you ask.

[Gigabitch]

My ex and I used to do that all the time. We eventually came up with this: one person would make three suggestions and the other had to choose one of them. It worked pretty well.

[Kellie_Sabrina]

My ex and I used to do that all the time. We eventually came up with this: one person would make three suggestions and the other had to choose one of them. It worked pretty well.

This so sounds like me & Hunter! We have a tactic as well... He makes the decision for one date, & I decide the plans for the next, & so on. It is kind of a maturity blow when he says, "Nope... your turn!"

Oh, but I love him anyways! Sometimes you just have to compromise!

[kappazetta777]

There's a number of varieties in the way a guy acts that will tell you if he minds or not, but I'd say for the most part guys don't seem to worry about it too much if you don't have plans, I don't think they usually mind. At least I don't and alot of my friends are like that, we're okay with just relaxing sometimes. Then again you of course don't want to spend all your days in front of the TV with him or somewhere, or just making out just because you feel like it, it takes time to get to know eachother so I find doing things together helps. And it can be something simple....taking a nice walk together, talking things through, even weird things about yourselves which can help a conversation.

One key thing though is to watch his body language, how does he react when you say you have no ideas or plans? Does he make a face? Does he kind of shrug it off? Or does he just kind of go silent and stares blankly? It can tell you a bit more just by those responses. Here's a few things that I think can help:

1) If he... makes a face when you say that, usually almost an annoyed or disgusted look, maybe rolls his eyes. He likely is feeling bored but doesn't want to say anything to offend you and feels you should come up with an idea.

2) If he... kind of shrugs his shoulders and maybe moves his lips some way, it usually means "I don't know either, doesn't really bother me either way."

3) If he... hardly or doesn't respond to you, he is either thinking of something else and doesn't really care much (could be something bothering him even), or he really didn't hear you, or perhaps he has some ideas but might doubt or lack the confidence to say what he really wants to do, thinking you may not like his ideas.

One other thing I'm wondering, Guin, is who asks the question first, you or him? That will tell you alot, the fact that you're inquiring on here makes me think it could be you who usually has to ask him what he wants to do. Maybe you're bored with the relationship right now and his lack of action or response is holding things back from going further. And yes as Kellie_Sabrina suggested, it could just be the way he is, guys tend to lean toward not planning alot and not expressing their feelings as much as women (or as easily) from my experience. Yet some guys do.... test some things out and talk to him, try to get him out places and get to know him better, maybe he has a hard time opening up. Just my thoughts...hope I've helped.