wtf should i do?

**bugmenot** · 25-04-06, 08:10 AM

Right, i am male and i Have strong felings for a close female friend (lets call her "Dawn"), it got to a point where lying to her was tearing me apart, so i told her how i felt, and as i expected, she didn't reciprocate, but we still stayed friends, and got closer because of it, it got to a point where she was actually considering going out with me, we even went out a few times as friends, but then suddenly everything changed, and now she doesn't like to talk to me, and never smiles when im around, but when she doesn't know im there she is always happy, and a few days ago she finally said she hates me, but then she started being nice again, and then went back again and keeps switching round, also, her love life has been littered with bombs (every single boy she's ever liked or been out with has humiliated/emotionally hurt her), one of them is my best friend (she says she used to like him, but its obvious she still does, and he always hurts her, but when i ask him to stop he just laughs), everyone else but me seems to be cruel to her, and every now and again i challenge someone about what they say about her (im a non-violent cowardly wimp, but the snide remarks make my blood boil) she has a go at me! Everytime i try to help her she hurts me, and watching her get hurt hurts me, theres nothing i can do, and its been depressing me, last time i stopped someone she said i didn't understand her, so what dont i get? She changed over night ffs, because of her i feel like shit all the time, yet if she smiles at me im under her spell once again! I cant get over her either, what should i do?

**vashti** · 25-04-06, 08:43 AM

If you want to get over her, stop hanging out with her and trying to be her friend. Once you have the status of a friend, it is very unlikely the relationship will evolve into anything more.

I think she KNOWS you are a good guy, and she KNOWS she should like you, and is remorseful that she can't reciprocate the feeling. That is why she is mean to you one day, and nice the next.

Just move on, sweety. There is a girl out there who will appreciate you for who you are.

**bugmenot** · 25-04-06, 03:02 PM

but how can i move on? if i don't see here im ok, but the second i see her my heart falls in love with her all over again!

**bugmenot** · 25-04-06, 03:19 PM

also, as she's always been treated like shit by boys i got her some things for valentines day (Roses, a box of chocolates and a card with a nice message (alright then, a poem i wrote!) inside) to make her feel good, yet she never even mentioned anything about them to me apart from what my friend said about them "wtf, who would send you flowers!", she seems to like being hurt, but i cant hurt as it hurts me 10x more

i just dont get it, we used to talk for hours upon hours and got on so well, now she doesnt even want me around

**dreamer101** · 25-04-06, 06:49 PM

I agree with Vashti mate.

but how can i move on?

Simply avoid her. Period. staying friends with her will cause you even more grief, as you've already said. so don't do it to yourself. there will be plenty of other girsl that will appreciate you. end of the day, it is and will be her loss.

I think she KNOWS you are a good guy, and she KNOWS she should like you, and is remorseful that she can't reciprocate the feeling. That is why she is mean to you one day, and nice the next.

I did not know this. Some things now make sense. thankyou.

**bugmenot** · 26-04-06, 05:17 AM

hmmmm, ive found out that she feels the same as me (full blown, but unanounced love) for someone else

damn im confused!

**bugmenot** · 27-04-06, 07:10 AM

today she was being friendly, i tried not to be near her, but students have set seats, its so bloody hard because every time i see her i fall in love with her all over again. i try and tell myself no, but my head doesn't love her, my heart does, and i cant lie to it

**dono** · 28-04-06, 01:08 AM

Okay buggy it's pretty obvious that you aren't taking any of the advice posted on here...

Why would you ask for help if you had the intent on not taking the advice! Stop hanging around her if you want it to stop hurting...

**bugmenot** · 28-04-06, 03:10 AM

Originally Posted by dono

Okay buggy it's pretty obvious that you aren't taking any of the advice posted on here...

Why would you ask for help if you had the intent on not taking the advice! Stop hanging around her if you want it to stop hurting...

i am listening, but the tutors make us sit in set seats, and mine is next to here, i delierately keep away at all other times, but i cannot there

**bugmenot** · 16-05-06, 04:32 AM

great, now she is ignoring me, pretending i dont exist, im trying to take your advice, but its soo hard to get over her. Maybe i deserve this somehow...

**Gigabitch** · 16-05-06, 04:59 AM

Maybe you should learn to respect yourself before expecting her to.

Listen, Bug, she needs someone strong in her life to protect her from the ravening hoarde of animals that surrounds you both. (Where the hell do you go to school, anyway? Meantown?)

You want her? Can you give me any reason why she should want you? Clearly, she's not impressed by "nice guy" stuff. I think she wants a meal, not a snack.

**bugmenot** · 16-05-06, 03:53 PM

Listen, Bug, she needs someone strong in her life to protect her from the ravening hoarde of animals that surrounds you both. (Where the hell do you go to school, anyway? Meantown?)

but if i ever try, she just starts to take her anger about the situation on me, and ues there are some mean people!

You want her? Can you give me any reason why she should want you?

no, but we were friends, but now she seems to hate me for caring

Clearly, she's not impressed by "nice guy" stuff. I think she wants a meal, not a snack.

i know she likes the people that are cruel to her, but i don't have the heart to do that. Maybe thers something underlying that makes her like these kind of people?

Meal not a snack?

**bugmenot** · 18-05-06, 03:19 AM

yes! finally i have a concise answer from her

she doesnt like me caring because she thinks i'm being possesive, now being totally honest, i don't know what she means, anybody wish to help me?

**Gigabitch** · 18-05-06, 03:48 AM

I think that was a crap answer from her. I think she's emotionally screwed up, and doesn't know what's good for her.

She likes people who are cruel to her the same way an abused dog will crawl up to you and flop over, exposing it's tender underbelly, as if to say, "I'm completely at your mercy, and no threat to you whatsoever."

She doesn't respect anyone who thinks well of her. I don't think being abusive would help, anyway, because she'd probably know you were bluffing, and that's a bad thing to do to her anyway.

**Ellynn** · 18-05-06, 03:54 AM

It means that she Doesn't like you like that and does not want you to bother her or be concerned about her...even though you obviously are!

Maybe take that as a hint to back off... Ignore her, like she is ignoring you. You need to move on. THis girl will more then likely never have feelings for you like you do for her...

Honestly there is NOTHING wrong with you! There are girls out there that like a nice guy....but SHE is NOT one of them...

YOu have to let her fall on her face and move on with your life and find someone who appreciates you for YOU. The more you dwell on her and hope she will suddenly change her mind......The more its gonna destroy you!

We are only trying to offer you advice..because we see the whole picture from you describing it.... And you obviously don't because you are blinded by your love for her... Heck, thats happened to almost all of us! But thats why they have these message boards so you can get unbiased advice....

Its up to you whether to take it or not..........but at least we told you so....

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