snooping is dumb :-(

[Tycho13]

You know, everyone has friends that they innocently flirt with. I'd never lead guys on or give the impression i was "seriously" flirting, but sometimes I like to make risque jokes, it's funny.
Yet it bothers me if my s.o. flirts, especially if it's on the phone or over the internet rather than while hanging out with a group of people. I have his myspace password because I do all the decorative stuff on his page for him. While I was looking at some messages he had sent me, I came across messages he sent to a friend of his that he dated for a while several years ago. I feel bad for snooping, but still, seeing all these flirtatious messages makes me kind of jealous. Of course I can't say anything and they don't contact each other very often. I won't be snooping anymore either.. but still, how to look at this in perspective instead of letting my imagination tell me he wants her really bad? He thinks it's funny to hit on her and sometimes tells me about her responses when he does, because he thinks it's funny. She's an ex of one of his best friends and I don't feel threatened, but can't help feeling jealous. Makes me not want to meet her, even though he's told me I would like her and he'd love to introduce us. thoughts?

[bluesummer]

I think the title of your thread says it all.

Look what a mess it gets you into? I say what's good for the goose is good for the gander (in other words, if you do it with other guys, you have no right to freak out when he does the same with other girls).

Do you think he is an untrustworthy, disloyal person? If not, let it go.

[Ellynn]

Well he was very open about everything..... He told you pretty much all about it... and why he does it... Honestly I wouldn't look too far into it... Plus he wants the two of you to meet! I mean if he had something going on with her he would be secretive and WOULD NOT want you two to meet!

As for you, you do the same thing... You like to flirt...but its harmless and he knows it...

As for myspace.....you can't really take that place seriously... People throw comments around like its nothing....becuz it pretty much is..

You just have to learn to trust him....cuz if you don't....then you pretty much have nothing..

[Tycho13]

I trust him unreservedly. I guess I just can't help the occassional bout of hypocritical jealousy, and I like to talk about it anonymously so it doesn't make the real me look petty. Thanks for answering, though, you guys.

[mini696]

Feeling are uncontrollable, but your actions are.

In other words... You say you can trust him, so do that... Dont snoop, because you'll find whatever it is that you are looking for even if its not there.

[wengyan]

i say snoop.. ever heard bout the ' ladder theory'. Hmm... perhaps you should look it up in the net. I am sure you will find some interesting fact that you might relate to.

[bluesummer]

Don't even go there buddy. The ladder theory is the biggest load of misogynist bullshit I've ever read.

[kreestar]

I had my own incident with snooping. And I thought I caught my BF looking at porn. It turns out his friend had sent it to him. Lovely.

[Ellynn]

I had my own incident with snooping. And I thought I caught my BF looking at porn. It turns out his friend had sent it to him. Lovely.

Hehe......but most guys DO look at porn anyways!!! I know my ex did. Didn't bother me at all... Now if it was naked pics of his ex or something...then it would bother me.

[Tycho13]

Yeah, I look at porn sometimes. I'm sure he does too. That kind of stuff doesn't bother me. I'm big on privacy, just sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me.

But you're so right, whoever said that you'll find something whether it's there or not.
The "ladder theory" is kind of cute and funny but I'm not paranoid, it's not like I think he wants to bang all of his girlfriends.

[Illusional]

haha sometimes, when you go looking for trouble you actually find it, then you don't want it anymore, yet it's too late. got it?

i would bring it up with him if i were you. i'm not the jealous type either and i could care less if my gf flirted with other guys because i am the trusting type. she can talk all she wants to, yet she will come home to me. if you feel that you can live with that sort of mentality then everything is fine. if not, then it will always bother you so you might as well bring it up with him.

raverboy