I need desperate help!

[ILoveRLACV]

I need help. I need help bad. I just broke up with my girlfriend and I want her back. I broke up with her because i was confused and i didnt know what i was doing. For me 6 months is a long time. Longest i've been with anyone and i didnt know if i really wanted to make a commitment with her or not. I talked to her and told her i was confused and i also told her i didnt know what i was doing. I broke up with her then because I didnt want to hurt her if i didn't want the commitment. Right as I broke up with her I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I knew after that i wanted the commitment, I wanted her back. I love her so much and shes not coming back. I would expect her to be back right away but shes not. When we were together she was always saying, "You never come to my games (softball). I really want you to come." I could never go because i was always busy. But 2 days after i broke with her i went to one hoping it would shower her im commited to getting her back. The first time she was at bat she struck out. She got pissed and threw her helmet on the ground of the dugout. About 5 min after one of the other players on the team who obviously knew the situation came over and said, "Could you go and sit somewhere else, you kinda of pissing people off." So I went back home with my heart ****ing broken and I dont know what to do. Can someone help?

[King Zarathu]

You never said you actually had a conversation with her... Did you expect that going to a game would say everything you have in your head?

Also, I would tell you how "rude" it was for treating her that way, but you probably already know that.

Sounds like you need to just have a conversation with her, a 6-month deal isn't bad, but it also sounds like you're both young. Take it easy man, if she doesn't want you back then you'll eventually have to move on. Just because you want to be committed doesn't mean you have to emotionally depend on her.

[ILoveRLACV]

I didn't want to tell her I was coming because I thought she might be happy suprised and excited that I had shown up. We are both in High School but we have a solid relationship. I just need some advice man I going crazy.

[Ellynn]

I know you were trying to surprise her and all.....but don't you think she was a little upset with you and maybe didn't want to see you?

Try talking to her. Explain to her what you explained to us.... Write her a letter, tell her face to face....whatever... But, at least let her know....how you feel.

If she hasn't moved on, she may consider what your saying.....and give you another chance...that is...if she trusts u won't just up and dump her again someday....

But if she has moved on......then you know theres no hope and then you need to move on. YOu also need to realize that you need to CAREFULLY think out things before making any HUGE decisions that could really end up messing things up for you and hurting other people......

[ILoveRLACV]

How do i get her to start talking to me? Shes trying to ignore me. On instant messenger sumtimes she wont even answer. She'll answer hre phone when im calling then just hang up right away. I mean how do i get her to speak to me?

[Ellynn]

Well..can you blame her for being pissed off? I would be too....if a guy i was dating (and getting along with great) suddenly ended things without much of an explaination. That would make me feel like absolute sh*t.

Then showing up when im concentrating on my game......to distract me?

I mean u can maybe send her a letter explaining things....but honestly, who knows if she will even read it? But I guess its worth a try if u at least want to explain to her why you did what you did......and see if theres anything there that can be salvaged....

But your still in high school......there will be alot of women yet that will come and go. This is all just a learning experience....and hopefully you will think clearly about the consequences before you make any big decisions...

[ILoveRLACV]

I talked to her last night.. she says she doesnt hate me... she just cant trust me... what does that mean? like she said i still love you but i cant have u do that to me again... i wont i know i wont how do i let her know i wont?

[ILoveRLACV]

She told me today that no matter what i say i can't change her mind. Is she just saying this in the heat of the breakup because it only happened 2 days ago? Or does she truly mean that? My friends have been telling me its the first one and that i still got a shot.

[greeneyedgirl23]

I say that if it only happend two days ago, you should give her some breathing room. If she has some space to clear her head, you may have a shot.

I think that she obvioulsly can't shut her feelings off or make them dissapear, and that you may just need to let her think things over. Don't push her, she will talk to you when she is ready to talk. Right now, on her point of view, you are chasing her...this is flattering for a girl (or guy) but I don't reccommend it. It may cause this to turn into a game, and game playing is something you should avoid. Let her contact you next!!!

I hope everything works out for you....

Let us know..

[Gigabitch]

For all she knows, you'll just change your mind again. Write her a letter and then back off. Don't disappear, just let her think. You messed her up. Maybe she'll give you a second chance after she has some time to consider.

You might have blown it, showing up to her game like that. Don't do that again.

[ILoveRLACV]

I appologized for being so abrupt and told her i really wanted to be with her and I loved her but since I love her i respect her decision. Hopefully this move will work... im hoping what happens is that i give her space and she clears her head and thinks wow this guy really appreciates me, this really means something. She says she really doesn't think she can do it again. I know what we had was real and if it was real and if i give her space she'll be back... right?

[greeneyedgirl23]

Haven't you heard the old saying??
"If you love someone set them free, if they come back, they are yours, if they don't, they never were"

This is something that I have seen proven true. True love can last over the toughest times..

[dreamer101]

..Hopefully this move will work..

I was going to recommend writing a hand-written letter. But then I read your last post. Unfortunately it is NOT about making moves to "be' with her simply because you miss her. Its about realising your mistake and the pain you caused her. Until you do that whats the point. On the other hand I hope that you have already realised so, and that I got the wrong interpretation from your post..

I am sorry for being so blunt, but as much as you desire her love, so much you should feel her pain.

[ILoveRLACV]

its pretty much set in stone now and its killing me. I feel like nothing matters any more. Im not hungry, not tired, dont give a crap about school. I can't see myself with anyone else. I don't wanna see myself with anyone else. She seems like shes getting over so easily and she okay now. I'm glad shes ok but i hate it. It's like we never happened. I don't know waht to do. I feel like i dont matter any more. Help.

[vashti]

I think you should allow yourself time to grieve properly (maybe a week maximum for every month you were dating) and then force yourself to stop. You need to get on with your life, and no one can stand a pity party for too long.