I love my boyfriend, BUT....

[JustMe85]

I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, and I am happy with him and I love him, but there is one thing that I just cannot get out of the back of my mind. Some people might find this to be a bit superficial, but I cannot let go of the fact that my boyfriend was convicted of a felony a few years ago. He told me about this very early on in the relationship, and I still let myself get attatched, knowing very well that this would be an issue for us. He was convicted of a drug trafficing felony when he made the stupid mistake when he was 19 to drive a friend of his to a drug deal. Since he had supplied the transportation (never even tried the drug himself), he and his friend were both given the same punishment for the crime. He was put on two years of probation and had to pay back alot of money to the courts. He has since completed his probation with abosolutely no problems, and the money was paid back promptly. He is currently attending college, and will graduate next year with a bachelors in business. He is a great guy, who made a dumb mistake, but I cannot help but to be selfish and think of how this is going to affect my future. I am currently in nursing school, and I have a job lined up for me and everything...I just want the same good things for him. Please help!

[vashti]

Does he use drugs of any kind?

[Ellynn]

Hes not using right?
You said he never touched a drug in his life. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Got caught.....and it was all a stupid mistake.

We all make mistakes. It sounds to me like he learned his lesson and learned to choose better people to hang around with.

Unfortunately a felony can really mess up his chances at getting a decent job. I mean some places might overlook it...but I think that might be the biggest challenge.

As for your relationship with him, its good he was honest with you. I dated a guy who didn't tell me he was on probation until after we were together awhile. That honestly kinda pissed me off. But he was afraid I wouldnt have given him a chance. Sad thing is he didn't really learn his lesson....and I found that out later.

But if your bf is honestly trying to turn his life around....why punish him for something that happened that he cannot change. I mean he knows already he did wrong, and is trying to do right. But honestly, its up to you what YOU want. Do you trust him.....and love him enough to stay with him?

[LonelyNight]

the important thing is the future, not the past

[greeneyedgirl23]

If your boyfriend has never even tried the drug, you shouldn't be so stressed out about this. It happened when he was at a different time in his life. You said he was 19 and made a mistake...this is true... he is getting his bachelors in business and seems to have a pretty clear head on his shoulders about this now.
How will this effect your future? Don't dwell on something that happened in the past, it will only drive you crazy, and you can't do anything about it anyway. Just look ahead to your bright future with him!!

[pinkpuca84]

yea...i agree...there's nothing wrong with him. he's just at the wrong place at the wrong time. forget about it, move on with ur life, the future will take care of itself.

[boobaa]

Why do you think it is going to affect your life?
You are bothered with just the fact that he convicted a crime or a fact that he spent two years in prison? Or you think there is possibility that prison left some kind of marks to him what you don't know?

He hasn't murdered anybody, so wtf. Driving a car to a drug deal is actually nothing, if I hadn't money, i would probably do the same thing, it is just a driving. I think you are stupid.

[vashti]

Actually, if this girl ends up marrying this guy, it COULD affect her future. Having a felony record is NOT nothing, and could affect your future employment, etc.. Sometimes the mistakes we make can last a lifetime.

Also, this girl didn't say he doesn't use any drugs of any kind - she said he didn't use THAT drug. If he is using ANYTHING at all, I would give him the boot, because you never know when he will be busted again.

If he is not using anything, and is pretty much the equivelent of a church choir boy, then you might want to consider whether or not you can live with his mistake.

[confused01]

ok were is this girl (justme85) anyways, she didn't seem to answer anyones reply.
i think it'll affect your future but if you really love him and he loves you as you said, it should be ok, if it's that's what you are looking for in your life.

[greeneyedgirl23]

She said he was on PROBATION for 2 years....not in Prison

[TAVS]

What a bitch. He deserves way better than you.
My friend has a fellony and has a job with Frontier Airlines; don't buy into that scare tactic.

[vashti]

Of course, being employed somehwere is possible for a felon, but here are a list of jobs that a felon will have a hard time getting, since they can be denied a license to practice based on a felony conviction:


1. Architects (CGS § 20-294).

2. Private detectives, watchmen, guards, and patrol services (CGS § 29-158).

3. Professions under the jurisdiction of the Department of Public Health specifically including healing arts, medicine and surgery, osteopathy, chiropractic, natureopathy, podiatry, physical therapists, nursing, nurse’s aides, dentistry, optometry, opticians, psychologists, marital and family therapists, clinical social workers, professional counselors, veterinary medicine, massage therapists, dietician-nutritionists, acupuncturists, paramedics, embalmers and funeral directors, barbers, hairdressers and cosmeticians, and hypertrichologists (CGS § 19-17 and various other statutes).

4. Attorneys (CGS § 51-91a).

5. Judges, family support magistrates, workers’ compensation commissioners (CGS § 51-51i).

6. Radiographers and radiologic technologists (CGS § 20-74cc).

7. Midwives (CGS § 20-86h).

8. Licensed: electricians; plumbers; heating, piping, and cooling contractors and journeymen; elevator contractors and craftsmen; solar contractors and journeymen; fire protection sprinkler contractors and journeymen; irrigation contrators and journeymen; sheet metal contractors and journeymen; and automotive and flat glass contractors and journeymen.

9. Major contractors (CGS § 20-341gg).

10. Lead abatement consultants, contractors, and workers (CGS § 20-481).

11. Public service gas technicians (CGS § 20-540).

12. Certified public accountants (CGS § 20-281a).

13. Psychologists (CGS § 20-192).

14. Individuals and businesses selling insurance (CGS §§ 38a-702k and 38a-660(h)).

15. Licensed social workers (CGS § 20-195p).

16. Athlete agents (CGS § 20-559e).

[url]http://www.cga.ct.gov/2005/rpt/2005-R-0311.htm[/url]

[JustMe85]

Thanks to everyone for there honest input. My boyfriend does not do drugs, he was never in jail, and I am not a bitch for sharing a doubt that I have. I believe if you were in the same place as me that you would have the same thoughts, whether you choose to believe that or not. I am in love with him, and I obviously am willing to stay with him....this is just something that I need to deal with.

[HeyYouGuy]

All honesty I say take a good hard look at what you got. Sounds like a great guy, dont let the one mistake ruin how you think of him. Just try not to dwell on it to much or try and face it and think how good he has been and that it was just a mistake. Mistakes happen. You both seem like cool people, wish ya both best of luck!

[Ellynn]

Thanks to everyone for there honest input. My boyfriend does not do drugs, he was never in jail, and I am not a bitch for sharing a doubt that I have. I believe if you were in the same place as me that you would have the same thoughts, whether you choose to believe that or not. I am in love with him, and I obviously am willing to stay with him....this is just something that I need to deal with.

Good for you! And no your not a bitch for having doubts. Honestly I would have them too. But keep in mind the present and how you honestly feel. If your happy and he is....thats all that matters. Good Luck to you!