how to initiate this

[Painfulheart]

How do i initiate a possible relationship with someone who is already taken?

but quickly i must add, im not meaning how do i break a couple up. More of how do i let her know im interested if anything between them was to end.

I met someone and ive gotten some very very strong signals that she is interested.

her boyfriend lives 4 hours drive away, and from what i gather they dont see each other hardly at all. (she only mentioned him cos she had to)

from being at the same uni for 4 weeks, and only actually talking 3 times, i was asked for my phone number, invited to her birthday party, she even asked marriage and children questions out of the blue. (and then theres the flirting), plus she seemed to know a lot about me (ie classes, where i sit and that)

We also met up during a holdiay break, just to study. And am seing her again for another study session in 3 - 4 days

I missed her party due to work, so was thinking of inviting her out for a few drinks (but am worried thats too forward)

Other than over the top flirting (which is only way i can think of showing i like her) i have no idea what to do.

Any suggestions would be great.

[RogerWilco]

Inviting her for some drinks sounds like a good idea, and shouldn't be too forward (especially when she's the one who invited you to her birthday party after hardly knowing you).

At some point, when you're comfortable doing it, it might not hurt to say to her something like "You know, I think I'd really enjoy dating you, we have a lot of fun. Let me know if you're single again."

[confused01]

not bad rogerwilco
i agree with him

[airborn86]

Hey paintful heart, I totally know what you are going through. I know this girl who has a boyfriend who lives in Canada (we live in Sweden) and we are like best friends. We have even made out a couple of times and slepped in the same bed (no sex). Her friends told me she has a huge crush and me, the same way I have a crush on her. The only problem is her boyfriend. As long as she has a boyfriend, there will be nothing between us. I suggest you go ahead and try to gain her heart but just be careful so she doesn't toy around with you like my friend is doing with me, that will just break you heart.

[vashti]

I think you should avoid "dating" her as a way to protect YOURSELF. Besides, if she IS dating you while she has a boyfriend, you will ultimately lose your respect for her and you won't trust her if/when you guys get together.

Just man up and tell her you are interested in dating her, and she should let you know when she gives up the boyfriend.

[Ellynn]

Hanging out with her and getting to know her is a good thing...... Cuz she may or may not be all that you think she is. But....also......let her know that her bf is a lucky guy. Just saying that....will let her know your interested. But you also have to keep in mind....that even though its a long distance thing....it may work out between them and you might get nothing out of it. So be careful....

[innocentguy]

invite her out and just try and have sex with her.
if she's seeing you while having a boyfriend then its whatever about that guy....who cares what he thinks she obviously doesnt.

[Ellynn]

invite her out and just try and have sex with her.
if she's seeing you while having a boyfriend then its whatever about that guy....who cares what he thinks she obviously doesnt.

Um, a female CAN have guy friends.... And becuz he likes her.....he may mistake her being nice as flirting....

He should not force anything.....

[innocentguy]

girls are always looking for the bigger better deal.
maybe she just does want to be friends, but why havent you hit it yet?
Theres a fine line with guys when it comes to being friends and not, if she wants to just be friends she should express that to you, otherwise she's leading you on, and or just wants to use you for sex.

i say just go for it. at least this way you know for sure...instead of wonder what coudl have been

[Painfulheart]

I deffinately wont do anything while she has a b/f.

ive been down that path before and shall never do it again.

Ive also hit the friend mark before, and been stuck there, so im trying not to get too friendly.

Im considering saying something like

"i feel terrible i missed your birthday and wanna make it up to you, so i want to take you out for a few birthday drinks. Im sure you said you had a b/f, so dont worry, i wont try any funny business...yet" (nudge nudge wink wink)

end with a joke, with true intentions slighlty showing.

[Gigabitch]

That sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

Buy her a coffee or something. You know damn well that if you go out drinking, you'll end up in bed together. Then she'll get all emotionally freaked out, feel guilty, possibly blame you for what happened.... yuck.

Tell her straight up you wish she was single, because you'd like to date her.

[Painfulheart]

if going out for drinks led to bed

which im 100% sure it wouldnt.

I would say no, while she has boyfriend

tell her if he wasnt in picture yes, but not while your both attatched

[innocentguy]

go for it dude take her out for drinks.
be a man, **** this other person she's dating...is he a friend of yours?
she knows what drinking entails...
i say go for it you only live once.

[vashti]

That sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

Buy her a coffee or something. You know damn well that if you go out drinking, you'll end up in bed together. Then she'll get all emotionally freaked out, feel guilty, possibly blame you for what happened.... yuck.

Tell her straight up you wish she was single, because you'd like to date her.

Great minds think alike.