Saw my ex in public yesterday... NC is ruined?

[coldheart]

I saw her yesterday at a local sports bar that is very busy on Wednesdays. She was not particularly with anybody, just surrounded by friends and some family. I sat on the opposite side and was with my best friend and some nice girl that I am friends with. My ex seemed as if life was good and nothing ever happened. Maybe it's just a front, maybe not, but it looks offly natural.

I'm kind of feeling good that I am shipped out her things yesterday. Surprised that I am handling it the way that I am... it was a 2-year relationship and perhaps THE ONE. Oh well it has been on my mind since I woke up this morning and I have been wondering if her seeing me with friends/females is a good or bad thing, or if it has totally gone against my NC.

CH

[Gigabitch]

... it was a 2-year relationship and perhaps THE ONE.

Perhaps not. Maybe if it was THE ONE, you'd care it's over.

Oh well it has been on my mind since I woke up this morning and I have been wondering if her seeing me with friends/females is a good or bad thing, or if it has totally gone against my NC.

Okay, sometimes I can be a total bimbo. Will someone please clarify the term "NC"

[TAVS]

you did not break NC; dont worry about it.
But I still say she's gone and she is certainlty not The One....by definition.

[xwfuro]

your gonna run into her it happens, i have ran into my ex multiple times.. its almost better in a way because it challeneges your feelings.. Give it a little more time and youll think of her less and less man your doing good. i know its tough but stick in there.

[RogerWilco]

Okay, sometimes I can be a total bimbo. Will someone please clarify the term "NC"

Then call be Barbi, because I have no idea either. I'm GUESSING it stands for "no contact?" No idea why it's abbreviated . . . did I forget to read that page in the Manual of Life?

Never heard anyone use an abbreviation in that context before. It could just as easily mean North Carolina.

But I assume it's "no contact."?

[Tone]

LoL yeah I was the same way at first when I came to LF.. have to get use to the abbreviations people use.. takes a minute but yeah NC is No Contact on LF (Love Forum).

[dono]

pop, http, gopher, ssh, ihop, bmw, bingo... uhh.... finger

[TAVS]

I miss the days of gopher; archie and finger.

[xxwildchildxx]

Even I'm having a hard time figuring out what's going on here lol...

[Lynx3]

My ex seemed as if life was good and nothing ever happened. Maybe it's just a front, maybe not, but it looks offly natural.
I'm kind of feeling good that I am shipped out her things yesterday. Surprised that I am handling it the way that I am... it was a 2-year relationship and perhaps THE ONE.

Sounds to me like you are *crying* about it still. Just forget it and see other people. Doesn't it depress you to think it was THE ONE and think how her life is without you? Plus, if you broke up, it wasnt THE ONE. 2 years is a long time so I guess you'd still be hurt, but I suggest you forget it and *try again*...

[anakin8823]

Never been in that situation, but Im in a similar one now, and everyone tells me "out of sight, out of mind"... doesn't seem to be working though... you said you felt like you were doing well... do me a favor and tell me your secret, bc I'm not doing too well...

[coldheart]

Never been in that situation, but Im in a similar one now, and everyone tells me "out of sight, out of mind"... doesn't seem to be working though... you said you felt like you were doing well... do me a favor and tell me your secret, bc I'm not doing too well...

Anakin, It's been almost 2 weeks since visual contact, and all I can say is that "out of sight/out of mind" DOES work. At first I had some friends telling me that I need to "sharpen my sword" or "thicken my skin" by seeing her in public and even with a date if that's the case. I don't think so. I am fine the way that I am. As it is I moved to a town that is about 30 minutes away from hers and I am loving it.

I am doing FULL NC. That means not even contacting common friends for the time being. I believe that after a certain amount of time that healing does it's majic, I will no longer be nervous or anxious by seeing my ex in public, and instead I will just see her and smile... (Not a fake forced smile, but a natural one. One that suggests that I wish her the best in life and genuine hapiness).

All these things sound easy to do, but are very challenging to put into practice. it sucks when we know what we have to do, but our emotions disagree and fight to draw us in the opposite direction. Stay strong man, we will make it through. I am convinced about it!

-CH

[jay12]

Ahh the old NC. . . how that brings back some not so fond memories. Its been a while since i've had to do that . . . about a year since mine started. And let me tell you - it works like a charm!! Best advice i ever got from this board. There used to be a sticky at the top which basically was a chronology of events that go on after you've been dumped, now that was gold!! anyone remember???

You have to do it!! After a year of NC i am at a stage where i havnt seen my ex and teh only disadvantage is curiousity....but that is a lot better than longing.