i can't take it anymore

[cidiera]

so, I have been in a thing with this guy for a year, and I call it a thing because he could never call it a relationship. Well, The whole thing was me falling for him and him using that to get convenient sex. I've been slowly dragging the end of this out for the past six months because I kept hoping that he would see me for more than a warm place to spend the night...if you catch my drift, and it all slapped me in the face last night.

We were having a really good couple of weeks, talking, laughing...having phenomenal sex like I've never experienced before...and, so I thought, connecting like we never had before...and I thought that maybe he might finally feel like I do...maybe I finally did or said the right thing that touched his heart in the way that he needed to let him finally take that step...the endless, stupid hope that made me go back every time for the last year.

So, we made dinner plans for this week (cause it's been a year as of the 15th), and then, when finalizing the plans...he threw in a quick, casual line about not wanting a relationship into the conversation. I didn't let on, but it crushed me, cause I really thought that he was finally feeling it. So, I cancelled plans at the last minute...thinking to myself, "why am I going out to an anniversary dinner when I'm the only one getting any meaning from it? What the hell am I doing to myself?" It's been a year...he doesn't now nor will he ever want the same thing I do. There was a cycle to it...almost as regular as my periods. We would get along so well for a couple of weeks and have great sex, then I would start to approach him with my feelings, we would fight for a couple of weeks, not talk for a couple of weeks, one of us would call, and it would start all over again.

And it's completely changed me. I feel like this year has slowly chipped away at the fun, outgoing, active person I used to be and left a bitter, insecure, shell of a person. I gave so much to a man who didn't deserve it, and it left me with nothing. zip, zilch, zero.

So, today I took this guy at work up on an offer to go out for St. Patty's day tonight...to try and get my mind off of this other guy...and I got stood up...not what I needed at all.

I think God is trying to tell me to focus on myself right now...or to become asexual alltogether. I'm not really sure which, yet.

[HeyYouGuy]

Well, if its been a year then i dont think waiting any longer will help. If your still feeling bad from that then just worry about yourself for now. Or if you want to meet someone realy bad you can call me at.... lol jk. Just probly hold off a bit and meet others becouse he sounds like real ass if its been a year.

[cidiera]

He is a real ass, but I'm the one who stuck around for a year with an ass when it was painfully obvious the whole time he would never change his mind about things. So that makes me a real ass times 3.

[HeyYouGuy]

He is a real ass, but I'm the one who stuck around for a year with an ass when it was painfully obvious the whole time he would never change his mind about things. So that makes me a real ass times 3.

Dont say that, im sure your not. Some people just have alot of faith in people. It is him who should have made it more clear that there would never be a relationship. Becouse it sounds like he probly didnt try his best to do that so he could still get to your body.

[xwfuro]

so, I have been in a thing with this guy for a year, and I call it a thing because he could never call it a relationship. Well, The whole thing was me falling for him and him using that to get convenient sex. I've been slowly dragging the end of this out for the past six months because I kept hoping that he would see me for more than a warm place to spend the night...if you catch my drift, and it all slapped me in the face last night.

We were having a really good couple of weeks, talking, laughing...having phenomenal sex like I've never experienced before...and, so I thought, connecting like we never had before...and I thought that maybe he might finally feel like I do...maybe I finally did or said the right thing that touched his heart in the way that he needed to let him finally take that step...the endless, stupid hope that made me go back every time for the last year.

So, we made dinner plans for this week (cause it's been a year as of the 15th), and then, when finalizing the plans...he threw in a quick, casual line about not wanting a relationship into the conversation. I didn't let on, but it crushed me, cause I really thought that he was finally feeling it. So, I cancelled plans at the last minute...thinking to myself, "why am I going out to an anniversary dinner when I'm the only one getting any meaning from it? What the hell am I doing to myself?" It's been a year...he doesn't now nor will he ever want the same thing I do. There was a cycle to it...almost as regular as my periods. We would get along so well for a couple of weeks and have great sex, then I would start to approach him with my feelings, we would fight for a couple of weeks, not talk for a couple of weeks, one of us would call, and it would start all over again.

And it's completely changed me. I feel like this year has slowly chipped away at the fun, outgoing, active person I used to be and left a bitter, insecure, shell of a person. I gave so much to a man who didn't deserve it, and it left me with nothing. zip, zilch, zero.

So, today I took this guy at work up on an offer to go out for St. Patty's day tonight...to try and get my mind off of this other guy...and I got stood up...not what I needed at all.

I think God is trying to tell me to focus on myself right now...or to become asexual alltogether. I'm not really sure which, yet.

OK basically all of what you just said sums up my old relationship except i am a guy and my gf just drug my along on a string , i basically liked her so much id do anything to make her happy. she would dump me for someone and then when they were done she starts calling me again etc. ANYWAYS dont do this to yourself i am telling you from 100% experiance in that exact sitaution your going to get hurt sooner or later, and later is always worse.you did the right thing to break off so called 'anniversary' plans when he doesnt even want a relationship, he sounds like a immature jerk to me :/

burn bridges sever all ties.

[Converse]

Sounds like he was leading you on or messing you around, why would he want to go out for a anniversary meal if he didn't want to date you? Weird, plus this 'arrangement' has been going on for quite a while I bet that kinda felt like you were dating him.

I think you should stop all contact with him he's not worth your time, you can do so much better! Hey ya never know he might come running back if you ignore him, then you can tell him to fawk off! Find your self a nice guy, there are some out there!

[King Zarathu]

If he's killing your self-esteem it's a big no-no. Leave before the situation gets worse.

[HeyYouGuy]

I think you should stop all contact with him he's not worth your time, you can do so much better! Hey ya never know he might come running back if you ignore him, then you can tell him to fawk off! Find your self a nice guy, there are some out there!

Im a nice guy lol. Yeah i agree.

[Only-virgins]

I think God is trying to tell me to focus on myself right now..

I think God is telling you that you are a hoe.

[King Zarathu]

I think God is telling you that you are a hoe.

It seems that I laugh my ass off to nearly all of your posts.

[cidiera]

That's funny that I'm the hoe and he's not when you consider the difference of our reasons we were in it. Will you men ever figure out what you want? How many times have I heard a man b!tch about how their gf's just lie there like a blow-up doll during sex then have the same man turn around and call a woman who knows how to please a man a hoe. Yeah, I like sex...sorry if you don't.

Anyway....

[Late_vamp]

hey at least you know how to have some fun in the sack ... glad to hear your not like the ohter 4 million coprses in bed ... i had an ex like that ... how boring ... woulnt even have anything close to rough sex with her .

[cidiera]

exactly, and just because a woman likes sex doesn't mean she likes to do it with everyone.

but back on subject, bridges have been burnt as of yesterday...just have to clean up the rubble, now.