Month Without

[ibme]

Ive been going out with this girl for a year now but over the last month we just havent had sex at all!

I have asked a few times but everytime has just been a No. We have talked about it and she just doesnt feel like it just now. Not in the mood.

I survived for the first two weeks its not like its the end of the world but after that I was masterbating to relieve myself.

What does this mean for our relationship? Have I just got to ride it out? I cant help feeling that when we have sex its just whenever she wants and I do my best to pleasure her and make her happy when we do. Yet suddenly she decides she doesnt want to and ive just got to live with it till she wants to again, thats hardly fair on me? What about when I want to?

What do you guys think?

[Lisa123]

You should really talk with your girlfrind about it.
Asked her whats wrong

[ibme]

I have, she just isnt up for it just now. She's down and depressed just now some days. Think work is hard.

Do you think this is all it is or is it just covering up for something else? Seeing somone else or that?

[ibme]

I have, she just isnt up for it just now. She's down and depressed just now some days. Think work is hard.

Do you think this is all it is or is it just covering up for something else? Seeing somone else or that?

[NeoSeminole]

geez, some people are stupid. Why do you ask if he's talked to her about the problem? Of course he already has. In case you are clueless, most people come to an online forum as a second resort, not a first. I'd imagine he's talked to her several times already since the problem has been going on for a month. I hate when people say "ask her what's wrong" or "tell her how you feel." No shit. That's what anyone would have done first.

Sucks for you ibme. There's nothing you can do except deal with it or break up with her. I say dump her. Trust me, it will save you a lot of grief in the future. Your gf is not being fair if she thinks she doesn't need to satisfy you. If she doesn't want to have sex, fine. Why can't she give you oral instead? Try being emotionally distant with her for a few weeks and see how she reacts. Don't kiss. Don't cuddle. Don't take her out. Don't call her as much. I guarantee you she will throw a hissy fit. Stupid girls.

[TAVS]

PIITP x2

[Converse]

I haven't had sex for a month exactly, it sucks!

[blaneyboy2331]

How's the weather been lately where you're at? Weather has a HUGE affects on womens' emotions. I know my girlfriend's emotions are directly related to the weather, which are directly related to her sex drive. If it's dark and cold out, she is too. If it's warm, bright and sunny, I can't keep her off of me! There's actually a name for it, seasonal affective disorder, or SAD for short. Maybe that's a possibility?

[Debunkt]

oooookkkaayyy. Some weird ass answers going on in here.

First off, don't do the petty revenge thing "if she's not going to have sex with me I'll just be a jerk and then she'll come around." That'll do a lot more harm than good most of the time if you're actually interested in staying in this relationship. And the post above this one... that's just stupid. Human bodies don't work that way. Weather does not affect people's emotions. We may relate certain emotions to some weather, but its sure as hell not causal.

OP, you likely just need to be assertive. Don't just "ask" for sex as you said you're doing. Get into it. Do something nice for her, relieve her stress and get her in the mood. I'd think if she was stressed out some sex could do her some good. Then again, some women just don't have strong sex drives or won't until their late 20's or 30's. Just the way it is. If you can't handle that fact or change it, then its up to you to make a decision about staying in the relationship.

[Tone]

I agree with 'bunky.

[King Zarathu]

I haven't had sex for 6 weeks and it's ****ing terrible. Also, agreed with debunkt =\

[Pears]

I agree with Debunkt also.

Instead of asking her "Do you want to have sex?" get her in the mood. Since she has been depressed, pull her away from her work for a night and do some nice things. Decorate a room with some dim candles, nice scent, and flowers. Give her a massage and/or bubble bath. If you get her in the mood, you won't have to ask.

I know that it is frustrating for you and I've actually been in a similar situation. I found that the worst thing to do is to give an ultimatum or threaten breakup if she does not give you sex. Being physically active is very important to some people in a relationship and I do agree that it is not fair for you to sacrifice not being pleased for what she wants.

Think of things you can do to get her in the mood. Ask her what she likes and dislikes about sex and maybe you can find out how to improve it.

[clynn]

Yes, do things to get her in the mood. But do it with expectations of making her feel better adn apprecaited, not wtih expectations of sex.

i say that because she might feel more like sex not after just one night but after a few nights of relaxation and personal time.

For girls sex is often very related to the level of connection they are feeling. If I'm not feelng appreciated or loved I may not feel like having sex either.

Maybe you know that already.

[HeyYouGuy]

I pray the day that I have sex that i dont all of sudden become like most people and cant go anytime without sex even though my gf is haveing problems.... best thing you could do is give it a little more time. Im sure you and your hand were close alot longer before you met her so reintroduce youself lol.

[Debunkt]

I agree with 'bunky.

Also, agreed with debunkt

I agree with Debunkt also.

I know, I'm pretty awesome.
just kidding. Honestly, I'm very lucky because it took my girlfriend giving me this advice for me to know it. Its all about knowing exactly what you're partner thinks and wants and not beating around the bush and trying to guess what they want.