he's acting weird

[pinkpuca84]

hi all...
i'm new here...glad to know that there is such a forum to pour my heart out..hehe..anyway...dunno if you guys can help me,...or have any suggestion...here it goes; i've been liking this guy since i was in year 6...yea...he's my first big crush...nothing happened back then...but now for some reason we become in touch with each other after 9 years apart...we talk on MSN and he's always the one who called me me first. we became close. ever since i know him, he's this type of guy who doesn't open up his feeling easily. But he started to change...for a couple of times, we had deep discussion, and all that...i must admit i still like him so much, definitely more than just a friend anyway...

But, at the moment, we live so far apart, he's in my home country, and i live in Australia...we can only meet when i have university holiday...one of my female friend (she's pretty), she lives in the same city as him. She's just broke up from her boyfriend, and she's looking for a new one. she told me her feelings, and i comforted her, and we started to become close. then she asked me about my love life, then i told her that i like that guy (just say...his name is "P") he's our school mate while we were in grade 6.

The very next day, i knew from friendster, that she gave "P" a testimonial, very nice too...then there's also a reply from "p" for her. I immediately felt threatened. I was scared that she might want to woo him and take him away from me (not like he's mine already tho,...) cos she is rather a popular girl in our home town...many guys like her cos she's pretty. so i'm scared that "P" would like her too. which is the last thing that i want that to happen. altho, "P" is not the type of guy who falls in love easly. still...i am scared.

i have a serious self esteem problem, ever since i was little. just by thinking who my "competitor" is...i am scared to death. almost, i wanted to give up my hope on "p". cos i knew that i wouldnt have a chance of getting him to be mine. my female friend might have much bigger chance...cos they live in the same hometown, she's pretty...and all that. Whereas me and "p" live in different country (altho i'm planning to go back for goor by the end of my university semester) on that day, i was depressed (funny i know..)

i didnt talk much in MSN on that day that he tried to chat with me. he noticed that there's something wrong with me. so he kept on asking, actually i didnt want to tell him what happened, cos i was embarassed that he might think that i was weird. he got angry with me, cos i treated him differently. then i told him 'like u care!" then he said that he cared. and he was surprised when he knew that i thought he didnt care about me. short story...he got angry. He told me that he only had 2 best friends...i am one of them. thats why he cares if i treat him differently. so...finally i told him what happened. but i didnt mention that the guy that i like is him. i just told him "someone". i also told him about my concern that the girl might "take" him away from me. and i was so scared of losing him. i also told him that the girl might not treat my "someone" right. cos i know who this girl is. anyway...he comforted me. telling me that i shouldn't think too much, and just flow with the time. see what happens.

i suspect that he knew that the guy that i mentioned to him is actually him tho....cos he definitely knew that i was crazy about him when we were in grade 6. and up until now, i still treated him special, and pay more attention to him than anyone else). so im afraid he knows my feeling. and maybe...he knows that i still like him, and knows who the guy is.

since then...he hasnt talked to me like before. last time i asked him, he said that he's busy with his work. but i have this negative thoughts...is he trying to avoid me? i just feel that he might get dissapointed that i like him more than a friend. whereas he always treated me as his best friend...i dont know...

it's important to know that his mother is my mum's best friend, and she's currently sick (she got cancer), my mum told me that "P" would be unlikely to approach a girl right now, cos he might be too preoccupied with his work (he just opened a new business with his friends 2 weeks ago), and he might be worrying about his mum's sickness.

it's understandable, but i dont see that he's worrying about it too much. he can still joke with me...talk with his female friends, and all that...nothing so serious like what my mum said. thats why i dont think this is the reason. Maybe the only reason is that he doesnt like me the way that i do....am i right?

[whaywardj]

He's not acting weird. You are. You tell anyone BUT him that you like him, then feel threatened when he responds to someone who DOES express her positive regard for him?

Get out of your mind and into reality. Or do something to close the gap between the two you appear to be suffering.

[King Zarathu]

Yeah, I think you should just spit it out to him. What's the worst that can happen?

[pinkpuca84]

coz if i tell him, i'm afraid he's gonna avoid me even more! i was just waiting for the right time, at least until he started to have feelings for me. cos right now..i think he only likes me as a friend. if i rush him too quickly, im afraid i might scare him off...and thats the last thing i want that to happen. i really like this guy. u see...he's not the type of guy who would fall in love easily. thats why i have to take it veeeerrrryyy slowly...making sure that he's not scared of me.

besides...if i tell him right now, it's just not the right moment. i'm here...he's there...so far apart...his mother is sick...he's just starting a new job...definitely not the right time.

[clynn]

Well, I think when he said you need to go with the flow....you probably do.

Relax a bit.

If anything, you might want to clear up the matter of "liking somebody" --- what if he DID think that you like someone who isn't him???? What about that? Oh geeze.

Good thing your mothers are best friends!

Sounds like you two are bound to stay friends NO MATTER WHAT ---- so I wouldn't worry about losing the friendship.

But if you aren't honest about your feelings for him.....than you will regret not having said something.

THis may not have been the right time. You're right. But it seems as though you've opened it all up now.

[pinkpuca84]

well...he did ask if it has anything to do with him (he asked 3 times!)...and i didnt know what to say. cos at that time...i thought : well...if i say yes...he would know straight away that it's him that i like (then, he might get scared of me and avoid me). if i say no...he would think that the guy is not him...and i would be lying....and probably miss my chance (if i do have chance)

so i said " ANYWAYY...doesnt matter...lets just call the guy that i like: Mr."X", shall we?" so basically i kept it secret. like that...

[clynn]

So you neither confirmed or denied it then, you mean?

[pinkpuca84]

yep....i just didnt know what to say....

[Lloyd95]

coz if i tell him, i'm afraid he's gonna avoid me even more!

Who cares? He lives in a freakin other country; it's not like you'll be bumping into him all the time.

[Tone]

LoL he's going to avoid her on the internet..

Anyways why is this posted twice? Once in a short paragraph and this one in a 9 paragraph essay?

I can't believe someone would be so hung up with someone online in another country.

[whaywardj]

Gee, Tone. Now you've done gone and hurt my feelings. I'm hung up on you that way. (Sorry, Lloyd. You're cute and all. But I just don't swing Asian anymore. Too many sad memories around a woman named Kimiko.)

[Tone]

Well if you wrote a 9 paragraph essay ON ME - then it's a whole other story, stud.