So, it's been 2 weeks...

[lovesjoyajm]

2 weeks ago, as you may recall, I had a study "date" with El Boy that, not against my wishes, ended in kissing. I stopped it when I got the sense that he wanted to do more - it may have been a hasty judgment on my part, since all he did was try to pull me back from where we were standing by the stairs into the living room where we had been all evening, but honestly I wasn't sure if I trusted myself to stop if things did go too far since I like him so much. Anyway, I stopped it by telling him that I really, really like him, but that I don't know if we're looking for the same things. (hehe - i know this is the third time I'm telling this story, but it's only happened, and he's only been told that, once )
Anyway, since then, I've been planning, and trying to get up the guts, to talk to him about it, and see if he actually has feelings for me, or he just wanted to hook up. Every time I've seen him, we've interacted completely non-awkwardly, and we even had a great conversation one day for like an hour, but then his professor called him and he had to leave right away before I had brought the convo back to the aforementioned "relationship stuff". I don't want this to just slide away and me to have no closure, which is what happened with the last guy I liked and it hurt me a lot, but I also don't see a point in dragging him into a serious conversation if it's clear that the incident was really just fun and meaningless for him. (My friend has told me that she thinks if he hasn't brought it up, it means he thinks there's nothing to bring up.)
Anyway, what do you guys think I should do? I called him yesterday and left a message (he never picks up his phone) asking if he wanted to hang out - didn't put it in the context of studying, I just said hang out - so that he knows I'm not avoiding him or anything. I don't know - does it sound a lot like he just felt rejected and doesn't want to put himself out there again, or that he has no interest?
Btw, for newcomers to the topic, I am 20 and he is 18.

[clynn]

Good idea !! Way to go, phoning him up.

has he called back?

[xwfuro]

well all you can really do right now is call him, then maybe bring it up if you guys do end up hanging out bring up the relationship convo but just dont make it a serious thing. just casually bring it up so not to make it awkward in the case of he did just want to hook up that day. but i think your playing it the best you can by calling. just because he hasnt called you is no reason to think hes not interested, so dont assume that.

[lovesjoyajm]

update: I saw him today for the first time in a few days (gave his shirt back ) and he asked if I wanted to get together tonight to do homework. I said yes and I'm calling him after my rehearsal is over at 9:45. I think I'll see what happens and if he makes any moves I'll talk to him for real about how I feel, that I like him but I'm not looking for a hookup, etc. Should be fun

[Tone]

9:45!!! Wow that's almost my bedtime!

Have fun tonight.

[clynn]

Yay! Have fun!

[lovesjoyajm]

grumble grumble grumble i hate men grumble grumble grumble
him: "hey, do you want to get together tonight to do the homework?"
me: "hm, ok, what time?"
him: "after 9:30. give me a call when you're free."
me: "ok."
-----
9:45: i call
him: "mm, sorry, I can't make it tonight. How about tomorrow?"

grumble grumble grumble grumble

[clynn]

Yes.
Men suck.

[Tone]

Yes, we do - I'm sorry about that.



Hey... or maybe - just he sucks..

[Lloyd95]

You couldn't find anyone but an 18 year old to be interested in?

[TAVS]

Maybe something came up; big deal.

[shh!]

I don't advise chasing boys, especially younger ones. Let them come to you.


Let the flaming begin.

[Lloyd95]

Maybe she wants him to invite her to his prom?

[lovesjoyajm]

He's not in high school. I met him because we were lab partners in our Calc 2 class last semester. I came into the semester planning not to let myself have any crushes, but then I met him and really liked him. I didn't find out till a few months later that he's 18.
Aside from the fact that being blown off is one of my greatest sources of annoyance, this was his idea - he asked if I wanted to study together, and said "call me tonight at like 9:45." And yeah, I'm sure I wouldn't have cared that much about doing the homework alone if I wasn't looking forward to hanging out with him and trying to figure things out, get them out in the open.

[Lloyd95]

So no prom, huh?