Being Torn Between Two

[Kittens]

I haven't been here in so long, sorry, but I hope I can find some useful help here.

About a month ago my fiance of two years, "L", left me. She left me, becase she felt I was falling in love with another girl, "S". Long background short, L created a huge fake chain of events to leave me so that I could be with S. L made up a story that a common friend of ours, the same person that got us together in the first place, was in love with her since before we were ever looking eachother's ways. Acting that she was torn between us, she left me. After she left me, in fact only a few days after, she encouraged me to get with another girl. Somehow I got with S in just a short while after I was set free, so to speak. I was heartbroken, felt betrayed, and alone. It wasn't hard to do it so fast, S was one of my best friends in the world.

A month goes by, L is regretting, regretting, and regretting. She is always upset, everytime I see her. She is only fine with her friends, or when she is masking her tears by being silly and trying to make me happy. Every time I see her I become extremly sad. We had talked and dreamed about marriage, family, our lives together and much more. We have even had sex already, many times. It just destroys me every day to see her so sad at school.

But there's more complications. I have felt a strong love for S like family when I was with L, now that she left me and I have gotten with her, it isn't such a family feeling anymore, and also, S has fallen in love with me as well and was interested in me years before L even moved to this state. We too, have already been talking and fantasizing about family and marriage. Things went by so fast with S because I already knew her so well. I got to know L from complete scratch. If I stay with S, I'm moving to follow her and also when I move I'll be with the first and best best friend I've ever had in my life as a roommate and a great supporter as I've been there for him as well.

L has given up an Air Force dream to be with me, and I know she wanted to be a pilot so badly. She was the first person to ever read and encourage my writing and loves my stories increadibly. But she has the factor of being with me so long to have these choices and advantages.

S has an incredible ability to cheer me up no matter what type of mood I'm in. L has difficulty with cheering me up when I'm sad and sometimes cannot at all.

I'm a very affectionate person, I feel the need to always be around the one I love at any and every chance, holding onto their hand, arm, or having an arm of my own over them. S and L are both capable of being independant, S more than L, and I just am almost incapable of any independance at all.

S is a tease and likes to play games with my head, I like that a lot, L is very up front and dosn't keep and dirty little secrets, nothing wrong with that.

S dosn't play-flirt with other people, L does. S has never been with anyone before me, and is a virgin. L, while I took her virginity, has been with other men, AND women.

This is just a bunch of stuff off of the top of my head. Right now I'm taking a break from being with either of them and just trying to clear my head and make my decision: Stay with S, or return to L.

Please somebody some kind of advice.

[shh!]

Uh, are you male? Your avatar, screen name and subtitle have me confused.

[Kittens]

Yes I'm male.

I haven't been here in so long because in my introduction thread everyone poked fun at me and make jokes.

[shh!]

Haha - I read your introduction thread. All I can say is that you must be extremely sensitive if you think THAT was poking fun at you. In fact, it was very tame.

Anyway, you might want to consider changing your avatar and subtitle (at least) if you are stuck on that screen name. (You should have used "alleycat" or "straycat" for a more masculine sound...)

About the girls - I think you are too young to be serious with either girl. That is why you are so confused - you are only 18 and are supposed to be gaining experience with different people at your age so that when the time comes to begin thinking about settling down, you can have a very good idea of what characteristics you need in a woman. Those ideas should be based on wisdom, which quite frankly a person does not have at the age of 18. Also, 18 is WAAAAAAAYY too young to be thinking about marriage. Most men are not ready for that step until they are closer to 30.

No offense intended...

[Cybog]

I can't imagine why. The screen-name Kittens with a Hentai-esque anime little girl and the words "I Wuv you bunches" is something every man should do.

Your problem (other than the obvious transgender issues) is that you (surprisingly) can't make up your damn mind. It isn't possible for you to have your cake and eat it too unless you flat out ask both of these broads if they are down for a little threesome action.

The point is - You have to search within your misguided little brain and figure out who the hell you are. Your mind is so far obsessed with these two females that you actually think you are incapable of being with anyone else, or alone for that matter. "Love" and romance are two words that you have little to no concept of. All you know is what you have seen on MTV and your latest Emo CD.

The worst part about this whole situation is that you sound like you are about 17. You have absolutely no idea about any of this. Stop trying to play adult and start acting like one by realizing that you need to either pick one or the other and go for that one and forget the other one.

People break up for a reason. And 99/100 if they try to "make it work" later on, it doesn't. I find it hard to believe that you have had a single long term relationship other than this "fiancé" of yours.

You might wonder why this is, but I don't.

[Cybog]

aaah shit, I didn't even re-read who this kid was.

Man I'm good.

[Only-virgins]

Is this guy gay? Its not the name "Kittens" that makes me think he is as much as it is the "I Wuv you bunches" under it that just screams gay.

[RogerWilco]

The best part is, he/she/it/kittens spent the entire message referring to the girls as "L" and "S", but at the end of the first paragraph, he actually wrote out "S"'s full name (and I presume went back and edited it out eventually).

Too late though, I'm gonna go call her.

[Lloyd95]

Ok, I didn't read your post; I couldn't get by the "kittens" thing, the "I wuv you bunches" thing....

But I did go read your intro. 17 and engaged? And it didn't work out? Maybe you're gaye?

Oh, why wasn't I around in July when you posted that intro thread....?
::Looks for "Beating head against wall" smiley::

[Tone]

Ok, I didn't read your post; I couldn't get by the "kittens" thing, the "I wuv you bunches" thing...

hahaha!! I did the EXACT same thing... I mean.. dude has THE MOST feminine username, under-the-name-thing, and avatar there is.

I kept saying "What the hell is going on here... is this a lesbo relationship??"

Wow what a fruit cup..

[TAVS]

Fruit Cup...I Love it.

I think the dude needs to leave both of em and start a new life somewhere.

[Tone]

Yeah... start by finishing High School

[clynn]

Hey you guys!!! Don't be SO mean!

He said himself that he is a sensitive guy, come on!

Geeeze.

Anyhow, I think you're doing a smart thing by stepping back from both of them. Give yourself some time to be on your own to think about things. It is an unfortunate situation that you are in.