I keep been Paranoid.

[pepsi55]

Ive been seeing someone for over a month now and we get on really well we dated for a while so Ive known her since Christmas time.

But because of my previous relationship which i got treated badly and cheated on extra i keep thinking its going to happen again.

I really do like who I'm with now in fact i love her (but ain't told her yet) but every now and then i just think what if she just goes off me like the other girlfriend did.

When she doesn't reply to my texts or acts funny i get daft thoughts then a few hours later she will explain why i know im been paranoid i trust her but i just get thoughts now and again.

Has anyone else experienced this what can i do to help myself?

[TAVS]

1. If you think you love her after a month; somethings wrong.
2. Love Like You've Never Been Hurt. It's the only way to live life.

[meguin]

I would say thing #1 is to let her know about your past relationship and the paranoia that stems from it.

[Nice guy]

Yes in your situation it would be normal to get suspicious (to a certain degree, of course). Just don't overdue it and enjoy the relationship, try to get your mind off the past hurt...I know, I know, easier said than done.

[shh!]

I would say thing #1 is to let her know about your past relationship and the paranoia that stems from it.

Eh, I'm not so sure I agree with this. What would be the point? It is not the new girlfriend's responsibility to deal with pepsi's relationship issues from former girlfriends.

I think (pepsi) that you should not allow your feelings of insecurity dictate your behaviors in this relationship. In other words, you may FEEL insecure, but you need not express it or act upon it. Your level of confidence in this new relationship will increase as time goes on, assuming neither one of you do anything to jeopardize the other's trust.

I liked very much what TAVS had to say, as well.

[clynn]

1. If you think you love her after a month; somethings wrong.
2. Love Like You've Never Been Hurt. It's the only way to live life.

This coming from the guy that moved in with the new girl after only 3 months!??!?!?!?

So, what you can love someone after 3 months, but not after 1?

[Converse]

This is not really relevant to this thread but to more what clynn said- I find relasionships that are rushed usually end quick too.

[clynn]

Well I am not actually critisizing TAVS or even suggesting that his relationship isn't rock solid. Just more "pot meet kettle".

[TAVS]

This coming from the guy that moved in with the new girl after only 3 months!??!?!?!?

So, what you can love someone after 3 months, but not after 1?

Just cause she moved in doesn't mean I loved her.

[clynn]

Just cause she moved in doesn't mean I loved her.

Holy. Really?

Well, thanks for the confirmation. Interesting insight into the minds and heart of men. I would've thought love was a precursor to shacking up or something. But what do I know of such things.

I guess you began to love her after then or something after that.

...........Anyhow, sorry to the original poster for this digression.

[alice]

Just cause she moved in doesn't mean I loved her.

i've said it before, and i'll say it again: you deserve no better than sleeping on the couch.

[Tone]

Just cause she moved in doesn't mean I loved her.

Oh really??

I'm with a new woman now and I can't imagine not being married to her within the next year or two

[TAVS]

Tone, you need to quote the whole thing.

I'm with a new woman now and I can't imagine not being married to her within the next year or two; assuming we stay together.

Basically I'm saying that I think we're great together and it's a different level of compatibility. I would have no hesitation to marry her when our relationship reaches that level. That was not true with my previous 4-yr relationship.

[Pears]

Has anyone else experienced this what can i do to help myself?

If it's been a month, I think you may only be infatuated.

It's human nature to be paranoid every once in a while. If you're always paranoid, it's not healthy. You won't be able to take any risks that could have potential benefits. Treat her like a new person. Don't compare her to your ex. It may take a while before you can train yourself to be less paranoid.

[Confused2005]

A month can be a long time in human emotion terms.

You probably dont love her as you would love someone you have been with for 10 years.

But you are attached to her....and that is natural.

People become attached to other people very quickly....from my experience within a couple of weeks of constant communication....so after a month you can feel very close to somebody.

Anywya, it is...in my opinion...natural to get these daft thoughts.

Some people just need more attention than others.

I know some guys who would not worry if they didn't get a text or phone call off their gf's for a few days....and they would not make any effort replying either.

Personally I find this weird...it is important to give people attention.

If they dont like it...then they are not for you I am afraid.