Friday morning humor

[Lloyd95]

Funny Joke - 5 reasons not to be a penis...


1. Youre bald your whole life.

2. You have a hole in your head.

3. Your neighbors are nuts.

4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and

5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

[Tone]

LOL that's funny, I think I heard that before.

[Lloyd95]

Tone-What's up my nigga?

Hold on....got some for you tooo

[Lloyd95]

Why do they put cotton in pill bottles?
To remind black people they used to pick cotton before they were drug dealers.

[Lloyd95]

whats long, black, and smelly?
the unemployment line

how do you get a black kid to stop jumping on the bed?
put velcro on the ceiling.
__________________
Why are black people like vending machines?
Neither work, but they both take your money.

[Lloyd95]

To be fair:


How do you know if an asian robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the asian is still trying to back out of your driveway.

[Tone]

How do you know if an asian robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the asian is still trying to back out of your driveway.

LOL!

how do you get a black kid to stop jumping on the bed?
put velcro on the ceiling.

Hey I heard that on 'In Living Color'

[Lloyd95]

[URL=http://imageshack.us][/URL]

[indigosoul]

To be fair:


How do you know if an asian robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the asian is still trying to back out of your driveway.

LOL! That was cute, Lloyd. This place needs some lightening up...

[indigosoul]

Here's one for our resident potheads:

So, this monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past,
looks up and says to the monkey "Hey, man, whatcha doing?"

The monkey replies, "Smokin' a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they smoke a few.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and he's going to get a
drink from the river.

The lizard is so stoned that he leans over too far and falls into the
river.

A crocodile sees this and rescues the lizard; pushes him to shore and then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting up a tree with a
monkey smoking pot, got thirsty, and was so stoned that he fell into the river.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and wanders into the jungle. He
finds the tree where the monkey is sitting finishing up a joint.

The crocodile yells up to the monkey and says "Hey... Monkey! Waaasup?"

The monkey looks down and says, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck........duuuuude.....How much water did you drink?!"

[Tone]

LOL indi!!!!!!

[Late_vamp]

good jokes , all of these made me laugh .

[Pears]

Funny jokes! We should have these more often.

[RSK]

wow, great stuff above!!!!

[DutchBoY]

A girl wants to borrow her father's car, so she goes downstairs and asks: "Dad, can I take the car tonight?"
On which her father replies: "Only if you give me some head first"
His daughter is appalled, but seeing as she has an important date tonight, she decides to comply to his wishes. She goes down on her knees, pulls down her father's pants and stares at his penis.
"Dad, you've got shit on your shaft"
"Ow that's right, I almost forgot. Your brother has the car."