Marry her? WARNING: LONG!

[AlaskaBoy]

I hope this is the right place for this. I also apologize ahead of time if it makes no sense and is far too long winded. I have bad grammer and sentence structure, so bear with me. =) Thanks for your time and understanding.

Ok, I guess I should start from the beginning. I live in Alaska and had a friend who I went to high-school with. He was a grade ahead of me, and he wasn’t a super close friend of mine. After I graduated we met up again and became good friends. After about 8 months we were best friends and I even started working for his parents at their restaurant. He had an amazing girlfriend (Ok, you can start to see where this is going). She also worked at this restaurant so I spent a lot of time with her. They had been dating for 1year. She appeared happy at first, but as I got to know her I realized this was not true. He was an only child and rather spoiled by his parents. So as I spent more and more time I started to see that he treated her more like one of his many “things” and not like the delicate flower that she is. I ended up spending more and more time with her as he spent more and more time if front of the TV (Video Games) and admiring himself. Yet she loved him… I never understood. So, there one year together passed… and he did nothing special. Then valentines passed and he did nothing. This is when I realized I was actually better friends with her then with him, and I do mean friends… no funny stuff. So one night we were hanging out and he went to bed. We were both very awake and decided to go for a walk. We ended up walking down the middle of downtown (middle of winter) in the most romantic fog. We ended up in a gazebo out side of one of the hotels downtown. That is where I told her straight up what my intentions were. She then expressed to me that she had been un-happy with my friend and she had started to have feelings for me. Then we kissed... I know it was wrong but it felt so right. I then walked her back to her house (where they lived together) and I went home. The next day she told her boyfriend that she did not want to be with him anymore and that I made her more happy. He left, and came back later to collect his things. I have never spoke with him about it, and I don’t really care too. I understand that he is not really a “good” person and has a lot to learn. He is also not someone I really need to be friends with. So two relationships ended that day and one amazing relationship was formed.

We moved in together right away. It did not seem too fast. We stayed at her place till the lease was up and then left state to travel to the “Lower 48” we lived with friends there for about three months and everything went great. It was probably some of the best days of my life. We then moved back to Alaska and my mother put us up for about two months until I found a place for us to live and got a great job. We have now been living together for two years. I don’t really know anything about her past relationships, save for her seeing my friend and her first boyfriend (who she went out with for a little less then a year). She is very good to me and we get along great. We do have our ups and downs but have never been in a fight. Usually a down will consist of not talking too much and just sitting around and doing our own things around the house. The up’s however are amazing. We embrace when we see each other after we come home at the end of the day like we hadn’t seen each other in weeks. I love just sitting around with her relaxing. We also both enjoy the same outdoor activities. So I guess what I want to know is… I want to marry her… I think. I don’t really know a whole lot about her relationship past. I know all about her family past. I am just not sure if it is ok to ask her about other experiences. Also, given how her and I met, does history really have a high chance to repeat itself? She is a scorpio and I have read they are very loyal. I am a sagitarius, and I would die for her… or better yet, live for her. I am also worried if I marry her and she leaves me she could take everything…. I don’t know, now I’ve lost my train of thought, I have so many questions….

A little back story on me is. This is my first real relationship. I am 23 now and stole her away when I was 21. We have known each other for three and a half years. I now own a house and have an amazing job that I plan on retiring with. We live together and she is going to school for nursing.

How do I know if I should ask her to marry me? Am I too young? Or is it true that I can find the “one” and such a young age? If this seems like more of a rant or a ramble please pay no attention. Maybe I just needed someone I don’t know to tell me what they think. If you have any questions to make my situation more understandable or what not, please ask. Thanks agian =)

[shh!]

I think you are awfully young to be thinking of getting married. Divorce rates go down significantly the closer to 30 the couple is. It sounds like you love her - why do you feel the need to change things now?

And oh yeah - I think it would be best to not ask questinos about her past relationships. They are irrelevant now.

[Lloyd95]

Jesus, where to start.

First, you're an @sshole for moving in on your friend's girl. If i were him, I'd have punched you right in the face. At least talk to him or wait until they breakup before making a move.

You're too young to get married. What's the rush? get married when you're ready to have kids. Period. Just live together, as you've been doing.

You posted this: "I want to marry her… I think". Don't "think", know. You will know when it's time.

I agree with shh!, you don't need to know about her past.

Oh, and remember, she cheated on her last boyfriend with you; there's always someone out there better looking, richer, funnier than you, so lookout.

[NeoSeminole]

I hate selfish pricks like you. I could have stollen many girls but I didn't out of respect for their boyfriends. There are millions of single girls out there but you are probably some loser who preys on emotionally deprived girls. I hope your gf finds someone who steals her away from you. Have a nice day :-)

[AlaskaBoy]

Have a nice day :-)

Thanks! =)

[Lloyd95]

Nice attitude. You come on here and probably spent 5 minutes typing up your question; we give our honest replies, our time and that's what you come up with. Jerkoff.

The "boy" part of your screen name is dead on.

[AlaskaBoy]

Jesus, where to start.

First, you're an @sshole for moving in on your friend's girl.

I was unaware she was "somthing" of his. Maybe I should have just asked to borrow "it"? Like your old gutiar... even though you don't play it anymore you still wanna hang on too it just cause it's "yours"?

Maybe "Shh!" is right about her comment.... (ignore Lloyd-he is wrong) =)

And I do appricate everyones advice but the last comment was more like a flame. I was just trying to find somthing positive about it.

[Lloyd95]

It's all about respect, which obviously you don't get; which is a shame because by age 23, you should have learned it by now. And no, I'm not just talking about repsect of your "so called friend", but of your so called "love interest", and even yourself.

Of course women aren't property, and I'm the first one on here that will stand up for the repsect of women. Does that make it ok to go hit on every married woman?

[AlaskaBoy]

Also, Thank you for the rest of your comment. I do take your advice to heart. Eveyone I have talked to says "Don't marry early" and "Wait". I think I just needed to hear it from other people. Thanks again.

[meh]

AlaskaBoy,

I'm not going to say do this or do that beacuse some people simply won't understand. But this is what I'd do. I'm the curious type, I can't help wondering about past relationships/experiences, and I definitely don't see anything wrong with asking. Knowing stuff like that adds a lot of depth to your connection (unless you get upset over things which happened years before you met - if that's the case don't even bring it up).

About marriage, I'd say wait a few more years at least, everything's going great the way you say it, there's no rush and you haven't been together that long yet. Let your relationship grow in a normal course.

[AlaskaBoy]

It's all about respect, which obviously you don't get;

Your right, I have not learned that yet. I can't figure out how to respect someone who dosn't respect others... or more so even.. does not respect people I believe should get respect. My old friend that she was seeing had no respect for anyone... Not even his parents. He would say things like "Im gonna do this and if they don't like it ill stop talking to them" "I am their only son and they don't want to lose me"... I dunno... I dont know a lot.. Thats why im reaching out for advice... Maybe I got off on the wrong foot...

[shh!]

The subtitle under my screen name is meant only in jest, so please don't use it to attack Lloyd. He is one of my favorite posters.

[Lloyd95]

Maybe I got off on the wrong foot...

That's cool. I still stick by what I earlier posted.
Girls come and go, friends are forever. It's an unwritten Man Rule to never break up a friendship over a girl.

[Lloyd95]

He is one of my favorite posters.

"One of"?

[shh!]

Well, you are in the top three, and anyway, you are my favorite over-35 male poster for sure!