Men crying.

[Uniden]

Honestly, what do you think of men who cry?

EDIT: I am eighteen.

1. I was doing fine at school one day, but I was seriously sad because my 2.5 year girl friend told me she likes and kisses one of my friends the night before, and my teacher noticed I was a little down. He started teasing me about looking sad(I was usually happy), so I got teary eyed and went outside. I wasn't wailing, but I was crying quite a bit. I knew I shouldn't have, and I wouldn't have, but he brought it up and I couldn't handle it.


2. I cried at school a few weeks ago because I had such a horrible morning with my mom. I got four hours of sleep, and we have a bit of an emotional past. I'm the 2nd of four children, and I really don't get any attention from her. She treats my sibblings way better, and doesn't talk down to them. She constantly says things like "Three good kids out of four isn't bad!", "You're the only one who wasn't an accident, and we wish you were the only one that wasn't born.", and other things like that.

Anyways, I had a giant argument with my mom this day, and I went to school. My teacher noticed I was sad, and he asked me what was wrong. I couldn't handle it so I just started crying. I just can't control it.


I really try and hide these feelings inside, but sometimes, I just can't. I have horrible mood swings. One second I can be confident and happy, and the next second I'll be insecure and sad. I really want to change this. I try and be nice to her, but I always flip out when she says something horrible to me.


I'm dating this girl, and she found out I was crying in first period. She said she was sorry, or whatever, and hugged/kissed me, but I have a feeling that I'm looking like a wuss. Usually, I'm not, but I get so insecure and sad randomly. For no reason at ALL, I'll be super pissed and sad. Should I worry?


Anyone have any suggestions on what I should do?

[Late_vamp]

try to convince her your having the hardest time in your life and that your usually not like that , tell her what your mom tells you , like that she will understand what kind of shit your going through , also tell her your in depression because it sounds like your in it .

best of luck , happy new years .

R

[vashti]

It sounds like you have a lot to cry over. Lose the girlfriend, and see if you can set up some sort of counseling with the school psychologist.

[bluesummer]

I have more of a problem with guys who don't ever cry.

Still, try not to let your emotions get the best of you too often. It does give the apearance that you're not in control of yourself. Not that anyone's opinion should matter, but whatever. Like Vashti said, maybe you need to talk to someone to sort out what's making you so sad.

[TyRuK]

I cried about 5 weeks ago because i discovered i was in love with a girl and then she tells me she has a BF!!!!! so i freaked out and punched my door in the fell on the floor crying!!! man it was like the saddest thing to ever happen to me!!!!! you know when you love someone so much that when you're not with them your heart physically aches? i feel like that all the time! now i'm just getting off topic sorry!! LOL

[xxwildchildxx]

It is perfectly acceptable for a male to cry. What you are going through is quite emotional, and no one can blame you for needing to let out. The problem, however, (as you've mentioned) is people's perception of a "male who cries." I personally think you shouldn't care what they think and don't let this whole thing become another added stress to your life. You needn't concentrate on the whole issue of crying at school, but instead focus on these problems that are causing you so much grief.

[Late_vamp]

just cry in private at least , i dont cry , even in private , i have come close but it just doesnt seem to come out ... if its physical then its all about grunts , if its emotional and psychological , then its all about the sort of almost crying state .
actually , seeing someone that i love in pain and crying makes me want to cry more than me actually being IN pain .

[boobaa]

I cry, if I do not, I get angry and later cry anyway, just like a little prick. But at least I am bold enough to stand up with it.

[Tiay]

It is perfectly acceptable for a male to cry. What you are going through is quite emotional, and no one can blame you for needing to let out.

well said :) Can you see a psychologist at school? Keep us posted.
-tiay

[Bluevetteracer]

I am going to get blasted here, but a man crying in public, other then at a funeral is not acceptable.

You are 18, and by all means a man, grow up and be responsible enough for your emotions that you can hold off until you get home, and cry all you want into your pillow. If you need counseling, that is fine, and I encourage that, and if needed cry to them.

[whaywardj]

Crying, like dreaming, is the body's way of releasing the potentionally damaging effects of overwhelmingly sad or happy feelings. It's like a pressure safety valve. To suggest crying is unacceptable and should be held back is the same as saying that shitting or pissing is unacceptable and should be held back. For the present, I'd try to avoid circumstances (or creating circumstances, like arguments) I knew might produce strong feelings in me. Then, I'd look into ways to fortify my coping skills, with or without professional help.

[vashti]

I am going to get blasted here, but a man crying in public, other then at a funeral is not acceptable.

You are 18, and by all means a man, grow up and be responsible enough for your emotions that you can hold off until you get home, and cry all you want into your pillow. If you need counseling, that is fine, and I encourage that, and if needed cry to them.

Ah come on now, bluevette... have a heart! He is just a boy! But you are correct that in our culture, it is seen as a negative for males to have strong emotions. Thank god I am a woman.

[Bluevetteracer]

Crying, like dreaming, is the body's way of releasing the potentionally damaging effects of overwhelmingly sad or happy feelings. It's like a pressure safety valve. To suggest crying is unacceptable and should be held back is the same as saying that shitting or pissing is unacceptable and should be held back. For the present, I'd try to avoid circumstances (or creating circumstances, like arguments) I knew might produce strong feelings in me. Then, I'd look into ways to fortify my coping skills, with or without professional help.

Wayward I have to disagree.

You don't piss and shit in the classroom, the table at the restaurant, or in the aisle at the grocery store. You excuse yourself, find the appropriate place, and relieve yourself.

You also don't throw a 3 year old type temper tantrum when waiting in line for the theatre for an hour, only to have it sold out when you get to the window.

You also don't yell or hit a women when sometimes you feel like you would really want to, and they deserve it.

This is called controlling your emotions. Crying is the same. Men and Women. If a grown women sat down in the cheese aisle at the grocery store and started to cry, this would not be acceptable either.

If someone happens to be having an emotional moment, an adult should be able to suppress that emotion (like suppressing you bodily waste) for at least 10 minutes so you can find an appropriate place to have your emotional release.

The world will not be kind to a man that feels it is OK to cry whenever he feels the need.

Get real; no women would respect a man that was crying because he had an argument with his mother, or his boss or whatever. SHE needs him to put her back together now and then, not putting him back together. Women look for an emotional level, and that is (society based) found in a man.

We can try and soften, or dismiss, the laws of nature, but it seems to be fruitless.

[funsounds]

someone mentioned this above somewhere...and i gotta say, it's the same with me...

i don't cry very often post-puberty. i cried when my grandmother died. i cried when me and the vets thought my cat was going to cry. and i sorta half cried when the girl who i thought at the time was the love of my life cheated on me. three times i cried on my own.

HOWEVER...i have a HARD time holding back tears when someone i care about is crying. my mom cried one day when we were reminiscing about my deceased father...he's been gone for 15 years but my mom cried. i couldn't hold it...i busted out crying and hugging my mom. one of my very dear friends, a girl, was torn to pieces and bawling because she got dumped by her long term relationship boyfriend...and cried for her and held her. my little cousin, she started bawling her eyes out when the family dog died...and i busted out crying. one of my best friends, his father passed away, and he started crying at the funeral...i didn't even know his dad very well cuz he worked so much...but i cried too just watching my buddy broken down like that...and i had to give him a big ole hug and cry with him. there have beeen other instances too.

i can't take it when i see loved ones in pain...that just KILLS me...

[vashti]

Don't you guys cry in movies? Sophie's Choice? Terms of Endearment? Bambi?