Prepare yourself for a moderalty long story.
Well over the weekend One of my very old friends had gotten my email address somewhow and sent me an email (kinda creepy actually). See I had dated this guy from middle school into high school and then a year after we broke up he came out of the closet and told everyone he was gay. We lost contact for several years and then later on I started dating a guy named Matt and found out he was best friends with my old crush (gay guy). We all hung out all the time and got really close. Matt and I lived together for like a year and then I broke up with him because he had wanted to get married (both 19 at the time) and I wanted to live my life more or less. Anyhow we ran into each other over the years and had given it another try and to this day I can't remember why it all ended.
Anyhow, my gay friend sent me an email out of the blue and told me he's living in Washington D.C and wants to talk with me soon to say hi. No big deal. Then he told me Matt married the girl he dated after me that had a child. I guess they got married this past October and are now expected a child of their own. I'm very happy for him and for my friend. But I feel a little jealous maybe? I don't know how to describe it. It's not like I miss him or anything but, it's like I feel hmm, wonder what would have happened if we would have stayed together. Don't get me wrong I love my BF and I wouldn't change a thing about my life including my daughter, who wouldn't even be around if I hadn't met my bf. I don't know maybe it's just weird because I know his wife and she was actualy an ex girlfriend of someone I dated after Matt. Small world I know! Or maybe it's because I know how this guy is and he holds his SO on this pedestal and is a very good guy and and i'm just jealous he has the situation I want! I feel bad thinking liek that, but I think that's mostly what it is.
I'm not really looking for advice, since none of this really bothers me I just think it's weird, and all this came as a shock to me yesterday.