Do you think that I am an a$$hole?

[carpflounder]

OK Carp, what happened? You have to give more detail then that.

When I got home I apologized and told her that I was wrong. She was lying on the bed crying. She kept crying endlessly..no matter what I said. She looked me right in my face and said "( my name) I can't be your girlfriend."

She said that after I said the thing about only wanting $30 for Xmas..that was when she decided to dump me. I said the wrong thing in the moment of anger...she won't let it go. I wish I could take it back.

I tried to talk things out...but she wouldn't have it.

Thank you RoseB and Frenchmaid for being so supportive. I'll send you an IM later.

[FrenchMaid]

When I got home I apologized and told her that I was wrong. She was lying on the bed crying. She kept crying endlessly..no matter what I said. She looked me right in my face and said "( my name) I can't be your girlfriend."

She said that after I said the thing about only wanting $30 for Xmas..that was when she decided to dump me. I said the wrong thing in the moment of anger...she won't let it go. I wish I could take it back.

I tried to talk things out...but she wouldn't have it.

Thank you RoseB and Frenchmaid for being so supportive. I'll send you an IM later.
-------
Hi!
Sorry about that! I am giving a BIG HUG!!!!
You know sometime like you say people say thing out of anger or crazyness!

I believe that your GF is still hurt for what you told her! I am not sure how long you guy's been together but people don't end relationship like that! I think that she just need a little bit of time to think thing over!

You are a very nice guy to go and apologized! I gave you credit for that! Just let thing settle for a while... they said that went people love you they always comes back! I don't know her but I have a feeling that she too said that without thinking, we all do think like that! Don't feel bad about what you say in the past you can't change it, you can just make it better and you did by gaving her your apologies!!!

[Rosebud]

Yea, you did so those things out of anger and can you see why she is upset? I'm sure you can and I'm sure you feel bad for it. What you ahve to do here is make up. She doesn't want to talk it through because she probably feels things may not change. You have to try and work through this problem to be able to sit her down and discuss the changes you will make (if you want to for her). You should maybe send her flowers to where she is or the place you guys live or whatever. and buy her a card like she did to you. I don't see you being a romantic here but if you want to keep her you have to pull out all your creative ideas right now if you want to get her to be able to talk to you. And you have to start thinking before you act/speak.

On a side note though, if this is the girl you have cheated on as well you have to sit down and really think if you want to still be with her. I imagine she's at ehr wits end right now for all the stuff that has happened and it's not right to put her through all that if you really don't want to give her your all.

[Debunkt]

I imagine she's at ehr wits end right now for all the stuff that has happened and it's not right to put her through all that if you really don't want to give her your all.

Yeah. Don't just send flowers and a card if you're not willing to actually change and compromise for each other. Things have to change, because she didn't dump you JUST for asking for $30. Don't give meaningless regret gifts. You don't want her to take you back just to have this shit happen again. You need to think if she is actually right for you. From the way you talk about her, from the things you do, I honestly don't see it. Sorry.

[carpflounder]

I'm really high right now..its helping me deal with it somewhat..I'm smoking like every 15-20 minutes....ohhhhh weeellll.

[Rosebud]

Well whatever floats your boat! So what have you come up with? What are you going to do? Do you even want to be with her?

[Mish]

Is this the same girl that you've been cheating on?

I've noticed you've been avoiding this question. ...And the answer to it is of the utmost importance...

[carpflounder]

I've noticed you've been avoiding this question. ...And the answer to it is of the utmost importance...

Yes, of course this is the same girl that I have cheated on.
If you have paid one iota of attention...you'd realize that I haven't reported a dumping in the past 7 months. The cheating happened like 3-4 months ago. Duhhh.

Sorry to go off on that tangent. But I was not avoiding any questions. The answer is obvious.


and to all the haters: She never found out..looks like she never will.

[Tone]

She said that after I said the thing about only wanting $30 for Xmas..that was when she decided to dump me. I said the wrong thing in the moment of anger...she won't let it go. I wish I could take it back.

Hope you learn your lesson. You can't be a dick and smartass all the time. You deserved to be dumped, you don't deserve her back, and hopefully you can get somethin outta this experience besides a new pipe.

And I could have sworn you said you never cheated on your current g/f before... now I think you're an even bigger scumbag.

[indigosoul]

Hope you learn your lesson. You can't be a dick and smartass all the time. You deserved to be dumped, you don't deserve her back, and hopefully you can get somethin outta this experience besides a new pipe.

And I could have sworn you said you never cheated on your current g/f before... now I think you're an even bigger scumbag.

Thanks Tone, for having the cojones to say what needed saying^.

I don't think you're a scumbag Carp, but I do think you're being really unfair to this girl. Be a man and STAY dumped unless you are really willing to be human from now on.

Oh, so you know (I really am trying to be helpful, this is sisterhood stuff I'm telling you), your GF WILL take you back. Almost certainly. She CRIED in your presence. This means she still cares. You'll probably get one or (perhaps if she really loves you) two last shots at most. BUT once she stops crying...look out. When a woman stops crying in your presence and says "thats it", then that WILL be it. Believe it.

Now stop being a dick and good luck.

[carpflounder]

The thing that really complicates things so much is that we have only lived together for 5 days. And due to a lease I have to live with her..the earliest I can move out is April!

We are going to be staying in the same bed. Her sister and bf are renting the other room from us...so neither one of us can stay there.

She sleeps naked. So even after she dumped me..we still had sex. No, it wasn't "make-up sex"..the tone was: "I'm horny so I'll do it with my ex sex".
When we finished..she stared crying and said "I can't do this I have to distance myself from you."

We had sex twice this morning and guess what?.....she cried right after and continued to emotionally distance herself from me ( not walking me to the door like she always does..etc)

Sheesh... Its just so complex..cuz we have to live together...and sleep together.

Any thoughts??

[whaywardj]

Oh, fer chrissake. You two have so overly complicated the whole matter that you'll never get it sorted out to anyone's satisfaction. Go to her, apologise all over the block and ask her if she thinks, maybe, you could both just start again, fresh. Without any sorting of this or that out for now or the next longish while. Sounds as if you both jumped into something you didn't really know what was and the shock (?) of it all is making you both behave like a couple of looney-toons. Calm the **** down for a little while (let the pipe STAY lost and loose your silly little stash yourself) and try to enjoy and show appreciation for each other's company. Once you get a baseline of some sort in that direction -- IF you do -- THEN start working on the hard stuff. Or just break the hell up, lease notwithstanding. You're driving each other insane as it sounds now. And over what? Mistakes. Recognize them together. Put out a little effort to not repeat them. And move on. Either with each other. Or not. But, for goodness sake, quit treating each other as you were both rag dolls either could kick or punch or **** or ignore as your moods of the moment called for. Get a grip. Both of you. Or get gone from one another.

[Mish]

I think you are being very selfish Carp and you are just using this girl for sex, how she makes you feel, what she lets you get away with and what not... You haven't explained why you are in a relationship with her and why do you want to be with her, apart from obvious self gratifications.

It seems like everything begins and ends with you and feelings of your female partner is not really that important in your relationship with her. It seems almost as if she is a vassal of your personal pleasure and when she stops giving then the reason for treating her as a person for you ends. If I were you I would take some time out and take a long hard look at yourself and your ways with women. I maybe wrong, but at the moment I see you acting like a bimbo. I knew some girls who act like you (I realize you're a guy, before you say anything) and I tell you being with someone so self centrered can be very frustrating...

By the way. Mentioning all of the above in your apology to her, uncluding your self centerdness and how you realize that you hurt her feelings and that you are working to change this part of yourself for the better will help you to get her back... However, this will also require you to live up to your words...

[Rosebud]

The thing that really complicates things so much is that we have only lived together for 5 days. And due to a lease I have to live with her..the earliest I can move out is April!

We are going to be staying in the same bed. Her sister and bf are renting the other room from us...so neither one of us can stay there.

She sleeps naked. So even after she dumped me..we still had sex. No, it wasn't "make-up sex"..the tone was: "I'm horny so I'll do it with my ex sex".
When we finished..she stared crying and said "I can't do this I have to distance myself from you."

We had sex twice this morning and guess what?.....she cried right after and continued to emotionally distance herself from me ( not walking me to the door like she always does..etc)

Sheesh... Its just so complex..cuz we have to live together...and sleep together.

Any thoughts??

Well what is that you want?

[Junsui]

Well what is that you want?

No one wants to be alone, right?