telling a guy what you like during sex

[chelsee]

how can a girl go about telling a guy what she really wants him to do when they are having sex? usually i try to put his hands in certain spots but i don't want him to think he's not doing a good job. I just like certain things better than others. any suggestions?

[daletom]

Most guys - at least those with even moderate maturity - want to please their partners and don't mind a little constructive coaching. Placing his hands someplace is a good start. You can also position your body (or his) so that his hands, mouth, feet, or other organs line up with places you'd like them to be. Don't be afraid to come out and say things either - "Now do the other boob.", "Faster!.", "Eat me!", etc. And make sure you give him feedback: "That feels GOOD!" is a start, "Ohhh, Y-E-S-S-S!!!" is good, and gasp or moan when he hits something just right is worth a thousand words.

The cuddle time afterwards is a good time to let him know, "I really liked the way you <did something>." or "After <something> I wish you would spend more time doing <this>." Make sure he understands that your desire for various things changes during the encounter. For instance, boob suckling that is painful during early foreplay may be just right as you near climax. Essentially, you are teaching him to "read" your body.

Now - how about YOU? Do you look for, and act on, HIS desires? How does he express them? (Is that the only way he expresses them?)

Both of you may enjoy a little exercise I discovered. Every other month or so magazines like "Redbook" and "Cosmopolitan" publish some kind of sex survey or how-to article. They often have titles like "What's your wildest fantasy?", "Why guys like oral sex", etc, etc. Get a few of these - photocopy them from back issues in the public library if you're cheap - then read and discuss them TOGETHER. See if you agree with the minority or the majority on some of the survey questions. Let him know that even though some fantasy sounds hot, it's actually a big turn-off for you. Find out if he wants to try some of the "new" things that are supposedly great.

[jaye]

Most guys - at least those with even moderate maturity - want to please their partners and don't mind a little constructive coaching. Placing his hands someplace is a good start. You can also position your body (or his) so that his hands, mouth, feet, or other organs line up with places you'd like them to be. Don't be afraid to come out and say things either - "Now do the other boob.", "Faster!.", "Eat me!", etc. And make sure you give him feedback: "That feels GOOD!" is a start, "Ohhh, Y-E-S-S-S!!!" is good, and gasp or moan when he hits something just right is worth a thousand words.
The cuddle time afterwards is a good time to let him know, "I really liked the way you <did something>." or "After <something> I wish you would spend more time doing <this>." Make sure he understands that your desire for various things changes during the encounter. For instance, boob suckling that is painful during early foreplay may be just right as you near climax. Essentially, you are teaching him to "read" your body.

Now - how about YOU? Do you look for, and act on, HIS desires? How does he express them? (Is that the only way he expresses them?)

Both of you may enjoy a little exercise I discovered. Every other month or so magazines like "Redbook" and "Cosmopolitan" publish some kind of sex survey or how-to article. They often have titles like "What's your wildest fantasy?", "Why guys like oral sex", etc, etc. Get a few of these - photocopy them from back issues in the public library if you're cheap - then read and discuss them TOGETHER. See if you agree with the minority or the majority on some of the survey questions. Let him know that even though some fantasy sounds hot, it's actually a big turn-off for you. Find out if he wants to try some of the "new" things that are supposedly great.

above is byfar "the" and the best advice.

[mini696]

Basically my ex would just say things at anytime about what she liked or wanted to try.

Subliminal gasps and "ooh yeahs" dont work with men. Well not me.

[carpflounder]

Subliminal gasps and "ooh yeahs" dont work with men. Well not me.

I am attuned to the above subleties..if a girls is moaning particularly loud..then I will keep doing whatever I'm doing.

For guys that can't take a hint..you just have to tell them verbally what you want.

[independent]

That's why you dont fake orgasms. Sends the wrong message - then they keep doing whatever it is that isnt good enough to really get you there anyway

LOL

I'm pretty open (in long term secure relationships I should say - which is when I'm generally having sex) so I'll just say "I loved that!" or "can we do that again?!?!" LOL

[Sal329]

I like when a girl just comes out and tells me what she wants I just want to please her so if she tells me how it makes it more enjoyable. I also love when she tells me how it feels and things like that.

[F1fever]

Subliminal gasps and "ooh yeahs" dont work with men.

I think as a bloke I should feel offended by that! lol

If you're "in tune" as a couple, then any direction is accepted for what it is. If you can't communicate about sex - either by hint or talking about it - then you won't be doing what each other wants ever imho. Every time is different, you can't have a set formula or it gets dull, so any chance to learn anew trick and being able to read the mood or feel of a "session" is vital to keep it going well.

As a bloke, I`m always learning, and can always take a hint to make things better!

[fauglo]

Sometimes, in the middle of everything, I will get close to his ear and whisper what I want him to do. This usually interrupts something I really did NOT want him to be doing, but whispering huskily, "I want you to put your finger right here, and I want your mouth on my...." will help him out. It will also turn him on to know that you are turned on and you want to cum. Then, when he gets it just right, the moaning and groaning will cue him in plus you can say in your husky, sexy voice right out loud that you like his hands/mouth/co*k right there.

[Rosebud]

I agree with some of the guys comments here. I will be sometimes place hands in areas to give the idea, but if the subtle hints don't work I just tell him what I want him to do.

[shh!]

If you aren't able to discuss sex, you probably shouldn't be doing it. You are probably either not with the right person, or you aren't old enough...

[Debunkt]

with shh!, I agree.

/yoda

[chriscant]

Just tell him, we men jst like to b told wat to do, we can improve technique nd method once we are doing it, my gf told me what she liked nd iv never moved backwards from it i move forwards adding new twists nd method to our "fun", we hav sumit special nd shes never had to fake an orgasm cos of it
she refers to me as having the fingers of a god nd tells all ther friends too lol

[Tone]

we men jst like to b told wat to do

In that case:

Take an extra few seconds when typing so that you don't come off like a re-re.

[Junsui]

A re-re, I have never heard it said that way!