Tricking her into liking me, but backwards

[crazyjoe]

Ok.

-Im dating this girl.
-I like her personality.
-She's hot as hell. (and i agree with everyone else on this)
-She puts up with me, and I am, to say the least "socially abnormal" (im not a goth or anything, i just have a few stupid disorders that even eletist mental-issue scensters would be ashamed to admit)
-Is an atheist, like me

but i dont really love her at all.

I mean, she is literally perfect for me.

I have only been in love once, and the girl i was in love with...
-wouldn't date me
-Annoyed me
-Was overweight, and wouldn't be attractive anyways. (i found her attractive though)
-Alyways complained about how I am. anything i did that wasn't 100% normal she would ***** about.
-was a christain and kept trying to convert me



So what the heck? Am i messed up, or what? Why don't i feel much for her, and how the heck can i fix this? Does frequent marijuana/mushroom/salvia use interfere with normal emotions?
I think it might be possible that I don't feel anything for her because I am afraid she doesn't feel anything for me. Maybe like a defense mechanism sort of thing. But we are dating so she must like me, right? Or is she just on robot mode, trying to continue the process we started when we met about a month ago and couldn't keep our hands off each other...


Can you trick youself into loving someone who you should've fallen in love with instantly? Or, more importantly, can I trick myself?

[whaywardj]

Yep.
______________

[crazyjoe]

Yep to what?

And if it's to the main question of can I trick myself, How, exactly?

[whaywardj]

There is no "exactly." Depends on the people and the context.

At base, though, we all arrange for what we really want. If you're in a relationship that is characterized by bickering and discontent, then those things are, likely, what you're really after and you've arranged to have them. Also true in the converse. If you're unhappy in what is otherwise a perfect relationship, then, likely, happiness is not what you're really after. The trick? Anias Nin put it best, I think: "We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are." We bring to ourselves what we expect for ourselves. What we expect isn't always the same as what we want.

[Debunkt]

also, you're just really weird. And the drugs are going to help.

[whaywardj]

Oh, don't encourage him, Debunkt. You know as well as any of us drugs are a crutch.

[CircleC]

Debunkt is right. Increased drug use will probably help you forget her and move on.

[shh!]

Maybe you are only dating this girl because you are "supposed" to like her. She doesn't sound like your type, but because lots of your friends think she is "perfect" you feel pressured to like her. Part of growing up is 1) realizing that you have your own taste in females and 2) don't care what your friends think. Don't date girls you aren't into - you are playing with their hearts, and that isn't nice.

And lay off the drugs or you will only attract losers.

[crazyjoe]

Well, I'm not trying to move on. We're dating and things are really good.
It's not like I'm saying "Hmm, I should do drugs so I can forget her." Im thinking more to the effect "Maybe I should quit doing drugs so I can maybe be emotionally normal."
I wasn't emotionally normal before I did drugs, though.
The drug thing is wierd though. Most anti-drug people forgive me (and me, specifically) for it. I supposedly have a 160 IQ and I have a few personality disorders... and for some reason, people treat me a little differently because of that.



I don't think I'm dating her because I am supposed to like her, but I do understand what you are trying to say. Everyone was extremely surprised that we ended up togeather. I've never once in my life met a person whos personality I liked and I was also attracted to, so I'd never even kissed a girl before I met her (And I'm 19, not uncomfortable in social situations, and I get hit on daily - I just never cared. I liked one girl, but I shouldn't have, and she secretly hated me.).

I mean, I'm sure that if I wasn't attracted to her, we would still be good friends and all. So I love how she looks and I love how she acts... There are times when I'm with her that I actually completely love her, but usually only for a little while... most of the time I don't really have any emotions at all. Is there some 3rd part, besides looks and personality, that I'm missing?

[Debunkt]

the "continue to do drugs" things was sarcasm. I can't imagine that anybody who has an IQ of 160 would be stupid enough to be an habitual drug abuser. They have most likely emotionally numbed you and that's why you feel so weird. I mean, at least you're conscious enough to realize the attributes about her that would make her a good mate for you. Now you just have to get YOURSELF in order.

[whaywardj]

A high IQ doesn't mean shit if you haven't the sense to use it. You annoy me, CrazyJoe. Offhand, you sound like a rat trying to slink it's way into whatever it wants using any excuse you can find.

[Asip4u]

That pretty much sums up this thread.

[Junsui]

Usually people with high IQs are messed up anyways, so I could see them using drugs.

[Tone]

A high IQ doesn't mean shit if you haven't the sense to use it. You annoy me, CrazyJoe. Offhand, you sound like a rat trying to slink it's way into whatever it wants using any excuse you can find.

Well said, Hayward. My exact thoughts as well.

[CircleC]

He wasn't smart enough to interpret my sarcasm. The title of the post explains it all. and YES crazyjoe, I do understand the backwards part. You should have titled "Tricking myself into liking her". The way you put it, though, cries for help. Or maybe it just shows a bit more than you wanted. I'm on board with Tone and Hayward.