trying to move forward.

[whaywardj]

PS: This idea that appreciating yourself is "cocky" confuses acceptance with arrogance. We're, mostly, acculturated (taught) to desire things and ways of being that help us conform to, "fit into" the prevailing status quo. All well and good if braindead is your idea of good time. Be wary of self-criticism. It's, sometimes, difficult to tell who's doing the criticizing: You, or what you've been told.

[CircleC]

They're like little vehicles that take you for a ride in the landscape that is you. Within yourself, you're a tourist. Enjoy the scenery.

damn, you have no idea how appropriate this is. I want to start enjoying the scenery so much. My life has been a great story so far, so many memorable events and occasions. I don't feel like I've missed out on experiences at all. But I do feel like I've missed out on enjoying the moments. And that sucks because it can breed regret. I need to stay aware of this shit starting right now.

[whaywardj]

Oh, but I DO, CircleC. LOL!

[CircleC]

PS: This idea that appreciating yourself is "cocky" confuses acceptance with arrogance. We're, mostly, acculturated (taught) to desire things and ways of being that help us conform to, "fit into" the prevailing status quo. All well and good if braindead is your idea of good time. Be wary of self-criticism. It's, sometimes, difficult to tell who's doing the criticizing: You, or what you've been told.

I get the point about confusing arrogance with acceptance. I would use the excuse that its arrogant because then I wouldn't have to deal with the acceptance. I need to fully accept myself. I thought I had, but see that there is still some ways to go. Seems like i keep getting tripped up on it and then end up thinking about what started and caused it all. I need to just let it go and realize that I'm me now and I'll go from here. make any sense?

[whaywardj]

...I would use the excuse that its arrogant because then I wouldn't have to deal with the acceptance...

Absolutely BRILLIANT. Precisely. Keep your eyes open for EXACTLY that dynamic -- using one thing to excuse another -- in all your soul searching and wool gathering. One almost CANNOT overcome the tendency -- unless he's a buddha -- but being aware of how it dents his perspective is all one really needs.

[whaywardj]

You're embarrassing some of us with effusive thanks. A simple nod and handshake will do. As for the other, think: Bicycle. Once you learn...

Also, as long as you're asking, you haven't forgotten. It's when you STOP asking that things start to ossify and you turn into the man women have affairs on just to relieve their boredom.

[whaywardj]

Huh? What happened to your last post Circle?

[CircleC]

First of all, I appreciate everyone's time spent responding to me. In particular, Hayward, thank you. Now I can see no hang up in following your advice to find in myself to love what I love in her. Nudged me over that hump. It will be harder than using an excuse not to, but so much more rewarding.

One almost CANNOT overcome the tendency -- unless he's a buddha -- but being aware of how it dents his perspective is all one really needs.

So I most likely will NEVER overcome the tendency to excuse one thing with another. But there must be ways to maintain awareness. I want to have a healthier perspective. That is a major problem for me.

[CircleC]

Sorry, I changed my post a little. After I typed it, I felt like I was getting ahead of myself and confused. I'm giving more consideration to all this stuff than I ever had and just felt a bit overwhelmed. I reread the string and then altered the post. i see how doing that can confuse a conversation. whoops.

[whaywardj]

Couldn't have helped a thing without LF, now could I have? Thank the Admins, the other people who spurred the conversation along, my producer...

[CircleC]

I see your point. Was caught in the moment.

Got away from the computer for a bit and let things sink in. It dawned on me that I may have even been using her affection for me to excuse myself from really loving me. hmmm, yeah i can see how this tendency is a problem and impossible to overcome.

[Rosebud]

Love can do a lot of things to a person but unless your outside the box looking in you can't really understand what has happened after the fact. But don't worry your getting better and things will be ok.

[CircleC]

Love can do a lot of things to a person but unless your outside the box looking in you can't really understand what has happened after the fact. But don't worry your getting better and things will be ok.

yeah, getting a little distance from the situation seems to make it seem clearer.I still gotta get a little more outside the box i think.

[whaywardj]

Boxes? We're talking boxes here? Whose?

[Rosebud]

well I guess it would be CircleC's box!!!!!!