How does a busy guy get a gf?

[Isamu]

I have a girlfriends in both high school and junior high. However, when I got to University, I lost my last bf. For the last 3 years I have been in university and am very busy. My engineering hw keep me at home and after school 4-6 hours a day, and I got work on friday night and at least one day in the weekend. The other days of the weekend I usually play catch up on my study. I have four judo class per week, each lasting around two hours. I also spend half of my lunch hour every day in the gym.

My last girlfriend told me that she left me because she think I don't care enough about her. On our last date she brought a new dress and dress her hair very nicely. She called me ,after the date, crying-saying I didn't notice that she put so much effort into our last date. I told her that I did notice, I just forgot to mention it, but it wasn't enough. She wanted to break up and I excepted it.

Now, three years later and I am on my second last years of my study, I find that I really miss the company of my gf. I am thinking of asking some of my girl friends out, but I am afraid that it might end up the same way. Is it possible to have a relationship with a girl when u can only spend a day per week with her? If a girl like you, would she accompany you through your boring study at school?

Sorry for the spelling, tense, and other grammar and puncuation mistake.

[CircleC]

Maybe you should really think about how much having a girlfriend would mean to you and measure it against the other things that matter in you life. Its those other things that seem to be tying you up.

Could it be that you have been filling your life with as many non gf related activities as possible because you are scared of a real relationship?

If not, maybe you need to compromise your time. What if you cut back to 3 judo lessons a week for example. Maybe you need to give a few things up to show how much one of these girls means to you.

[Mish]

" Is it possible to have a relationship with a girl when u can only spend a day per week with her?" by Isamu

Yes, you can find a girl with a busy lifestyle (Like yours), who will have very little time to dedicate to relationships (Except for maybe one day a week). Where you are going to run into problems though is via management of free time. She may want to spend her free time relaxing from work and away from you, when you would want to spend time with her and vice versa.

If you date people with not as busy lifestyles as yours, then yes you may run into problems of them feeling ignored and as not as high priority as other things in your life (And so they should). So all in all, maybe the best solution for you is to get a pen pal until your busy lifestyle is more or less sorted?

Hope above helps

[lilwing89]

not necessarily mishanya, what if they have a different schedule?

[Mish]

Hi lilwing89

The great thing about pen pals is that you don't really have a schedule. You just sort of "stay in touch". Write whenever you have time and they write to you whenever they have time. It's quite simple

[giulia]

A pen pal is better for you than a girlfriend. You have too much going on and having a girlfriend would be selfish in a way. Unless you re-arrange your time or find someone doing the same thing, rather wait until you are finished.(quit judo or find a lady in your judo class; find lady in your univeristy or someone who works with you.) If you really wanted a relationship you would make the sacrifice/s neccessary.

[Isamu]

A pen pal isn't really a relationship. I was hoping for a "If a girl really like you she would except limitation", but I quess that won't happen. I quess I will have to stay out of a relationship for another 18 months. But after that, a girl might not like me for who I am, but rather for my financial income.

Anybody here found their soul mate in University?

[CircleC]

But after that, a girl might not like me for who I am, but rather for my financial income.

Doesn't every girl you meet understand what you are doing with your life and see the potential income you will earn?
You need to have more faith in women and understand that the right girl for you will love you no matter what your income.
And if you are going to decide to put off a relationship for the next 18 months, then why not a penpal? It can't hurt and won't take that much of your time.

[giulia]

I don't know what you have been through but most of us gals aren't gold diggers....
Are you sure you want a gf? You seem to have a few excuses..I don't mean that in a bad way, but it is definitely something I'm aware of

[Junsui]

I would just wait till you are done with school to start dating. I've heard an engineering degree is very time consuming. You have to be able to make time for that other person when you are in a relationship and it's not really like you have to, but you want to. Right now other things maybe more important in your life.

[Isamu]

Yeah, u guys r right. Part of me miss the companionship of a girlfriend, but I think I know that one isn't really feasible at this point in my life. Thanks for the inputs, I'll take it to heart.

[Junsui]

Good luck with school.

[Rosebud]

I do think it's a very good idea you concentrate on finishing school because you have such a hectic schedule. It wouldn't be hard meeting someone but I think there is a very high possibility that the same thing could happen to you again. I think it's best you wait until you have more time to spare and less things to focus on. Don't worry though you could meet someoen who has a very similar schedule and things could work out for you.. but for now I would stick to school!