College Guys Working Part Time: How much do you spend on the lady?

[singularity2006]

So guys that are in college and working part time. How much do you spend on the lady? For what, how often, how much? Do you help pay for bills, cover food, miscel expenses like gas, etc?

[giulia]

The only stuff you should be paying for is : if you go on a date then you either split the bill, you pay, she pays. It's up to the individual. You shouldn't be paying for her expenses like gas.etc. If you live together then obviously you need to split rent,food.etc costs.

[gHEXjt]

If you're dating a college girl, you should be splitting most things 50/50. That's what's fair. Every now and then you take her out and pay and all, but there's no ****ing way you should ever pay for her gas. And ex-roomate of mine used to do that and he was the biggest pussy I've ever met. Paying for everything is nice once in a while, but it should not be expected. Relationships are give and take, and there's no reason that in today's world, a college guy with a part-time job should be expected to pay for every single thing that he and his gf do.

[singularity2006]

Would there be any situation whatsoever where you would dive in to help with some of those expenses?

[gHEXjt]

Not unless you're engaged or married. Or if she is truly desperate, but doesn't ask you, that is one thing. But if she comes to you asking or just expects that you'd pay her bills because you are her bf, then run for the ****in hills buddy!

[Debunkt]

I hope you're not paying for everything you just mentioned. I'm in college and work and I only spend money on 50% of the dates (when I'm with my gf), plane tickets to go to her (she pays for hers to come to me... and we just split the cost of me going up in december), and otherwise presents or little romantic gifts on occasion. I agree with gHEXjt

[singularity2006]

I'm in an odd situation. Financially speaking, she's caught between a rock and a hard place. I voluntarily began paying for her cell phone bill because I told her to quit her 2nd job so she could focus on school (that job itself was only enough to cover the phone bill). Her monthly wages disappear as soon as they come. She has to pay half to her mom for rent (what parents freaking collect rent from their own kids?). The other half goes to her car payments. Lately, she's been getting whiney about gas and I've been covering her gas. Her car gets good mileage at least. But yeah, last night I kind of let her know that I was getting irritated having to pay for gas like that. It just didn't seem right and that she needs to handle some of that on her own. In the least, she makes me dinner every night I have class, which comes to about $50 a month (she makes me dinner at her workplace and just puts it on her own tab), but that's not quite a balance to the $80 it would cost me to cover her gas per month.

But yeah, I'm like... I don't know. Financially speaking, it's no big deal to me. From a standpoint of principle, I don't know. It's really bad because of how obviously different we are. We walk a fine line between voluntary aide like that and outright being used.

It's kind of tough because there are so many ways she treats me so well that leads me to believe she isn't using me. I'd like to err on the side of optimism and just see how this plays out after that little talk I had with her last night.

This issue got really messy the other day actually. For details, please see: [url]http://www.loveforum.net/t9876-when-did-money-get-in-the-way-of-love.html[/url]

[giulia]

Honey, maybe she isn't using you on purpose....but she is. I don't know if it's on a subconscious level or what. Maybe stop paying for her stuff and see if she stays with you or not...do you think she will? I think answer that question honestly, and then decide wht you want to do. Good luck

[Junsui]

With a lot of people I knew, their parents made them pay rent. Not before they were out of high school, but after they graduated high school and were still living at home.

[singularity2006]

She's paying rent while on financial aide from school. That doesn't seem quite right to me. As for paying for stuff, it's not like I pay for a lot. Phone bill I'm OK with. It's the gas thing I wonder about. Actually, I think she kinda figured out what was wrong with the picture. Had a nice good long chat about that last night. I've had to be very careful about how I phrase things and have had to hold back on my literal thoughts. Like I said, I walk a fine line because of our situation but for me to simply deny all requests would be something like a slap in the face. I think she kind of came to on her own last night. Based on the way she talked to me, I'm pretty sure she was sincere about her intent.

[Junsui]

I'm glad you two were able to talk about it. You shouldn't be paying for her gas anyways unless she was driving you around a lot or something.

I know it's different and my parents never made me pay to live at home. Of course I was only home for one summer. One of my best friends was on financial aide for school and paid rent and bills to live at home. I guess it has to do with teaching them responsibility. Plus her parents weren't really well off or anything.