so i am the dumbest girl alive! its official

[Junsui]

Awww Asip, I wouldn't say pathetic. Yes, it's frustrating when they just won't listen.

[Tone]

I'm all caught up on the posts from yesterday... so here we go - I'm going on Operation: Find the other no-sense havin, needin to get away from her man, no confidence in herself chick.

If I'm not back in 7 minutes... tell shh! that I will always be with her...

[Asip4u]

Awww Asip, I wouldn't say pathetic. Yes, it's frustrating when they just won't listen.

I know that for some people it's easier to stay in that same situation and take all the abuse...Maybe it took them so long to get there in the first place so they don't want to spend so much time searching for a guy again...The thing is, if you're in such a crappy situation, why keep suffering? You only get one chance at life, enjoy it!

[Tone]

Found it!

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/t8323-battered-gf-but-still-wants-him-back-help.html[/url]

Hey girly, read that and ask yourself if that's the kind of relationship you want to be in, cause that's where it's headed. GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

Edit: I was so mean in that thread muahaha

[Junsui]

It's not always about a comfort zone and not wanting to have to look for someone else. Maybe they were abused when they were younger or watched abuse between their parents. So even if they moved on to another relationship it would be the same thing. Sometimes you just can't see what a crappy situation you're in.

[Tone]

And sometimes you can't see because you choose not to open your eyes.

[Rosebud]

oh yeah..... get away from that. He's a big control freak and not mention abusive as everyone has already said... you don't need him, you need to get on with your life and find things that make you happy and that can help build your confidence back in yourself so that you can have a healthy relationship. This is a blessing in disguise, work on yourself and get back your confidence chickie!!! You can do it!!!

[Lindz25]

bare with me..my computer is messing up

[Lindz25]

well, see he never HIT me. i slapped him int the face last year bc he was being rude in my house and disrespected me and my friends. so he pushed me into an old wooden door(i had a HUGE bruise on my shoulder) and he claims it was self defense( i kno i shouldnt have slapped him, trust me I kno i was wrong). he said that im abusive adn psycho and insane, etc etc etc. he always dumped me and either went to his ex(who charged him with assult...apparently he punched her in the face) or these new skanky little bitches that he lies to me about and defends to his death. and see when we break up or have a fight its ALWAYS my fault bc im paranoid about other girls and i have major trust issues with him because of other girls. he always says "if you weren't mental and didnt flip out over girls then we never woulda broke up". and se he KNOWS i haev low self esteem. and becaue of these many girls(he said they've only ever been around once he dumped me...pretty convienent if u ask me) i doubt my looks and wonder if im ever gonna be good enuff for this guy. im told by everyone that im "hot" but i just dont see it. somedays i do see it but mostly i dont. i kno i have a low self esteem and thats why i have a doctors appt on monday to discuss what i should do(cuz i cant afford a psychologist) and i kno he in a way feeds off my low self esteem.
ive been in love with this guy for 4 years and trust me, i wish i wasn't.

[TAVS]

ive been in love with this guy for 4 years and trust me, i wish i wasn't.

Then stop and move on.

[shh!]

Are all you regular posters having fun beating your head against the wall?

[smilingeyes]

well, see he never HIT me. i slapped him int the face last year bc he was being rude in my house and disrespected me and my friends. so he pushed me into an old wooden door(i had a HUGE bruise on my shoulder) and he claims it was self defense( i kno i shouldnt have slapped him, trust me I kno i was wrong). he said that im abusive adn psycho and insane, etc etc etc. he always dumped me and either went to his ex(who charged him with assult...apparently he punched her in the face) or these new skanky little bitches that he lies to me about and defends to his death. and see when we break up or have a fight its ALWAYS my fault bc im paranoid about other girls and i have major trust issues with him because of other girls. he always says "if you weren't mental and didnt flip out over girls then we never woulda broke up". and se he KNOWS i haev low self esteem. and becaue of these many girls(he said they've only ever been around once he dumped me...pretty convienent if u ask me) i doubt my looks and wonder if im ever gonna be good enuff for this guy. im told by everyone that im "hot" but i just dont see it. somedays i do see it but mostly i dont. i kno i have a low self esteem and thats why i have a doctors appt on monday to discuss what i should do(cuz i cant afford a psychologist) and i kno he in a way feeds off my low self esteem.
ive been in love with this guy for 4 years and trust me, i wish i wasn't.

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN FAR FAR AWAY............... I can NOT stress how important it is that you do so. I was married to a man with this exact personality. He didn't "hit" me at first either. But if he has shown signs of violence, he eventually will, they always do. Take your low self esteem, roll it into a bell, and fake confidence like there is no tomorrow, eventually you will start to feel confident. It took me almost 6 months of no contact to figure out what a dangerous position I was in. If you leave this toxic relationship, and I hope you do, make sure you do it with no contact, because I can almost guarantee that you WILL go back if you have contact with him, especially anything sexual. There are plenty of guys out there who will treat you right. I know you don't know me, but please trust me, been there, done that, and I don't want to see anyone else suffer needlessly because of love. Chew on this..... are you really in love with him, or are you addicted to him? They feel the same, but the are very different.

[TAVS]

Are all you regular posters having fun beating your head against the wall?

It beats workin

[Lindz25]

Smilingeyes...
I hear what you're saying very clearly!
he has a way of making me feel guilty for being paranoid and for not trusting him. as though he never did anything to hurt me. and he says that i have hurt him. ESP physcially bc i slapped him those few times. see when he was getting charged for hitting his ex(this was last year btw) hed dump me and throw me outa his house after i was crying or yelling at him for lieing to me, keeping things from me, etc etc. so everytime i got dumped or thrown out id tell him 'you're f*cked in court. see ya!" and what i meant by that was...his ex had emails from me telling her that hes an abusive f*ck bc he threw me into a door and bruised me and claimed self defense. so he uses that against me. yes i kno i shouldnt have in a way, threatened him, but one can only take so much getting thrown out and dumped in a 2 month span. (again not defending my actions, cuz im not just saying why i said waht i said to him)
see he says ive hurt him sooo badly and that the only reason he takled to those girls or hung out with them is cuz i made him dump me over my 'insane actions'
and the latest episode before i was stupid and hung out with him...i went to a club for my bday and was ahving a great time with my friends..i was loaded outa my mind. i got all done up and i looked amazing! so we walked in and saw him...ignored him adn went on and had fun. then all of a sudden, i saw him later in the night and lost it. i had water in a cup and i poured it on his shirt. i walked away and he comes after me and pours his beer on me. so i go up to him adn ***** at him for leaving me again. his friend had to hold him abck from getting at me. my SOBER friends were right behind me as this was happening so i wouldnt get hurt, and they told me that he was being held back bc he was trying to get at me. so i got kicked outt he bar for that and thats making my brother come and want to kick his ass for doing that to me...again! but see NOW my ex is saying that the friend who was holding him back WASNT holding him back. he was holding ME back...im 5'4 110lbs btw and my ex is 6'4 280lbs of no muscle. he said i punched his friend in the back...like the story keep changing and when i tell him how i remember it and how my sober friends SAW it, he tells me im wrong...so...yea this is just to name a few incidences with this guy...

[gHEXjt]

Bottom line is, no one deserves to be treated as poorly as you've been treated. It doesn't matter if you love him, you need to realize that YOU CANNOT GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM AGAIN. EVER! PERIOD. You can do much better, and if you stay away from him for a while, you will lose that love for him and begin to realize that the situation you were in was terrible, and that you will find someone who won't hurt you, or hit you, or make you feel like shit all the time. STOP LETTING YOURSELF BE MANIPULATED, STOP BEING HIS PERSONAL WHORE FOR USE AT HIS DISCRETION, AND CUT OFF ALL CONTACT WITH HIM. You shouldn't be with someone who is constantly hurting you and trying to make you feel guilty and like it is your fault that he is hurting you! It'll kill you now, but you'll be glad you walked away at some point in the future.