one loner here i need freinds

[joe45]

any loners out there and how can i make more freinds. i tried clubs, everything most ppl tend to be aquintances u see-hello and hello there and here and after a while its over. ppl seem to want to stick with their own crowd. i still don;t have a gf at 24 don;t laugh -yea it sucks big time. thinking of taking martial arts, picking up guitar, maybe what next-just as a interest and to meet ppl.

a lot of loners are quite and shy. myself i am one-don;t want to be but growing up as a child and now-well its improving i have always been the quite and shy kid -thats why i have few freinds. parents were always strict and super over sheltered life thinking everyone out there is out to get u and everyones a drug dealer or some badd person-thanks to what they see on the news and movies about young ppl.
parents always said freinds don;t do nothing for u and this and that, came home from school from elem to HS and went straight home munch.gif and then study-school was the only thing they cared about- freinds they thought were a waste of time-only if they could help u in life like school wise.

. if i could go back that be great- i beleive back then when i was 18 19 20 i had girls that were intersted in me- but b/c i was so clueless and could read signs of a girl - i lost out so bad. reading forums like this and other forums definetly helped me out a lot. like just go ask a girl out and who cares if she says no- how to deal with rejection,reading a girls interest level everything.......
i have a guy freind been freinds with him for 4 yrs now - been a total a$$$$$-been a downer and all, i set him up with this girl-not attracted to her and i asked him to set me up - he never did, hes also call me "*beep*", "look you fool", also hes a user and not a helper even if u help him back which i did with setting him up with a girl and lending him a 100 text book whihc he never returned. i don;t like him- trying to block him -hes been my only freind, i don;t really care for him- i'll make new freinds i always have just gotta get out there

[Tone]

Exactly man, I think you know what to do, it's just a matter of getting out and doing it.

Point is - what's happened has happened. You have to learn to get over it and move on, cause the only thing you can do about the past, is learn from it. Cut off your jerkoff friend. Get yourself out there, take up some hobbies, are you in school?

The only person who can change your life, is you. You have to be the one who decides you wanna make that change and put yourself out there. You're not alone, and one thing you can always be sure of in life, is no matter how bad you think you have it, there's always someone out there who has it worse, sadly. =/

We're here to help. We're here to give our advice/opinion based on our knowledge and experiences, but remember it's all on you how you want to take what we give and apply it to your life.

[Maleber]

Exactly man, I think you know what to do, it's just a matter of getting out and doing it.

Point is - what's happened has happened. You have to learn to get over it and move on, cause the only thing you can do about the past, is learn from it. Cut off your jerkoff friend. Get yourself out there, take up some hobbies, are you in school?

The only person who can change your life, is you. You have to be the one who decides you wanna make that change and put yourself out there. You're not alone, and one thing you can always be sure of in life, is no matter how bad you think you have it, there's always someone out there who has it worse, sadly. =/

We're here to help. We're here to give our advice/opinion based on our knowledge and experiences, but remember it's all on you how you want to take what we give and apply it to your life.

You are a God

[whaywardj]

It's amazing how a simple walk outside with no particular place to go can change your whole outlook for an hour or two.

[Mish]

Hi joe45

I sympathize. I remember feeling this way when I was 12 (When my parents moved to a new place and I had to leave evrything behind). What I found interesting was reading books on psychology "Understanding Yourself", what makes you act the way you do. I don't remember any specific names, but there are tonnes of them out there. The key here is finding out the reasons that make you not outgoing or scared of being outgoing or not confident enough about starting up conversations with other people. For each person these reasons will differ, but in the nutshell these mostly will lead to confidence issues, doubts in ones abillities, Insecurities, pesimisitc attitude and plain inexperience. You can find a whole wealth of literature covering the above, which i think will help you understand yourself and this is where work has to begin. You have to understand exactly why you act the way you do in certain situations before you can feel confident enough to put yourself through those situations.

For me finding friends is very easy. All i need to do to find a friend is go to a pub on a friday night after work, there i will find a dozen of my co-workers (Both guys and girls). I don't do anything special, just talk about my daily routine, movies, hobbies, past, present, future aspirations and before i know it i have a new friend. It's that easy.

After learning more about yourself and finding out exactly what kind of a person you yourself are, I would recommend to put yourself into social activities to get more people's experience and people's skills. Sports, dancing classes, singing lessons, outside of work co-worker activity, anything social will give you the much needed experience to achieve what you are looking for...

Hope above helps and best of luck for the future!!!

[whaywardj]

On a jealous note: Don't let it go to you head, Tone. Remember how impressionable they are.

[joe45]

the thing with this freind is one day or sometimes he can be the nicest guy-supporitve and this and that and sometimes he can be the biggest jack axxxxx u can ever hate.
one time he said "woow 24 yr old guy and never had a gf woow pathetic lsoer"-that hurted me bad
makes fun of the way i dress like thats cheap and u look like a fxxx FOB -i am cbc


all and all i knew this frend for too long 4 yrs approx i need to widen my circle of friends and meet more ppl.

[Bluevetteracer]

the thing with this freind is one day or sometimes he can be the nicest guy-supporitve and this and that and sometimes he can be the biggest jack axxxxx u can ever hate.
one time he said "woow 24 yr old guy and never had a gf woow pathetic lsoer"-that hurted me bad
makes fun of the way i dress like thats cheap and u look like a fxxx FOB -i am cbc


all and all i knew this frend for too long 4 yrs approx i need to widen my circle of friends and meet more ppl.

This starts with you, being someone that people want to be around. You have no identity my friend, start creating one for yourself.

So I take it you did not race dirt bikes growing up, play ball, bum your dad's car and forget and leave condom foils in the back seat?

I HIGHLY RECOMEND THIS BOOK

HOW TO SUCCEED WITH WOMEN

You would be well suited to do everything that book says in every aspect of your life.

Mark

[Tone]

On a jealous note: Don't let it go to you head, Tone. Remember how impressionable they are.

ha! Trust me, I won't.

Most of what I say is what I've picked up from my studies here on LF for the past 6 months from awesome people like you.

Guy - stop hanging around that friend then. If I had a friend like that I certainly wouldn't want to be around them, and I wouldn't.

[Lloyd95]

Make a lot of money. Like a ton. then everyone will want to become your friend.

[Hikauri]

mate, I'm just like you. Super conservative parents who said friends were worth nothing, and that you could get them after making the big bucks and graduating first in the class.

I go to college now, and let me tell you that getting out of the loner-mindset is totally up to you. For us guys who have never tried, it's gonna be hard, but you need to realize that the hurts and pain you get from potential rejection from reaching out to people to make friends is equal, if not more, than the pain you'll get from living alone and shunning people.

I've only recently made the decision to look for love, after five or six years of believing that I didn't need such a thing. Life is worth nothing when you live it alone and for yourself. Good luck with that mate, and we'll be here to turn the light off when you get home.

well, i meant that proverbially, not literally....

[Tone]

Well I stalk shh!, so for me it's literally...

[shh!]

Yay! My first stalker!

[TAVS]

Yay! My first stalker!

I wouldnt say he's your first. I saw at least three guys out by your house when I was there last night.

[Tone]

I'm her Monday, Friday, and Saturday.