New info on my situation

[sfalexi]

Well, the girl I've been dating for a little over a year called a break. But not a full break, just more of a "toning down" and more time apart thing. She said she wants to be more apart from me to figure things out. I know she wasn't in love with me, but I was getting frustrated cause after a year you would think she would know . . . So we talked about it. Still haven't worked out all the "details" but here's what we're at.

And for the record this is her call and her reasons, and her requests.

1) Not a 'breakup'. Just a toning down back to "casual dating". Meaning that we would still date. Just not get together as often as we did when we were steady.

2) She said she might go on dates with a guy here or there (and she mentioned by 'date' she means meeting up for coffee or hanging out), and I am free to go on dates with other girls as well as her.

3) She said that I can forget ever getting back together if I fool around with girls and I told her the same on her part. I told her that if she feels like she wants to fool around with some guy, to better call me and let me know that it's over and we'll go our separate ways.

4) She's also seen a few examples at her job and throughout life where a temporary break leads to the couple getting back together even stronger in the end. And that's why she wants to maintain contact and continue dating me. She wants to make sure that we have a chance of getting back together cause she's about 95% sure that the absence will make her heart grow fonder and that she'll then be SURE she wants to be with me for the long-haul.

She says that right now, her gut feeling is that I am "the one". As in the one to stay with and try to start a future with. She also wanted to go this route because while she's with me she can't figure it out. And she didn't want it to get to a point where I say, "To hell with this. We're done. I can't take it anymore." So instead of waiting for me to get so frustrated that I break up with her, she wanted to 'nip it in the bud' and call a break from me. That way she knows she'll be forced to figure out whether she truly loves me or not without the fear of losing me altogether.

She knows it's a risk because I might meet some girl while dating that I want to get serious with instead of her, but she'd rather take that risk than wait for me to break up with her for not figuring it out and being too frustrated in the relationship.

So I let her go. But the thing is, it's probably gonna feel all wierd. Remember what we used to do together when we were alone (like last Thursday . . [wink][wink]) and now dating her but knowing that I can't really do that because she wants to figure things out. Well, here goes.

I'm not really asking for advice on what to do (although undoubtedly some of you will be giving it), but more just stating my situation for commentation on the situation and whether you think it'll work and we'll get back together or not and whether you would have done things differently.

Alexi

[Innova]

Your either in for a great ride in the end, or a huge disappointment. Just know the choices these paths give.

Seems you guys have a mutual understanding, and thats a great thing to know. Communication is such a huge part.

I hope everything works out dude, good luck.

[sfalexi]

Your either in for a great ride in the end, or a huge disappointment.

That's exactly why she wanted a break. So it's no longer just 'be there' and not progressing and me getting frustrated. Now it's a 'make or break' situation. At least you agree that it'll make the end definitive. Well, we'll see what happens. Like I said, we still haven't worked the details out, but the above things were discussed in brief. I know she still loves kissing and cuddling with me, but I think it's just gonna be less of it while she's making her decision.

[jane]

Sfalexi.. we talked last night so you know how I feel about all of this.. Take care of yourself and take one day at a time!